I'm so sorry for your loss, Gael. Losing your husband at such a young age while caring for a disabled daughter must be incredibly overwhelming, especially when you're getting such confusing information from SSA. I went through a similar situation when my wife passed away, leaving me with our autistic son who was 28 at the time. The key thing I learned is that you absolutely ARE entitled to Child-in-Care benefits (not "mother's benefits" - the terminology matters!) as long as you're the primary caregiver for your disabled adult daughter. Here's what helped me cut through the confusion: 1. When you call, immediately ask for a "Technical Expert" and say you need help with "Child-in-Care survivor benefits for a parent caring for a disabled adult child" 2. Reference POMS RS 00615.742 specifically - this shows you know the rules and helps them find the right guidance 3. Your Child-in-Care benefits have ZERO asset limits - that's only for SSI 4. Apply immediately! Don't wait for perfect information. Survivor benefits can be retroactive up to 6 months, but every month you delay costs you money. The family maximum will likely be split between you and your daughter, but if you later work and your portion gets reduced, you can request redistribution to increase her share (most offices won't do this automatically, so you have to ask). Your daughter's SSI will decrease when she starts getting DAC benefits, but she'll keep Medicaid coverage, which is often more valuable than the cash payment anyway. Don't let them tell you that you don't qualify - I was initially denied until I got to someone who actually understood these rules. You've got this!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Gael. What you're going through sounds absolutely exhausting on top of an already heartbreaking situation. As someone new to this community, I've been reading through all the responses and am amazed by how much detailed, practical advice everyone has shared. It's both encouraging and deeply frustrating to see how common your experience is with getting contradictory information from SSA representatives. What strikes me most is how many specific details and terminology seem to matter so much in getting the right answers - things like using "Child-in-Care benefits" instead of "mother's benefits," knowing the exact POMS references, and understanding the difference between automatic redistribution and manual recomputation. It's honestly shocking that grieving families have to become experts in bureaucratic language just to access benefits they're entitled to. From everything I've read here, it sounds like you have a strong case for both your Child-in-Care benefits and your daughter's DAC benefits. The fact that you've already set up the special needs trust shows you're thinking strategically about protecting her long-term eligibility. I hope when you call with all the specific terminology and references people have shared, you're able to get through to a Technical Expert who can walk you through everything clearly and get both benefits set up properly. You shouldn't have to fight this hard during such a difficult time, but your persistence in advocating for your daughter is really admirable. Please keep us posted on how it goes - I'm sure your experience will help other families facing similar situations navigate this complex system.

This is such a complex situation, and I really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences and knowledge here. As someone who's dealt with similar Social Security questions for family members, I wanted to add that timing really is everything with these benefits. One thing I learned that might be helpful - when you do get that official written analysis from SSA that others have mentioned, make sure to ask them to run scenarios for different claiming ages. Since you're 58, you have several years to optimize your strategy. For example, if your own benefit would be significantly higher by waiting until age 70 due to delayed retirement credits, that might end up being your best option regardless of the survivor benefit limitations. Also, don't forget to factor in Medicare planning alongside your Social Security decisions. The interaction between when you claim benefits and when you need to enroll in Medicare can affect your overall retirement income strategy. The frustrating reality is that the remarriage before age 60 does limit your options with your ex-spouse's record, but it sounds like you have several other pathways to explore. Good luck with your planning!

I've been working in retirement planning for over 15 years and wanted to add some clarity to this discussion. The information you've received about the remarriage before 60 rule is absolutely correct - this is one of the most misunderstood aspects of Social Security. Since you remarried at age 58 (before 60), you've permanently forfeited any future claim to survivor benefits from your ex-husband, regardless of when either spouse dies or the order of their deaths. This is a hard rule with no exceptions. However, don't let this discourage your overall retirement planning! Here are some strategies to consider: 1. **Maximize your own benefit**: Since you're still working at 58, these are crucial years for boosting your Social Security calculation. Consider working until 70 if possible for the delayed retirement credits. 2. **Spousal benefits from current husband**: While he's alive, you may be eligible for spousal benefits up to 50% of his full retirement age benefit. 3. **Survivor benefits from current husband**: If he predeceases you, you'd be eligible for 100% of his benefit amount. 4. **File and suspend strategies**: Depending on your birth year and his, there may be claiming strategies that optimize your combined lifetime benefits. I'd strongly recommend getting a personalized Social Security statement and having SSA run projections for multiple scenarios. The rules are complex, but understanding all your options will help you make the best decisions for your situation.

This thread has been incredibly helpful! I'm dealing with a similar situation - worked in Australia for 8 years in the late 90s/early 2000s and lost all my paperwork in a flood a few years back. Reading through everyone's experiences, I'm realizing I have way more options than I thought. I still have my old passports with entry/exit stamps, and I just remembered I was part of a professional accounting association there. I'm going to start with gathering whatever documentation I can find and then make an appointment with SSA requesting someone who specializes in international cases. One question though - for those who have been through this process, did you find it helpful to organize all your evidence into a timeline or folder system before your SSA appointment? I want to make sure I present everything in the most helpful way possible.

Another resource that might be worth exploring - if you had any medical or dental care while working abroad, those records could serve as additional evidence of your presence and employment during those periods. I discovered this when going through my own totalization process for work in Canada. I had completely forgotten about a dental procedure I had in Toronto, but when I contacted the dental office (which amazingly was still in business), they had records going back to the 1990s showing my appointments and my employer's dental insurance information. It's not direct employment proof, but it's another piece of the puzzle that can help corroborate your timeline and show you were legitimately living and working in those countries. Medical records, prescription records, even veterinary records if you had pets - any official documentation that shows you were a resident rather than just a tourist can be valuable supporting evidence.

As someone who recently went through the SSA application process for ex-spouse benefits, I can confirm what everyone else has said - they absolutely use the final divorce decree date, not the filing date. Your marriage from June 2012 to April 2025 definitely meets the 10-year requirement! I had a similar experience with the phone system being impossible to navigate. What finally worked for me was calling at exactly 8:00 AM when they open - I got through in about 15 minutes instead of the usual hour+ hold times. Also, make sure you have your marriage certificate, divorce decree (certified copies), and your ex-spouse's Social Security number ready before you call. One thing that really helped me was asking the agent to put detailed notes in my file about our conversation and to mail me a written confirmation of my eligibility status. This saved me a lot of time when I actually filed for benefits later. The whole process seemed overwhelming at first, but once you get through to the right person, it's pretty straightforward. Your case sounds very clear-cut - you should have no issues qualifying!

I just wanted to add my experience as someone who went through this exact situation about 6 months ago. SSA definitely uses the final divorce decree date - I had a very similar timeline where my divorce took over 2 years to finalize due to court backlogs. The agent was very clear that as long as you were legally married for 10+ years ending with the finalized divorce, you qualify. Your June 2012 to April 2025 timeline absolutely meets the requirement! One tip that really helped me was calling SSA at exactly 7:00 AM (I'm on the West Coast, so that's when the lines open for me). I got through in under 20 minutes versus the nightmare hold times later in the day. Also, when you do get through, ask them to send you a written eligibility confirmation letter. Having that documentation made the actual filing process much smoother when I was ready to claim benefits. The whole thing seemed so complicated at first, but your case is very straightforward - you've got nothing to worry about!

Great to hear they're finally showing up! I'm a new SSA beneficiary (just started receiving benefits in late 2024) and wasn't sure what to expect for my first tax season. This thread has been really helpful in understanding the normal timeline and what to do if there are delays. I'll make sure to keep checking my MySocialSecurity account over the next few days. Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences!

Same situation here - just got my 2024 SSA-1099 online yesterday after checking daily for weeks! For anyone still waiting, I noticed mine appeared around 6 AM, so try checking early in the morning. The system seems to update overnight. Also wanted to mention that if you're using tax software like TurboTax or H&R Block, you can usually import the SSA-1099 data directly once it's available in your MySocialSecurity account, which saves time on manual entry. Glad to see others are finally getting theirs too!