Can I get CalWORKs without filing child support if father gives me cash under the table?

Technically u need 2 cooperate with child support for CalWORKs UNLESS you have 'good cause' not to. BUT just getting $ under the table isnt usually enough for good cause. Good cause is for DV situations, rape cases, adoption plans, or if support enforcement would harm the child. Your worker is gonna tell u that informal support isn't reliable and doesn't count as a reason.

Just to clarify what the previous commenter said - you DO have to cooperate with child support enforcement when applying for CalWORKs, but there are two important things to understand: 1. You can apply for a "good cause exemption" if pursuing child support would cause harm to you or your children. However, just receiving informal cash isn't typically considered good cause. Good cause usually involves domestic violence, risk of physical/emotional harm, rape/incest cases, or adoption proceedings. 2. If you don't qualify for good cause but still refuse to cooperate with child support, you can still get CalWORKs, BUT only your children will receive benefits. This is called a "sanction" - your portion of the grant (the adult portion) will be removed, but your kids can still receive their portion of Cash Aid. So you have options, but there are consequences to each choice.

THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS DESIGNED TO PUNISH PARENTS WHO TRY TO WORK THINGS OUT INDEPENDENTLY!!!!!! I went through this EXACT same thing. My ex was paying me $500/month and buying diapers and formula. As soon as child support got involved, he got SO MAD he completely stopped helping until they finally caught up with him 8 MONTHS LATER. By then he had switched jobs twice to avoid garnishment. The county doesn't care if you get LESS money as long as they can say they "enforced" child support. It's all about the county getting federal funding kickbacks for child support collections!!!!

Have you thought about talking to your childrens father about this? Maybe explain that you need the extra help from CalWORKS but don't want to mess up your arrangement. He might be willing to sign an affidavit or something about the support he provides? Idk if that works but worth asking your worker maybe

have you tried reaching your county worker to discuss your specific situation in detail? I had such a hard time getting through to anyone when I had questions about my child support situation. I found this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me through to a real person at the county office in like 10 minutes instead of waiting on hold forever. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/jzISHxCPLwE If you can talk to someone and explain your specific circumstances, they might be able to tell you what documentation would help your case or if there are any exceptions that might apply to you. At least you'd know exactly where you stand before making any decisions.

One more thing to consider: if you do decide to cooperate with child support and your children's father has inconsistent income or works for cash, they'll likely establish a minimum support order based on assumed income (often calculated as if he works full-time at minimum wage). It's also worth knowing that if you qualify for CalWORKs, your children will automatically qualify for Medi-Cal, and you may qualify for CalFresh (food stamps) and childcare assistance. These additional benefits might outweigh the potential issues with the child support requirement, even if you take the adult portion sanction.

Yes, if you take the adult portion sanction (meaning you don't cooperate with child support requirements), you can still receive childcare assistance through the CalWORKs program. The sanction only affects the cash grant portion that would be allocated to you as the adult - it doesn't impact auxiliary services like childcare assistance, Medi-Cal, or CalFresh eligibility. If you're planning to work, the childcare benefit is extremely valuable. It covers childcare costs while you're working or participating in approved Welfare-to-Work activities. Many parents find this benefit alone makes it worthwhile to apply for CalWORKs, even with the child support complications.

btw i forgot to mention, they'll make you fill out a form called CW 51 to claim good cause if thats the route u try to go. they give u 20 days to provide any evidence. just letting u know so ur prepared when u apply!

Just wanted to add my experience as someone who went through this exact situation last year. I was getting $350/month cash from my ex plus he'd buy groceries and clothes for our daughter. I was so scared to mess up our arrangement that I almost didn't apply for CalWORKs at all. I ended up talking to a legal aid attorney (free consultation) who explained that even if I took the adult sanction, my daughter would still get around $400/month in cash aid PLUS the medical coverage, food stamps, and childcare assistance. When I did the math, even without my adult portion, we were getting way more help than just the informal support from her dad. The funny thing is, her dad actually wasn't as upset as I thought he'd be when child support got involved. He said he understood I needed more help and the formal order gave him a clear amount to pay. Your situation might be different, but sometimes we worry more than we need to. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I'm in a really similar situation and this thread has been so helpful! I'm a single mom with a 4-year-old and my ex gives me around $300 cash monthly plus helps with daycare costs. I've been hesitant to apply for CalWORKs because I didn't want to mess up our informal arrangement, but reading about the adult portion sanction option and still being able to get childcare assistance, medical coverage, and food stamps for my daughter makes it seem worth it. One question - does anyone know if the county will try to collect back support from before the formal order was established? That's another thing I'm worried about since my ex has been helping informally for over a year now.

I've been through something very similar and wanted to share what I learned. When I applied for CalWORKs, I was honest with my worker about the informal support I was receiving from my child's father. While they still required me to cooperate with child support enforcement (since I didn't qualify for good cause), the worker actually helped me understand the timeline better. Here's what happened: I applied for CalWORKs in January, and it took about 3 months for DCSS to actually establish the formal support order and start any enforcement actions. During that time, my ex continued giving me the informal support as usual, so there wasn't an immediate disruption. When the formal order finally came through, it was actually for about the same amount he was already giving me informally. The key thing is that you can still apply for CalWORKs and receive benefits while the child support case is being processed. Don't let fear of what might happen keep you from getting help you need right now. And remember, even if you take the adult portion sanction, your kids still get their benefits plus you get access to childcare assistance, which could really help you increase your work hours and income overall.

I just wanted to add something that might be helpful - when you do apply, ask your worker about the "WTW" (Welfare-to-Work) activities. Even if you take the adult portion sanction, you can still participate in job training, education programs, or other approved activities that count toward your work requirements. These programs often come with additional support like transportation assistance and can really help boost your earning potential long-term. Also, don't forget that once you're in the CalWORKs system, you'll have access to other county services and resources that might not be obvious at first. Things like utility assistance programs, emergency food boxes, and even help with job placement. Sometimes the "hidden" benefits of being in the system are just as valuable as the cash aid itself. You're clearly a thoughtful parent who's trying to do right by your kids - that comes through in how carefully you're considering all the angles here. Whatever you decide, make sure to keep good records of everything (applications, payments, communications with workers) because it really helps if any issues come up later.

I went through this exact situation about 6 months ago and I wish someone had told me what I'm about to tell you - don't let the fear of "what if" keep you from getting help you and your kids need RIGHT NOW. I was getting about $450/month from my daughter's dad plus he'd help with school supplies and stuff. I was terrified to apply for CalWORKs because I thought it would ruin our good relationship. But you know what? My daughter needed healthcare, I needed childcare help to work more hours, and we qualified for food assistance that was putting an extra $300+ worth of groceries on our table every month. Here's what actually happened: I took the adult portion sanction (chose not to cooperate with child support) and my daughter still got her portion of cash aid. Plus we got Medi-Cal, CalFresh, and childcare assistance. When I calculated everything we were receiving vs. just the informal support, we were getting almost $800 more in total benefits per month. Yes, there's paperwork. Yes, you have to deal with county workers. But my daughter has healthcare now, I can afford to send her to daycare while I work, and we're not choosing between rent and groceries anymore. Sometimes you have to take the help that's available instead of waiting for the perfect situation that might never come. The system isn't perfect, but it's there for families exactly like yours. Don't let pride or fear keep your kids from getting what they're entitled to.

I'm new to this community but wanted to share my perspective as someone who's been helping families navigate these decisions for a while. Reading through this thread, I'm really impressed by how supportive everyone has been and how much practical information has been shared. One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is that you might want to consider applying for CalWORKs benefits NOW while you're still receiving the informal support, rather than waiting. Here's why: if you apply while you have this income coming in, it gets documented as part of your household income during the application process. This can actually work in your favor because it shows you're already receiving some support for your children, which can help establish that the father is willing and able to provide support when the formal order comes through. Also, something that might ease your mind - many parents find that having a formal child support order actually reduces conflict over time, not increases it. When everything is clear and official, there's less room for misunderstandings or feelings that one person is taking advantage of the other. The bottom line is that your kids deserve access to healthcare, nutritious food, and quality childcare regardless of how the adult relationships work out. You're being a great parent by exploring all your options and asking these questions. Whatever you decide, make sure you're making the choice based on what's truly best for your family's stability and wellbeing.

I'm new here but wanted to share my experience since I was in almost the exact same situation last year. I was getting about $350 cash monthly from my son's dad plus he'd help with clothes and school stuff. I was so worried about messing up our arrangement that I put off applying for CalWORKs for months while we struggled. When I finally applied, I was honest with my worker about the informal support. She explained that I could either try for a good cause exemption (which probably wouldn't work for my situation) or take the adult portion sanction and still get benefits for my son. I chose the sanction route. Here's what happened: My son got his portion of cash aid ($400+/month), we got Medi-Cal, CalFresh gave us about $250/month in food benefits, and I qualified for childcare assistance that let me work full-time. Even without my adult portion, we were getting way more total support than before. The best part? His dad wasn't as upset as I expected. The formal child support order ended up being close to what he was already giving me, and he said it actually made things clearer for him to know exactly what was expected. My advice: don't let fear keep you from getting help your kids need right now. The healthcare coverage alone has been a game changer for us. You can always document the informal payments you're getting now in case it helps during the process, but don't wait too long to apply. Your kids deserve all the support available to them.

As someone new to this community, I just want to say how incredibly helpful this whole thread has been! I'm in a very similar situation - single mom with a 4-year-old, receiving about $300 monthly in informal support from my ex, and I've been paralyzed by fear about applying for CalWORKs because I didn't want to disrupt our current arrangement. Reading everyone's real experiences here has completely changed my perspective. The breakdown of actual numbers showing total benefits vs. just informal support is eye-opening - it's clear that even with the adult portion sanction, the combined value of cash aid for kids, Medi-Cal, CalFresh, and childcare assistance far exceeds what most of us are getting informally. What really struck me is how many people said their exes were more understanding than expected, and that formal orders sometimes actually reduced conflict by making everything clear and predictable. I think I've been catastrophizing this situation instead of looking at it practically. My daughter needs healthcare coverage, I need childcare help to work more hours, and we could really use the food assistance. It sounds like the key is being honest with the worker about your situation and understanding all your options upfront. I'm definitely going to apply now - thank you all for sharing your experiences and helping newcomers like me navigate these difficult decisions!

As someone new to this community, I wanted to share my perspective after reading through all these incredibly helpful experiences. I'm currently in a similar situation with my 5-year-old - receiving about $375 monthly in informal support from her dad plus occasional help with clothes and groceries. What's really struck me reading everyone's stories is how the fear of disrupting the current arrangement can keep us from accessing benefits that would actually provide much more stability for our children. The math that several people have shared is pretty compelling - even with the adult portion sanction, the combination of children's cash aid, Medi-Cal, CalFresh, and childcare assistance adds up to significantly more support than most informal arrangements provide. I think what I've learned from this thread is that it's important to focus on what our kids need (healthcare, nutrition, quality childcare) rather than getting caught up in worst-case scenarios about how the adults might react. Several people mentioned their exes being more understanding than expected, and that formal orders sometimes actually improve communication by making expectations clear. For anyone else reading this who's in a similar situation, this community has shown me that you don't have to figure this out alone. There are real people here who've walked this path and can offer practical guidance. I'm definitely moving forward with my application now - thank you all for sharing your experiences so openly!

As someone new to this community, I just wanted to say thank you for creating such a supportive space where people can share their real experiences with these difficult decisions. I'm facing a very similar situation with my 2-year-old - getting about $300 monthly from her dad informally, plus he helps with diapers and daycare costs sometimes. Reading through everyone's stories has been incredibly eye-opening. What really stands out to me is how many people were surprised that their situation worked out better than they feared. The actual numbers people have shared (combining children's cash aid, Medi-Cal, CalFresh, and childcare assistance) show that even with the adult portion sanction, families are getting significantly more total support than most informal arrangements provide. I've been putting off applying because I was scared of disrupting what we have now, but this thread has helped me realize I'm prioritizing my comfort over my daughter's needs. She deserves healthcare coverage, and I need reliable childcare help to be able to work consistently. The informal arrangement, while well-intentioned, doesn't provide that security. For other newcomers reading this - document any informal support you're currently receiving (bank deposits, texts about payments, etc.) as it might be helpful during the application process. And remember that being a good parent sometimes means making difficult decisions that create temporary uncertainty in order to provide better long-term stability for our kids. I'm moving forward with my application this week!

As someone new to this community, I wanted to add my voice to this incredibly helpful discussion. I'm in a nearly identical situation - single mom with a 3-year-old, receiving about $350 monthly in informal support from my son's father, plus he occasionally helps with groceries and clothes. What's been really valuable about reading everyone's experiences here is understanding that the adult portion sanction isn't the "punishment" I thought it was - it's actually a viable option that still allows your children to receive substantial benefits. The breakdown several people have shared showing that even without the adult portion, families often receive $600-800+ in combined benefits (children's cash aid, Medi-Cal, CalFresh, childcare assistance) versus the $300-400 most of us get informally is really eye-opening. I've been hesitant to apply because I was afraid of creating conflict with my son's father, but reading how many people said their exes were actually more understanding than expected has given me courage. Plus, the healthcare coverage alone would be life-changing for us - we've been avoiding doctor visits because I can't afford them. For anyone else in this situation who's new to navigating these systems: document everything you can about your current informal arrangements, be honest with your worker about your specific circumstances, and remember that choosing temporary uncertainty to provide better long-term stability for your children is actually the brave parenting choice. I'm submitting my application this week!

As someone new to this community, I wanted to share my experience since I just went through this exact situation about 3 months ago. I'm a single mom with a 7-year-old, and I was getting around $325 monthly from my ex plus he'd help with school supplies and occasional grocery runs. I was terrified to apply for CalWORKs because I thought it would destroy our co-parenting relationship and leave us worse off financially. After reading through forums like this and talking to other parents, I finally decided to move forward with the application. Here's what actually happened: I was upfront with my worker about the informal support I was receiving. She explained that I could try for good cause (which didn't apply to my situation) or accept the adult portion sanction. I chose the sanction, and my daughter still receives her portion of cash aid ($385/month), plus we now have Medi-Cal, CalFresh ($275/month), and childcare assistance that lets me work full-time. The most surprising part? My ex was actually relieved when the formal child support order came through. He said it gave him clarity about his obligations and removed the awkwardness around money conversations. The order was set at about what he was already giving me anyway. My advice to anyone in this situation: don't let fear of change keep you from accessing benefits your children are entitled to. Document any informal payments you're receiving now, be honest during the application process, and remember that healthcare coverage and food security for your kids is worth navigating some temporary uncertainty. The total value of benefits we're receiving now far exceeds what we had before, and it's given us much more stability. You've got this!