How to find my ex-husband's Social Security benefit amount for spousal benefits comparison?
I've been divorced for almost 11 years now (married for 19 years) and I'll be turning 62 next February. I'm trying to figure out if I should take my own Social Security benefit or if I can get more by claiming 50% of my ex-husband's benefit. The problem is I have absolutely no idea how much his benefit would be - we haven't spoken in years and I definitely don't want to contact him about this! I know he made quite a bit more than me over his career (he was an engineer while I worked part-time as a teacher for many years). Is there any way I can find out what his benefit amount would be without actually talking to him? Will SSA tell me that information if I call them? I'm trying to plan my retirement budget and this makes a big difference.
40 comments


Carmen Lopez
Good news - yes, you can find this out without contacting your ex! The SSA can tell you what your potential spousal benefits would be based on your ex-husband's record. You'll need to provide proof of the marriage (marriage certificate) and divorce (divorce decree), and his Social Security number if you have it. If you don't have his SSN, they can usually find his record with his full name and date of birth. Just call and ask about your potential divorced spouse benefits. They won't tell you his exact benefit amount, but they will tell you what YOUR benefit would be based on his record, which is what you need to know anyway.
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Yuki Ito
•Oh thank goodness! I do have our marriage certificate and divorce papers somewhere in my files. I think I have his SSN written down somewhere too. But what's the best way to contact them? I've tried calling the SSA before and was on hold for over an hour before getting disconnected.
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AstroAdventurer
Just to add some important information here - make sure you understand the basic qualifications for divorced spouse benefits: 1. Your marriage lasted at least 10 years (yours did at 19 years) 2. You're currently unmarried 3. You're at least 62 (which you will be soon) 4. Your ex is entitled to benefits (even if he hasn't filed yet, he must be eligible) 5. The benefit you're entitled to on your own work record is less than what you'd receive on his Also, if you claim at 62, you'll get reduced benefits - about 32.5% less than if you waited until your Full Retirement Age. This reduction applies whether you take your own benefit or the spousal benefit. At FRA, the spousal benefit would be 50% of your ex's PIA, but at 62 it's significantly less.
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Yuki Ito
•Thank you! Yes, I'm aware of the reduction for claiming early. I've been debating waiting until my FRA (which is 67), but I'm not sure I can financially. My ex is 64 now and still working as far as I know, so he's definitely eligible. And yes, I never remarried. So it sounds like I qualify - I just need to figure out if it's worth taking the spousal benefit or my own.
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Andre Dupont
If you're having trouble reaching someone at SSA, try using Claimyr.com - it's a service that gets you through to a real SSA agent without the hours of waiting on hold. I used it when I was trying to sort out my own divorced spouse benefits situation last year. It worked great and saved me so much frustration. They have a video showing how it works at https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Once you get through to SSA, ask them to run a calculation showing what your benefit would be on your own record versus what it would be on your ex's record. They can do this comparison for you.
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Zoe Papanikolaou
•does that service really work? i tried calling ssa like 5 times last month and kept getting disconnected after waiting foreverrrrr. never heard of this before
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Andre Dupont
Yes it really does! I was skeptical too but it saved me hours of frustration. SSA phone system is completely broken right now with all the post-covid backlog. With Claimyr they call SSA for you and then connect you once they get through to a real person.
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Yuki Ito
•Thank you for the suggestion! I'll look into that service. Getting through to a real person at SSA seems almost impossible these days.
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Jamal Wilson
My sister went thru this last yr. She got her ex's benefit amount and it was WAY more than hers would have been. she was married 22 yrs to the guy. SSA told her everything, didnt have to talk to the ex at all. But yeah the wait times on phone are crazy bad now!!
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Yuki Ito
•That's encouraging to hear! I'm hoping for the same result. Did your sister claim at 62 or did she wait until her full retirement age?
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Jamal Wilson
She waited till 65 cuz she was still working part time. Said the extra amount was worth it. But everybody's situation is different ya know?
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Mei Lin
THE SSA WILL NOT GIVE YOU ACCURATE INFORMATION!!! I went through this last year and the first agent told me one thing, the second told me something completely different! Then when I finally got my benefits they were LESS than both amounts they quoted me!!! The system is BROKEN and they LIE to you! Go to a financial advisor who specializes in SS benefits and PAY for good advice. Dont trust what the SSA tells you!!!
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Carmen Lopez
•While I understand your frustration, it's important to note that SSA representatives are generally providing accurate information based on the specific details of your situation. Information can seem contradictory because different agents may be looking at different aspects of your case or making different assumptions. For benefit estimates, I recommend getting everything in writing and asking the representative to explain exactly how they calculated the amount. You can also create an account at my.ssa.gov to see estimates online.
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Liam Fitzgerald
One thing nobody mentioned - if your ex-husband has already filed for his benefits, and you take yours at 62, you'll automatically be given the higher of either your benefit or the divorced spouse benefit. They'll compare them and give you whichever is more. You don't have to choose between them - SSA will just pay you the higher amount. If he hasn't filed yet but is eligible, you can still get divorced spouse benefits if you've been divorced for at least 2 years (which you have). This is called the "independently entitled divorced spouse" provision.
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Yuki Ito
•That's really helpful to know! I wasn't sure if I had to specifically request one or the other. I don't think my ex has filed yet since he's still working, but it's good to know I can still get benefits based on his record thanks to that 2-year rule. I've definitely been divorced way longer than that.
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Zoe Papanikolaou
my friend was in your exact situation!!! she said when she went to the SSA office in person they told her everything, but when she called they wouldnt give her any info about the ex. so maybe try going in person if u can?
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Yuki Ito
Thanks for all the helpful advice everyone! I'm going to try calling SSA this week using that Claimyr service someone mentioned. If that doesn't work, I'll try to make an in-person appointment. I'll update once I find out if I qualify for the higher amount on my ex's record.
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AstroAdventurer
•Good plan! Just one more tip - when you talk to SSA, ask them to run a calculation called the "ANYPIA" for both your record and a spousal benefit on your ex's record. This will give you the most accurate comparison. Write down the names of anyone you speak with and take detailed notes. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
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Sophia Nguyen
Just wanted to share my experience as someone who went through this exact situation about 3 years ago. I was also a teacher married to an engineer for 18 years, divorced for 12 years when I turned 62. The SSA was actually very helpful once I got through to them - they calculated both my benefit and the divorced spouse benefit and told me exactly which would be higher. In my case, the spousal benefit was about 40% more than my own would have been! One thing I'd add that hasn't been mentioned - make sure you have your ex's full legal name as it appears on his Social Security card, not just what he went by. My ex went by "Mike" but his legal name was "Michael" and that caused some initial confusion when they were trying to locate his record. Also, if he's changed jobs a lot or had periods of self-employment, his earnings record might be more complex, so be patient with the process. The hardest part was just getting through to someone at SSA, but once I did, they were knowledgeable and walked me through everything. Good luck!
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Carmen Ruiz
•This is incredibly helpful! Your situation sounds almost identical to mine - teacher married to an engineer for about the same length of time. It's so reassuring to hear that the spousal benefit was significantly higher for you. That gives me hope that it might be worth it for me too. Great tip about the legal name vs. nickname issue - I need to double-check what name I have written down for my ex. I think I only have his nickname in some places. Did you end up taking the benefit at 62 or did you wait longer? I'm still torn about the early filing penalty vs. needing the income sooner. Thank you for sharing your experience - it really helps to hear from someone who's been through this exact process!
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Dmitry Ivanov
I'm in a similar situation myself - about to turn 62 and trying to figure out the best strategy. One thing I learned from my research is that you can actually apply for benefits and then change your mind within 12 months if you find out you made the wrong choice. It's called "withdrawal of application" and you'd have to pay back what you received, but it gives you some flexibility if you're unsure. Also, don't forget that if you do take reduced benefits at 62, they'll automatically recalculate and increase your payment when you reach full retirement age if you're still working and earning credits. The system is designed to give you the highest benefit you're entitled to. I'd also suggest checking if your state has any free Social Security counseling programs - many do through their aging departments. Sometimes getting a second opinion from someone who deals with these cases regularly can be really valuable.
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Yara Sabbagh
•That's really interesting about the withdrawal option! I had no idea you could change your mind within 12 months. That definitely makes me feel less anxious about making the "wrong" decision at 62. Do you know if there are any fees or penalties for doing the withdrawal, or do you just have to pay back what you received? I'll definitely look into whether my state has free Social Security counseling - that sounds like a great resource that I hadn't thought of. It would be nice to talk to someone who isn't trying to sell me anything and has experience with these complex situations. Thanks for sharing that tip about benefits automatically recalculating at full retirement age too. This whole system is so complicated but everyone here has been incredibly helpful in explaining the details!
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Austin Leonard
As someone who works in retirement planning, I wanted to add a few practical tips for your SSA conversation. When you call, have all your documents ready: marriage certificate, divorce decree, your Social Security card, and your ex's SSN or at least his full legal name and date of birth if you have it. Ask specifically for a "benefit estimate comparison" - this will show you side by side what your own retirement benefit would be versus the divorced spouse benefit at different claiming ages (62, full retirement age, etc.). This helps you see the trade-offs clearly. One thing to keep in mind: if you're still working and earning income after claiming at 62, there's an earnings test that could reduce your benefits temporarily until you reach full retirement age. Make sure to discuss this if it applies to your situation. Also, consider that your ex claiming his benefits (or not) doesn't affect your ability to claim divorced spouse benefits as long as you meet all the other requirements. Your benefits are independent of his decision to file.
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Luca Russo
•This is exactly the kind of professional advice I was hoping to find! Thank you for laying out the practical steps so clearly. I definitely need to gather all those documents before I call - I think I have everything except I'm not 100% sure I have my ex's exact date of birth written down anywhere. I know the year but not the specific date, so I'll need to dig through some old papers. The "benefit estimate comparison" sounds perfect - that's exactly what I need to see the numbers side by side at different ages. And you're right about the earnings test - I am planning to work part-time after 62, so that's definitely something I need to factor in. It's reassuring to know that my ex's filing status doesn't affect my ability to claim divorced spouse benefits. I was worried there might be some timing issues there, but it sounds like I have more control over my own decision than I thought. Really appreciate the professional perspective - it's helping me feel much more prepared for this conversation with SSA!
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Elijah Jackson
One thing I'd recommend is creating a my.ssa.gov account if you don't already have one. While it won't show you your ex-husband's benefit information directly, it will give you a clear picture of your own estimated benefits at different claiming ages. This can be really helpful to have as a baseline when you're comparing with the divorced spouse benefit amounts that SSA calculates for you. Also, when you do get through to SSA, don't be afraid to ask them to repeat the numbers or explain their calculations. I've found that sometimes the first agent you talk to might not be as experienced with divorced spouse benefits, so if something doesn't sound right or if you're getting confusing information, it's totally okay to politely ask to speak with someone else or call back to get a second opinion. The key is getting accurate numbers so you can make the best decision for your financial future. Take notes during the call and ask them to mail you a written summary if possible - having everything documented will help you feel more confident about your choice.
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Axel Bourke
•Great advice about the my.ssa.gov account! I actually already have one and check it periodically, but you're absolutely right that having those baseline numbers will make the comparison much clearer when I talk to SSA about the divorced spouse benefits. I really appreciate the tip about not being afraid to ask for clarification or even a second opinion. I tend to be pretty passive on phone calls with government agencies, but this is such an important financial decision that I should definitely advocate for myself and make sure I understand everything completely. Getting a written summary is a fantastic idea too - I hadn't thought of that but it would give me something concrete to review and reference later. Thanks for the practical suggestions!
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Keisha Williams
I just went through this process myself about 6 months ago! I was so nervous about calling SSA but it turned out to be much easier than I expected once I actually got through to someone. A couple of things that really helped me: First, I called right at 8 AM when they opened - the wait times were much shorter in the morning. I also had my ex's full Social Security number which made the process go really smoothly, but they told me they could have found his record with just his full legal name and date of birth. The agent was able to tell me exactly what my divorced spouse benefit would be and compared it to my own benefit at different claiming ages. In my case, waiting until my full retirement age of 67 made a huge difference - the divorced spouse benefit at FRA was almost double what it would be at 62. One thing that surprised me was that they also explained how my benefit could potentially increase even more if my ex continues working and earning higher wages, since his benefit calculation would be updated. They really took the time to walk me through all the scenarios. Definitely have all your paperwork ready before you call, and don't hesitate to ask them to repeat the numbers or explain anything you don't understand. Good luck with your call!
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Yara Haddad
•Thank you so much for sharing your recent experience! It's incredibly helpful to hear from someone who just went through this exact process. The tip about calling right at 8 AM is brilliant - I never would have thought about timing it that way, but it makes perfect sense that wait times would be shorter first thing in the morning. It's really encouraging that your agent took the time to walk you through all the different scenarios and even explained how your benefits could increase if your ex keeps working. That level of detail gives me hope that I'll get good service too once I get through. The difference you mentioned between claiming at 62 versus full retirement age is exactly what I'm trying to figure out for my own situation. Almost double the benefit at FRA is a huge difference! That might be worth waiting for if I can manage it financially. I'm definitely going to follow your advice about having all my paperwork ready and calling first thing in the morning. Thanks for taking the time to share such detailed and practical advice!
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Ben Cooper
I wanted to share something that might help with getting through to SSA more easily. Some local SSA offices allow you to schedule phone appointments instead of just calling the main number. You can find your local office on the SSA website and see if they offer this service - it's been a game changer for me because you get a scheduled callback at a specific time instead of waiting on hold for hours. Also, just to reinforce what others have said - the SSA representatives really can give you all the information you need without you having to contact your ex-husband at all. They'll calculate your potential divorced spouse benefit and compare it to your own benefit. The key things they'll need are proof of your marriage and divorce (which you mentioned having) and either his SSN or his full legal name and date of birth. One last tip: when you do talk to them, ask specifically about the "restricted application" strategy if you're considering waiting until full retirement age. Depending on your birth year, there might be additional claiming strategies available to you that could maximize your total benefits over time.
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James Martinez
•This is such valuable information! I had no idea that local SSA offices might offer scheduled phone appointments - that sounds so much better than playing the waiting game with the main number. I'm definitely going to check if my local office has this option available. The tip about asking about "restricted application" strategy is really intriguing too. I was born in 1963, so I'm not sure if that affects what strategies might be available to me, but it's definitely worth asking about when I talk to them. It seems like there are so many nuances to Social Security that I never would have known to ask about without all the helpful advice from everyone here. I'm feeling much more prepared and confident about this whole process now thanks to everyone's shared experiences and practical tips. It's amazing how much easier this seems when you know what to expect and what questions to ask!
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Rosemary Shields
how do I find out my ex husbands ssa amount
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Victoria Stark
•Hi Rosemary! Just to add to what AstroAlpha said - I'm actually going through this exact same process right now. The key thing to understand is that SSA will calculate what YOUR divorced spousal benefit would be, not tell you his actual amount. When you call, make sure you're prepared with all your documents because they'll need to verify your eligibility first. The most important things are proving you were married for at least 10 years and that you're currently divorced. If you don't have his Social Security number, don't worry - they can usually find his record with his full legal name and date of birth. One thing I learned from reading everyone's advice here is to ask for a "benefit estimate comparison" so you can see side by side what your own retirement benefit would be versus the divorced spouse benefit at different claiming ages. This will help you figure out which option gives you more money. Good luck! It seems like once you actually get through to someone at SSA, they're pretty helpful with walking you through the whole process.
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AstroAlpha
Hi Rosemary! You're asking about the same thing as the original poster. The good news is you don't actually need to find out your ex-husband's exact SSA amount - what you need is to find out what YOUR divorced spouse benefit would be based on his record, which is different. Here's what you can do: 1. Call SSA directly (try calling right at 8 AM for shorter wait times) 2. Have ready: your marriage certificate, divorce decree, and your ex's Social Security number (or his full legal name and date of birth if you don't have his SSN) 3. Ask them to calculate your potential "divorced spouse benefit" and compare it to your own retirement benefit You need to have been married at least 10 years, be currently unmarried, and be at least 62 years old to qualify. SSA won't tell you his exact benefit amount, but they will tell you what YOUR benefit would be based on his earnings record - which is what you actually need to know for planning purposes. Some people mentioned using services like Claimyr to help get through to SSA faster, or checking if your local SSA office offers scheduled phone appointments instead of waiting on hold. Good luck!
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Paolo Conti
I'm in a very similar situation and have been researching this extensively! One additional resource that might help is contacting AARP's Social Security helpline if you're a member - they have specialists who can walk you through the divorced spouse benefit calculations and help you understand your options without the long SSA hold times. Also, I wanted to mention that even if your ex-husband hasn't filed for his benefits yet, as long as he's eligible (which at 64 he definitely is), you can still claim divorced spouse benefits under the "independently entitled" rule since you've been divorced for more than 2 years. This was a huge relief for me to learn since my ex is also still working and hasn't filed yet. One thing I found really helpful was creating a simple spreadsheet comparing the monthly amounts at different claiming ages (62, full retirement age, etc.) for both my own benefit and the estimated divorced spouse benefit. It made the decision much clearer when I could see the numbers side by side and calculate the breakeven points. The SSA representative can give you all the numbers you need to do this analysis. Best of luck with your call to SSA! From everything I've read here, it sounds like once you get through to someone knowledgeable, they're quite helpful with divorced spouse benefit questions.
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Giovanni Martello
•That's a great suggestion about AARP's Social Security helpline! I didn't know they offered that service for members. The spreadsheet idea is brilliant too - I'm definitely going to create one once I get the numbers from SSA. Being able to see the breakeven points will really help me make a more informed decision about when to claim. It's also reassuring to hear more confirmation about the "independently entitled" rule. I was worried that my ex still working might complicate things, but it sounds like that's actually pretty common and shouldn't be an issue as long as he's eligible (which he definitely is at his age). Thanks for sharing another practical approach to this whole process. Between all the advice here about timing the SSA call, having documents ready, asking for benefit comparisons, and now the spreadsheet analysis, I feel like I have a solid game plan. Really appreciate everyone taking the time to share their experiences and knowledge!
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Zara Khan
I wanted to add one more tip that really helped me when I went through this process - if you're feeling overwhelmed by all the information and options, consider writing down your top 3 questions before you call SSA. For example: 1) What would my divorced spouse benefit be at age 62 vs. full retirement age? 2) What would my own benefit be at those same ages? 3) If I claim at 62, what's the exact monthly difference between the two options? Having specific questions written down helped me stay focused during the call and made sure I didn't forget to ask about something important. The representatives seem to appreciate when you're prepared and know exactly what you need to find out. Also, don't feel bad about taking notes during the call or asking them to slow down if they're giving you a lot of numbers at once. This is a major financial decision and you have every right to make sure you understand everything completely before hanging up. I actually asked my representative to email me a summary, and while they couldn't do that, they did give me a reference number for my call so I could refer back to it if I needed to call again. Good luck with your call! It sounds like you have all the right documents and a solid plan for getting the information you need.
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Jamal Wilson
•This is such excellent advice! Writing down specific questions beforehand is definitely something I'm going to do. I tend to get nervous on important phone calls and sometimes forget what I wanted to ask. Having those key questions written out will help me stay organized and make sure I get all the information I need. I really appreciate the tip about taking notes and not feeling bad about asking them to slow down or repeat things. You're absolutely right that this is a major financial decision and I shouldn't feel rushed or embarrassed about making sure I understand everything completely. Getting a reference number is smart too - I hadn't thought about the possibility of needing to call back with follow-up questions. Thank you for sharing such practical and thoughtful advice. Between all the tips everyone has shared here, I feel so much more prepared and confident about this whole process. It's amazing how helpful this community has been!
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Dylan Baskin
I just wanted to say how helpful this entire thread has been! I'm in a similar situation - divorced after a long marriage and trying to figure out the best Social Security strategy. Reading everyone's experiences and advice has given me so much confidence about calling SSA. A few key takeaways I'm noting for my own call: - Call right at 8 AM for shorter wait times - Have all documents ready (marriage certificate, divorce decree, ex's info) - Ask specifically for a "benefit estimate comparison" - Write down specific questions beforehand - Don't be afraid to ask for clarification or take detailed notes It's so reassuring to hear from people who've successfully navigated this process. The fact that SSA can give you all the information you need without having to contact your ex is such a relief! Thank you to everyone who shared their experiences - this is exactly the kind of real-world advice that makes all the difference.
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Levi Parker
•I'm so glad this thread has been helpful for you too! It's been incredibly reassuring to read everyone's experiences and realize that this process, while complex, is definitely manageable with the right preparation. Your summary of key takeaways is perfect - that's exactly the roadmap I'm planning to follow as well. It's amazing how much more confident I feel about making this call now that I know what to expect and what questions to ask. The community support here has been wonderful. It's such a relief to know that so many people have successfully navigated this exact situation and are willing to share their knowledge. Best of luck with your own call to SSA - it sounds like you're well-prepared for it!
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Liam Fitzgerald
I just wanted to echo what everyone else has said - you absolutely do not need to contact your ex-husband to get this information! I went through this exact process about 2 years ago and SSA was very helpful once I got through to them. One thing I'd add that I don't think anyone mentioned - if you're having trouble finding your ex's Social Security number in your old documents, check any old tax returns you might have from when you were married. His SSN would be listed there if you filed jointly. I found mine on a 2010 tax return that I had stored away. Also, when you do get through to SSA, make sure to ask them about the "deemed filing" rules. At 62, if you apply for one benefit, you're automatically considered to be applying for any other benefits you're eligible for, and they'll give you the higher amount. This means you don't have to worry about choosing the "wrong" one - they'll calculate both and give you whichever is better. The whole process was much less stressful than I anticipated. Good luck!
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