I'm so sorry for your loss, Theodore. This whole thread really shows how many families get hit with this same cruel reality - Social Security's inflexible "survive the entire month" rule that completely ignores the financial reality grieving families face. I work as a benefits counselor and unfortunately see this situation regularly. The policy dates back decades and hasn't been updated to reflect how people actually live and pay bills in the real world. While there's nothing that can be done about January's payment, I wanted to add a couple things that might help: 1. When your son calls SSA, he should also ask about any potential overpayments from previous months - sometimes there can be small adjustments that work in the beneficiary's favor 2. If your ex had any supplemental insurance policies through AARP or similar organizations, those often have different (more reasonable) payout rules than government benefits 3. Some funeral homes offer payment plans specifically designed for families dealing with delayed insurance payouts - it might be worth asking The survivor benefit you'll be eligible for at 60 could be quite substantial since you were married 14 years and he was already receiving benefits. That's something positive to hold onto during this difficult time. Everyone's advice about documentation is spot-on - keep records of everything. This bureaucratic maze shouldn't exist when families are grieving, but unfortunately it does.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Theodore. This whole situation is incredibly frustrating and unfair - you're dealing with grief while also trying to navigate a bureaucratic system that seems designed to make things harder for families. I went through something very similar when my mother passed away on the 14th of February last year. Like everyone has mentioned, Social Security's "all or nothing" policy is ironclad - no prorating whatsoever. It's particularly cruel because, as you said, all the bills for utilities, rent, medical expenses, etc. are still due for the full month, but SSA acts like those first two weeks didn't exist. A few things that helped us get through the administrative maze: - Keep a detailed log of every phone call to SSA, including dates, times, representative names, and reference numbers - Ask for written confirmation of the death report and save all correspondence - Set aside any Social Security payments that might arrive after the death date - don't spend them even if they seem legitimate - Contact your ex's bank about the direct deposit situation to prevent complications The $255 death benefit really is minimal compared to funeral costs, but definitely pursue it if your son qualifies. Also, since you were married for 14 years and haven't remarried, make sure to apply for those ex-spouse survivor benefits when you turn 60 - they could provide meaningful financial support. This policy desperately needs to be reformed, but until then, families like yours are unfortunately stuck dealing with this during an already devastating time. Hang in there.

Just to add a bit more info - as the representative payee, you should have received a "Representative Payee Report" form from SSA to complete each year. This isn't a tax form, but it's the SSA's way of making sure the benefits are being used properly for your daughter. Make sure you complete and return that form when it arrives (usually around the anniversary of when you began receiving benefits). The SSA can suspend payments if they don't receive this form.

I went through something similar when my nephew came to live with me after his mom passed. One thing I learned that might help - even though you don't report the survivor benefits on YOUR tax return, it's still a good idea to keep records of all the payments. I created a simple folder with the monthly benefit statements and any correspondence from SSA. This helped me when I had to complete that representative payee report form someone mentioned, and it's also useful if you ever need to show proof of income for things like school lunch programs or other assistance programs your daughter might be eligible for. The benefits often qualify kids for reduced-price meals and other programs, so having that documentation handy can be really helpful.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this exhausting process on top of managing such a complex medical condition. Cystinuria requiring 4-5 surgeries annually is absolutely debilitating - the unpredictability alone would make it nearly impossible to maintain steady employment. Based on everything you've shared and the great advice from others here, I'd definitely prioritize the CDB application under your mother's record. Since you were diagnosed at 13 with a genetic condition and your mom has been on SSDI since 2007, this seems like your strongest path forward. A couple of additional thoughts that might help: 1. **When documenting your condition**, emphasize the unpredictable nature - employers need reliability, and when you never know when you'll need emergency surgery, that's a huge barrier to employment that SSA should understand. 2. **For your stalled case**, 13 months at Step 3 suggests they might be waiting for additional medical evidence or there could be a clerical issue. Definitely try the in-person visit to your local office. 3. **Consider keeping a symptom diary** going forward - documenting pain levels, ER visits, work days missed, etc. This can be powerful evidence of how your condition actually impacts daily functioning. The financial stress while waiting is awful, and your partner burning out as sole provider adds another layer of difficulty. You're dealing with so much, and you absolutely deserve support through this system you've been paying into. Don't give up - your claim is legitimate and you will get through this process.

I'm so sorry you're going through this incredibly frustrating situation. Your case highlights everything wrong with how the disability system treats people with legitimate conditions - making you wait over a year while dealing with constant medical emergencies is just cruel. From reading all the excellent advice here, it sounds like everyone is pointing you toward the same strategy: pursue the CDB application under your mother's record immediately while also pushing for answers on your stalled SSI case. Having a genetic condition diagnosed at 13 with such extensive ongoing medical needs should absolutely qualify you for CDB. One thing I'd add that I haven't seen mentioned - when you do get that updated medical documentation focused on functional limitations, make sure your doctors also document the cognitive impact of chronic pain and frequent medications. Many people don't realize that pain conditions also affect concentration, memory, and decision-making abilities, which are crucial for most jobs. Also, the fact that you've been managing this condition for over 20 years shows incredible strength. Don't let the bureaucratic nightmare make you doubt the legitimacy of your needs. A condition requiring 4-5 surgeries per year plus constant ER visits is absolutely disabling, regardless of what some uninformed people might say. Keep fighting - you've got a whole community here rooting for you and providing practical advice. You will get through this process!

Don't forget to create your my Social Security account online if you haven't already! You can track your application status, view your payment history once payments start, and update your direct deposit information all through the portal. It's much easier than trying to call, and you can access it 24/7. Just go to ssa.gov and look for "Sign In or Create an Account." You'll need to verify your identity, but it's worth having everything at your fingertips, especially when those first payments start coming in April.

Just went through this exact situation last year! My FRA was January 15th, 2024, and I was so confused about the timing too. Everyone here is giving you correct info - you'll definitely get your first payment in April 2025 covering March benefits. The one-month delay threw me off at first, but it's just how their system works. Also, make sure you've filed your application already if you haven't! Even though you reach FRA in March, you want to apply about 3 months beforehand to avoid any processing delays. The online application at ssa.gov is pretty straightforward and much easier than trying to get through on the phone lines.

Don't forget about Medicare!!!! You should sign up for that at 65 even if you delay SS benefits!!!! I messed this up and am paying higher premiums forever as a penalty!!!

Another factor to consider is inflation protection. Social Security benefits get annual cost-of-living adjustments (COLA), so that higher monthly amount from delaying to 70 will compound over time. If you're in good health and have family longevity, the math usually favors waiting. I delayed from 67 to 70 and my monthly benefit went from about $2,800 to $3,500. Three years later with COLA increases, I'm now getting $3,847/month. The extra $1,000+ monthly really adds up!