dont u get paid for the month before? like january payment comes in february? thats what my neighbor told me and shes been on SS for years

Great question and perfect timing to be planning this out! I just went through this process myself earlier this year. The 3-month rule is definitely the sweet spot - so for January 2025 benefits, you'll want to apply in October 2024. One thing I learned that might help: when you're filling out the online application, pay close attention to the "Benefits Start Date" section. There's a clear dropdown where you select the month, and it will show you exactly when your first payment will arrive (remember, January benefits are paid in February). Since your wife is taking early retirement, make sure she's prepared for the earnings test if she plans to work at all in 2025. The online application will walk you through this, but it's good to know ahead of time. Also, don't stress too much about the applications being separate - you can both do them on the same day if you want, just using your individual MySocialSecurity accounts. The process is pretty straightforward once you get started. Good luck with your retirement!

I went through this last year. Called SSA after my husband filed, and they explained that because I filed at 63, my spousal benefit was reduced by about 13.3% from what it would have been if I'd waited until my FRA. The exact percentage depends on how many months early you filed. At 62, you're looking at around a 30% permanent reduction to whatever spousal benefits you qualify for. Definitely worth checking your MySocialSecurity account online - it should show your PIA there.

Don't beat yourself up too much about filing early - sometimes you need the money when you need it! I'm in a similar boat and found that calling SSA's automated phone line (1-800-772-1213) can actually give you some basic benefit information without waiting for a human. Press 0 to get to the menu, then you can request they mail you a detailed benefit statement that shows your PIA. It takes about 10 days but might save you the hassle of trying to get through to someone. Also, if your husband hasn't filed yet, you might want to run some scenarios on when he should file - if he can wait past his FRA, his benefits increase 8% per year until age 70, which would also increase your potential spousal benefit.

Regarding the timing - you mentioned you're 58½ now, so you have about 18 months before reaching that age 60 threshold. It might be worth explaining the situation to your girlfriend if the relationship is serious. Many people understand the importance of financial planning, especially when significant benefits are at stake. Also remember that survivor benefits can be claimed as early as age 60 (with a reduction), or you can wait until your Full Retirement Age for the full amount. This is another factor to consider in your overall planning.

As someone who works in financial planning, I'd strongly recommend getting an official benefit estimate from SSA before making this decision. You can create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov to see your projected benefits and potentially request a survivor benefit estimate. Given that you mentioned your late wife had a much stronger work record over 22 years, the financial impact of timing this decision could be substantial - potentially thousands of dollars per month difference. Also consider that if you do wait until 60 to remarry, you'll have more flexibility in your claiming strategy. You could potentially claim reduced survivor benefits at 60 and then switch to your own (possibly higher) retirement benefit later if that makes sense. Having actual numbers will help you make an informed decision and might make the conversation with your girlfriend easier - framing it as responsible financial planning rather than just delaying marriage.

To answer your follow-up question: When you file for your retirement benefits, there will be a section asking about your marital status. Make sure to provide your marriage information at that time. SSA doesn't automatically know your marital status unless you've provided that information previously. If you want to be extra certain, bring your marriage certificate when you apply for benefits or when visiting an SSA office. While it may not impact your current benefit situation (since it appears your husband won't qualify for a spousal supplement), having this information correctly recorded in the system will make future matters (like potential survivor benefits) much smoother.

Just wanted to add one more thing that might be helpful - when you do apply for your benefits next month, you can also ask SSA to run a benefit estimate for your husband's potential spousal benefits, even though it looks like he won't qualify based on the numbers you've shared. Sometimes there are quirks in the calculations or special circumstances that aren't immediately obvious. Plus, having that official calculation on file could be useful down the road. The worst they can say is "no additional benefits available" but at least you'll know for certain. Good luck with your application!

One more thought - since you're at your FRA already, you should look into whether you might qualify for SSI (Supplemental Security Income) if your current Social Security retirement benefit is very low. SSI can provide additional income for those with limited resources. The qualification rules are complicated, but it might be worth investigating. SSI is different from regular Social Security retirement benefits and has different eligibility requirements based on financial need rather than work history.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation - being just shy of 10 years is incredibly frustrating! While you unfortunately can't qualify for survivor benefits from your first husband's record, I wanted to mention one thing that might be worth double-checking. Sometimes people forget about common-law marriage periods that might count toward the 10-year requirement in certain states. If you lived together as married before your legal ceremony in a state that recognizes common-law marriage, those years could potentially count. It's a long shot, but might be worth asking SSA about if applicable to your situation. Also, make sure when you review your earnings record that they've credited you properly for any years you worked while married - sometimes spousal Social Security numbers get mixed up in their system and credits go to the wrong person.