Based on all the information shared so far, here's what I would recommend: 1. Contact SSA to get a precise calculation of your benefit amounts. Ask specifically about what your benefit would be without the ex-spouse portion, and whether you would qualify for any additional spousal benefits once your new husband files. 2. If the numbers confirm you'll permanently lose that $450/month with no way to recover it through spousal benefits on your new husband's record, you have a financial decision to make. 3. Options to consider: - Postpone marriage until your fiancé claims benefits (though based on the calculations, this may not help) - Proceed with marriage but understand the permanent financial impact - Explore whether other financial benefits of marriage might offset the SS reduction This is ultimately a personal decision balancing financial and emotional factors. Some couples in your situation choose alternative arrangements like a commitment ceremony without legal marriage to preserve benefits.

I'm a benefits counselor and want to add one more consideration that hasn't been fully addressed: survivor benefits. When you remarry, you're not just thinking about current spousal benefits - you're also potentially gaining access to survivor benefits from your new husband's record if he passes away first. Given that his benefit at age 70 will be $3,200/month, if you outlive him, you could potentially receive 100% of that amount as a survivor benefit (minus any reduction for your own benefit). This could be significantly more valuable long-term than the $450/month you're losing from your ex-spouse benefit. The survivor benefit calculation is different from spousal benefits - it's based on what he was actually receiving (including delayed retirement credits), not just his PIA. So while you might not gain anything from spousal benefits due to your own benefit amount, the survivor benefit could be substantial. This doesn't change the immediate financial impact, but it's an important factor in your overall financial planning as a couple. You might want to factor this into your decision-making process.

As someone who works in benefits administration, I wanted to add a few practical tips for your AFLAC claim process. Make sure you get all your medical documentation ready BEFORE you submit - doctor's notes stating you're unable to work, surgery date confirmation, and expected recovery timeline. AFLAC typically requires a "elimination period" (waiting period) before benefits start, usually 0-14 days depending on your policy. Also, if you have both accident and disability coverage through AFLAC, the accident policy might pay a lump sum for the surgery itself while the disability policy covers your lost wages during recovery. Don't assume one policy covers everything - read both carefully or call them to clarify which benefits apply to your situation.

I went through something similar with my shoulder surgery a couple years ago. One thing that really helped me was creating a detailed budget beforehand to see exactly how much income I'd need during recovery versus what AFLAC would actually pay out. Most AFLAC short-term disability policies only pay around 60-70% of your wages, and there's usually a weekly maximum benefit cap. Since you're working part-time at 20 hours/week, your AFLAC benefit might be lower than you expect. I'd also suggest asking your surgeon's office if they have a patient financial counselor - they often know about programs or payment plans that can help bridge any income gaps during your recovery period. The good news is that knee replacements really do have great outcomes these days, and most people are glad they did it once they're healed up!

Going back to your original questions: 1) If you stop working now, your SS benefit will be based on your highest 35 years of earnings. With 33 years of work history, you'd add 2 years of zeros to your calculation. This will lower your benefit some, but probably not drastically. 2) You can create a my Social Security account and use the retirement calculator to see exactly how different scenarios would affect your benefit amount. 3) When you file for benefits, you'll automatically receive either your own retirement benefit OR the spousal benefit (up to 50% of your husband's PIA), whichever is higher. 4) If your husband passes away, you'd be eligible for survivor benefits equal to 100% of his benefit amount (including any delayed retirement credits if he waited past FRA to claim). You absolutely can receive benefits based on your own record if that amount is higher than the spousal benefit. Your work history counts!

I'm in a similar situation and wanted to share what I learned from meeting with a local SSA office representative (after multiple failed phone attempts!). One thing that might help with your decision: if you do decide to work part-time, even earning just $10,000-15,000 per year would be much better than complete zeros in your earnings record. Every little bit helps when they're calculating your benefit based on those highest 35 years. Also, I discovered that the SSA website has a really helpful publication called "When To Start Receiving Retirement Benefits" (Publication No. 05-10147) that walks through scenarios similar to yours. It includes examples of how spousal benefits work and calculations for different claiming strategies. The key takeaway that gave me peace of mind: having your own work record gives you options and protection. Even if the spousal benefit ends up being higher, your own earnings record serves as a safety net and ensures you have retirement benefits in your own right. Good luck with whatever you decide - sounds like you've gotten some great advice here!

Wait I'm confused. If he's still working at 78 doesn't that mean he delayed taking SS past his full retirement age? If so wouldn't he be getting more than if he took it at regular retirement age? And does THAT affect what you'd get as a survivor?

This thread has been incredibly helpful! I want to add one more important point for anyone reading - make sure to keep good records of all your Social Security correspondence and benefit statements. When dealing with survivor benefits, having documentation of both spouses' earnings histories and benefit amounts can make the process much smoother. Also, if you're uncomfortable navigating this alone, many senior centers offer free assistance with Social Security matters, and some have volunteers who are trained to help with these applications. The peace of mind knowing you understand your benefits is worth the effort to get informed now rather than trying to figure it out during an already difficult time.

Reading through this thread as someone new to Social Security rules, I'm struck by how much conflicting information there is even among people who seem knowledgeable! It really highlights how complex the system is. @Philip Cowan, I think your decision to go with an in-person appointment is wise - it seems like getting consistent information over the phone is nearly impossible based on everyone's experiences here. One thing I noticed from the discussion is that several people mentioned the 2015 rule changes, but there seems to be disagreement about exactly what those changes affected. When you go to your appointment, it might be worth asking the representative to walk you through the specific current rules for child benefits versus spousal benefits, since those seem to be treated differently. Also, I'd suggest bringing a calculator or asking them to help you run the numbers on both scenarios - claiming now so your son can get benefits versus waiting until 70. The financial comparison over your lifetime might help make the decision clearer. Good luck with your appointment, and I really hope you'll share what you learn since this seems to be a situation many parents face!

As someone new to this community and Social Security benefits in general, I've been following this discussion with great interest since I'm likely to face similar decisions in the future. The range of experiences and advice shared here really illustrates how challenging it can be to get clear, consistent information about these important benefits. @Philip Cowan, I admire how thoughtfully you're approaching this decision - trying to balance maximizing your own retirement security while ensuring your son gets the support he's entitled to. That's exactly the kind of careful planning more people should be doing. What strikes me most from reading through everyone's responses is how much the rules seem to have changed over the years, particularly around 2015, and how even SSA representatives sometimes provide conflicting guidance. It makes me wonder if there should be clearer, more accessible resources for families navigating these situations. I'm really hoping your in-person appointment goes well and that you're able to get definitive answers. If you're comfortable sharing what you learn, I think it would be incredibly valuable for other parents who might find themselves in similar circumstances. The fact that this thread has generated so much discussion shows how common and confusing these situations can be. Best of luck with your appointment - looking forward to hearing how it goes!