Can I claim Social Security benefits on ex-spouse's record with under 10-year marriage but have children together?

I work with Social Security claims regularly, and I need to clarify some misconceptions here. There is NO exception to the 10-year marriage rule for ex-spouse benefits just because you have children together. The requirement is very strict - your marriage must have lasted at least 10 years to qualify for divorced spouse benefits. What your sister might be referring to is something different - she may have been receiving benefits as a parent caring for the children of her ex (when they were under 16), not retirement benefits based on her ex's record. Those are completely different benefits with different rules. Your current situation: 1. Your marriage was under 10 years, so you cannot receive ex-spouse retirement benefits 2. Your remarriage further disqualifies you from any potential ex-spouse benefits 3. The only time children matter is when you're caring for them while they're under 16, which no longer applies to your situation

I went through EXACTLY this with SSA last year. Was married for 9 years 7 months and thought having kids would help, but NOPE! The 10-year rule is ABSOLUTE with no exceptions!!! I argued with multiple SSA reps but they all said the same thing - even ONE DAY short of 10 years means ZERO benefits. It's completely unfair and I'm still bitter about it. And yes, your remarriage absolutely blocks you from ex-spouse benefits anyway. The system is designed to hurt women who spent years raising kids while their ex-spouse built up higher earnings. I tried everything to get around it.

Your sister's situation sounds like she was receiving mother's/father's benefits, which you can get when caring for a child under 16 who receives benefits on a parent's record. These are different from spousal or divorced spouse retirement benefits. With regards to your situation, here are the facts: 1) For divorced spouse retirement benefits, the 10-year marriage duration is absolute. There are no exceptions for having children together. 2) Remarriage generally prevents you from collecting on an ex-spouse's record (with rare exceptions for widow(er)s over 60). 3) Having children together doesn't override either of these rules for retirement benefits. Your best option now is to maximize your own work record. Make sure you work at least 35 years (to avoid zeros in your calculation) and consider delaying your own benefits until age 70 if possible to maximize your monthly amount.

I think everyone's forgetting you can still get survivors benefits for you ex even if you were married less than 10 years as long as you have his child under 16! My friend got these after her ex died even tho they were only married 5 years. So maybe thats what your sister meant?

Have you actually tried calling Social Security directly about your specific situation? I spent THREE WEEKS trying to get through to them about my own benefits question. The wait times are insane and I kept getting disconnected. I finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to a real person at SSA in about 15 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU It was definitely worth it because I got different information from the actual SSA agent than what I was reading online. Some of these rules have exceptions based on individual circumstances, so you really need to speak directly with SSA about your specific situation.

my aunt had similar situation but she waited till 62 to apply for benefits and ssa told her even tho she remarried since she was divorced from that second husband before reaching 60 she could still claim on her first husband who had the higher benefit. but they definitely said the marriage had to be 10 years minimum, no exceptions for kids.

the whole social security system is just so confusing! i never know what benefits im eligible for. i think most people dont realize how different the rules are for survivor benefits vs divorced spouse benefits vs disability benefits etc. and then theres all these weird exceptions and special rules. no wonder everyone gets confused!

To summarize what everyone has said regarding your situation: 1) For divorced spouse retirement benefits, you must have been married at least 10 years - being 4 months short means you don't qualify, regardless of having children together. 2) Your current marriage would disqualify you anyway (unless it ends before you apply). 3) The benefit your sister likely received was either: - Mother's benefits while caring for young children - Survivor benefits if her ex died (which have different rules) To maximize your retirement income now: - Ensure you work long enough to replace those zero years in your earnings record - Consider maximizing retirement account contributions - Look into whether your current marriage (if it lasts 10+ years) might provide spousal benefits - Consider delaying your own retirement benefits to increase your monthly amount