This is such valuable information about children's benefits! I'm the original poster and I'm so glad @Giovanni Rossi brought this up. I had been so focused on my own benefit eligibility that I completely overlooked what might be available for my kids. Just to clarify - when you say children can get benefits when their parent retires, does this apply even if the parent remarries? My ex got remarried last year, and I wasn't sure if that would affect anything for our children's potential benefits. Also, would my own remarriage impact my kids' eligibility in any way? I'm definitely going to organize all his employment and SSN information better now. It's reassuring to know that even though I missed out on the 10-year rule, my children still have these potential benefits available to them. Thank you for sharing your expertise!

As someone who's navigated similar Social Security questions, I want to echo what others have said about the 10-year rule being absolute - there truly are no exceptions for having children together when it comes to divorced spouse retirement benefits. I learned this the hard way when helping my sister with her situation. However, I'm really glad @Giovanni Rossi brought up the children's benefits aspect! This is something many people overlook. Your kids having potential access to benefits on their father's record is actually quite valuable, especially since your youngest will still be under 18 when your ex reaches early retirement age. One thing I'd add is to consider creating a simple file with all the relevant information - your ex's full name, SSN, dates of employment at major jobs, etc. You never know when circumstances might change, and having this organized will make any future applications much smoother. I've seen too many people scramble to find this information when they need it most. It's frustrating about missing the 10-year mark by such a small margin, but focusing on maximizing your own earnings record and knowing about your children's potential benefits gives you a clearer path forward for retirement planning.

For restarting after suspension, you don't need a new application. You simply contact SSA to request reinstatement of your benefits. This can be done by phone, in person, or online through your my Social Security account. When you request reinstatement, benefits resume the month after your request (unless you specify a future month). The amount will include all accumulated DRCs. My recommendation: Set a calendar reminder about 30 days before you want to restart. This gives SSA time to process everything so there's no gap in payments.

just a tip from someone who did the suspend thing last year - write down EVERYTHING when u talk to them! i didnt get the name of the person i talked to when i suspended and then they had no record of my request! lost a month of credits because of it. always get confirmation numbers and names!!!!!

does anyone no if the earnings limit changes every year? my nephew is on disabilty and his wife works, they told them theres a limit for her to.

I work for a nonprofit that helps people navigate Social Security issues, and I can confirm the other commenters are absolutely right - the rep gave you incorrect information. Employment income (wages, salary, bonuses) definitely counts toward the annual earnings test for ALL Social Security benefits when you're under full retirement age, including survivor benefits. The $22,320 limit for 2025 is correct, and yes, they'll withhold $1 for every $2 you earn over that amount. Since you mentioned a $20,000 increase, this could significantly impact your benefits if it puts you over the limit. Here's my advice: When you call back, ask to speak with a "Technical Expert" or request to be transferred to someone who specializes in survivor benefits and the earnings test. Regular customer service reps sometimes mix up the rules between different types of income. Also, have your expected 2025 earnings amount ready - they'll need to know your total anticipated wages for the year to properly adjust your benefits going forward. Don't wait on this - it's much easier to have them adjust your monthly benefit amount now than to deal with an overpayment situation later!

I went through a similar situation last year and want to share a few additional tips that helped me! First, when ordering certified copies, get at least 2-3 of each document - you never know if you'll need extras for other purposes or if one gets damaged. Second, I created a simple checklist and kept copies of everything in a folder organized by marriage/relationship so I could easily find what the SSA rep was asking for. Also, if you're having trouble getting your first husband's death certificate because you're divorced, try contacting the funeral home that handled his arrangements - they sometimes keep records and can point you in the right direction for obtaining the official certificate. The whole process took me about 45 minutes once I had all my paperwork in order, so the prep work is definitely worth it!

As someone who works in retirement planning, I want to emphasize something important that hasn't been mentioned yet - timing matters significantly for your situation! Since you're eligible for both survivor benefits from your deceased ex-husband AND your own retirement benefits, you have some strategic options at FRA. You can actually file a "restricted application" to claim survivor benefits first while letting your own retirement benefit grow with delayed retirement credits until age 70 (earning 8% per year). Then at 70, you could switch to your own higher benefit if it exceeds the survivor amount. This strategy isn't available to everyone, but since you were born before 1954, you may qualify. Definitely ask the SSA rep about this when you go in - it could mean thousands of dollars in additional lifetime benefits! And yes, bring all those documents everyone mentioned - they'll need to verify your entire marital history to determine all your options.

Thank you all for the helpful responses. I'm going to try contacting SSA directly to get a definitive answer for our situation. The Claimyr service someone mentioned sounds helpful since I've had trouble getting through on the phone before. I appreciate the clarification about Colorado recognizing common-law marriage, but it sounds like that alone won't help with the grandchildren's eligibility. Neither child has disabilities that would qualify for SSI, so that's unfortunately not an option either. I'll update this thread if I learn anything that might help others in similar situations.

Just wanted to add another perspective here - I work in family law and see situations like this frequently. While the adoption route seems daunting with teenagers, it's actually not uncommon and can still provide benefits. Colorado has a streamlined process for stepparent adoption when there's been long-term care, and since you have conservatorship already, that demonstrates the legal relationship. Even if your partner adopts them at 14 and 16, they could still qualify for student benefits through age 19 if they're in high school, which could help with college costs. The adoption might also help with other things like medical decisions, inheritance, and family medical leave. It's worth consulting with a family attorney who specializes in these situations - many offer free consultations and can walk you through the process and timeline.