Can I claim Social Security survivor benefits from ex-husband who died at 61 after 9-year marriage?
I just found out my ex-husband passed away 4 months ago at age 61. I'm currently 53 and trying to figure out if I qualify for any of his Social Security benefits. We were married for 9 years before divorcing in 2012. He never remarried after our divorce. I'm also currently single. I know his first wife died about 8 years ago, and he has four adult children from that marriage. I've tried looking at the SSA website but got confused about the rules for ex-spouses and survivor benefits when you're under retirement age. Does the 10-year marriage rule still apply if the ex-spouse has died? Do I need to wait until I'm 60 to claim anything? Any help would be really appreciated as I'm trying to plan for the future.
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Cynthia Love
You generally need to have been married for at least 10 years to qualify for benefits based on an ex-spouse's record. Since you were married for 9 years, unfortunately you wouldn't qualify for survivor benefits in most circumstances. There are exceptions if you're caring for his child under 16, but since you mentioned his children are all adults, that wouldn't apply to your situation. If you had reached the 10-year mark, you could claim reduced survivor benefits as early as age 60 (or 50 if disabled).
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Naila Gordon
•That's what I was afraid of. I wish I had known about the 10-year rule years ago. We divorced just 11 months shy of our 10-year anniversary. Is there any appeal process or exception since we were so close to the 10-year mark?
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Darren Brooks
My friend went thru something similar but she was married 11 years so she got benefits. The SSA is really strict about that 10 year rule. No exceptions that I ever heard about. Sorry :
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Naila Gordon
•Thanks for the response. It's frustrating to think that just 11 more months of marriage would have made all the difference for my future security.
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Rosie Harper
This is EXACTLY why the system is broken!!! 9 years vs 10 years and you get NOTHING. My sister was married 9 years 10 months and got denied too. The SSA doesn't care about people, just their arbitrary rules. You should still apply anyway and see what happens. Sometimes they make mistakes. Worth a shot!!!
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Cynthia Love
•While I understand the frustration, applying when clearly not eligible can actually cause problems. The SSA might view it as an intentional attempt to claim benefits you know you're not entitled to. Better to focus on maximizing your own retirement benefits through continued work and possibly delayed claiming.
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Elliott luviBorBatman
I had a similar situation last year - ex died at 59 and I needed to talk to SSA about it. You should definitely call them directly to confirm your specific situation. I spent THREE DAYS trying to get through to a real person. Finally found this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an agent in under 10 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU The agent confirmed I wasn't eligible (was only married 7 years), but at least I got a definitive answer from an official source. They might be able to tell you if there are any other benefits you might qualify for based on your specific work history.
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Naila Gordon
•Thank you for this suggestion! I've been dreading making that call because I've heard how impossible it is to get through. I'll check out that service - would be worth it to get a definitive answer from SSA directly.
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Demi Hall
ok so here's the thing everyone is missing - if you were caring for his child under 16 or disabled at the time of his death, the 10-year rule doesn't apply! you could get benefits at any age. but since you said his kids are adults that prob doesn't help you.
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Cynthia Love
•You're right about that exception, but as you noted, it doesn't apply in this case since the children are adults. Good point to bring up though, as many people aren't aware of that exception to the 10-year rule.
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Mateusius Townsend
This is why its so important for women to understand SS rules BEFORE divorce! I tell all my friends to at least hit the 10 year mark if possible. Sorry you missed it by so little time. Make sure you're saving for your own retirement now.
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Darren Brooks
•Totally agree! I wish they taught this stuff in school. So many women don't know about these rules until it's too late.
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Kara Yoshida
Wait, I thought the 10-year rule was just for regular benefits while the ex is still alive? Are survivor benefits different? I've been divorced twice (once after 8 years, once after 12) and I'm so confused about what I might be eligible for.
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Cynthia Love
•No, the 10-year marriage requirement applies to both divorced spouse benefits and divorced survivor benefits. For your situation, you potentially could qualify for benefits on the record of the spouse you were married to for 12 years, assuming you haven't remarried before age 60 (for survivor benefits) or are currently unmarried (for regular spousal benefits).
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Naila Gordon
Thank you everyone for the responses. This is disappointing but at least now I know where I stand. I'm going to call SSA directly to confirm everything, and then focus on maximizing my own retirement benefits. I appreciate all the information and support.
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Cynthia Love
•That's a good approach. Since you're 53 now, you have time to boost your own retirement security. Consider increasing your contributions to workplace retirement plans or IRAs if possible. Also, when you eventually claim your own Social Security retirement benefits, remember that waiting until your Full Retirement Age (67 for your birth year) or even up to age 70 can significantly increase your monthly benefit amount.
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Lucas Bey
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, the 10-year marriage requirement is strictly enforced by SSA with very few exceptions. However, I'd recommend double-checking a few things when you call SSA: 1) Make sure they have the correct marriage and divorce dates on file - sometimes there are discrepancies that could work in your favor, 2) Ask specifically about any credits you might have earned during your marriage that could boost your own future benefits, and 3) Inquire about whether you might qualify for any disability benefits if you have health issues. Also, don't forget that you may still be eligible for benefits on your own work record, and at 53 you have time to increase those future benefits through continued employment. Good luck with your call to SSA!
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Caden Turner
•This is really helpful advice! I hadn't thought about the possibility of date discrepancies in SSA records. When I do call them, I'll make sure to have our marriage certificate and divorce decree handy to verify the exact dates. The point about checking for any credits earned during marriage is interesting too - I worked part-time for several years while we were married, so maybe that could help my own future benefits somehow. Thanks for the practical suggestions!
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Brian Downey
I'm really sorry for your loss and the difficult situation you're facing. While the 10-year rule is unfortunately very strict, I wanted to mention a couple of things that might be worth exploring when you call SSA. First, make absolutely certain they have your correct marriage and divorce dates - even a few days difference could matter if there's any discrepancy in their records. Second, since your ex-husband never remarried, you might want to ask about any potential one-time death benefit (though this is typically only $255 and goes to surviving spouses or children). Most importantly, use this as motivation to maximize your own Social Security earnings record over the next 14 years before your full retirement age. Every year of higher earnings can replace lower-earning years in your benefit calculation. I know it's not the answer you were hoping for, but focusing on what you can control moving forward will serve you well.
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