One last thing - when you do apply for survivor benefits, bring both your marriage certificate AND your husband's death certificate to your appointment. If you're applying online, you'll need to upload both. Sometimes they also want to see your birth certificate to verify your age, so have that ready too.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Nolan. Going through this process while grieving is incredibly difficult. Just wanted to add that when you order your certified marriage certificate, make sure it's the "long form" or "certified copy" - not just a "short form" or "abstract." SSA is pretty specific about needing the full certified copy with all the original information and official seals. Also, if you're over 60 or disabled, you may be eligible for reduced survivor benefits before full retirement age, so don't wait if you need the income. The SSA has a survivors benefits calculator on their website that can give you an estimate of what you might receive. Take care of yourself during this process.

This is such a valuable thread for anyone dealing with Social Security earnings limits! I'm currently 63 and have been nervous about this exact scenario since I started benefits last year. Like Cole, I have some side income (freelance graphic design work) that I've been carefully tracking, but reading about the net vs. gross income distinction is really eye-opening. One thing I'd add for anyone in a similar boat - consider keeping a simple spreadsheet with monthly income tracking. I update mine every month with both my part-time job wages and freelance earnings, then calculate running totals so I can see exactly where I stand relative to the annual limit. It's helped me turn down a few projects when I was getting close to the threshold. Also, the fact that SSA gave Cole options for how to handle the repayment is really encouraging. I've heard so many horror stories about inflexible bureaucracy, but this shows they can be reasonable when you're upfront about the situation.

This whole thread has been incredibly educational! I'm 64 and just started collecting benefits this year while continuing to work part-time. Reading about Cole's eBay situation made me realize I need to be way more careful about tracking ALL my income sources, not just my main job. The point about net vs. gross income for self-employment is huge - I do some consulting work on the side and was definitely thinking about it wrong. And I love the idea of monthly spreadsheet tracking that GalacticGuru mentioned. That's so much smarter than trying to figure it all out at the end of the year. It's also really reassuring to see that SSA was willing to work with Cole on payment options when he was proactive about reporting. Shows that being upfront and calling early really does make a difference in how they handle these situations.

After reading through all this, I can see why this is confusing. Look at it this way: if your late husband's benefit would be around $2,500/month at his full retirement age, and your own benefit might only be $1,400/month, that's a $1,100 monthly difference - or $13,200 per year. Over 20+ years of retirement, that's a quarter million dollars at stake. No wonder people are telling you to wait. But this is also why talking to SSA directly is so important - those numbers I just made up might be completely different in your actual situation.

I went through this exact situation 8 years ago and chose to wait until 60 to remarry. Best financial decision I ever made! My late husband's survivor benefit is about $1,800/month, which is way more than I would have gotten on my own record or as a spouse. Here's what really helped me: I went to my local Social Security office in person (avoid the phone lines if possible) and asked them to run the numbers for all my options. They were actually very helpful once I got face-to-face with someone. Bring your late husband's death certificate, your marriage certificate, and your Social Security cards. Also, talk to your boyfriend about this openly. If he truly loves you, he'll understand that waiting makes financial sense for both of your futures. My husband (we married on my 60th birthday!) was completely supportive because he realized it meant more security for both of us in retirement. Six years might seem long, but it goes by faster than you think, and the peace of mind is worth it.

To answer your follow-up question - your wife claiming her own benefit early does NOT affect her survivor benefit. If you pass away, she would get your full benefit amount regardless of when she claimed her own benefit. This is why many financial advisors recommend the hybrid strategy for couples with significant benefit disparities. Given your numbers, if she claimed at her FRA (probably around $1,230/month based on what you shared), you'd get some SS income flowing while still maximizing your benefit (and her eventual survivor benefit). Just make sure she's at least at her own FRA to avoid any potential reduction from the earnings test if she's still working.

As someone who recently went through this same decision process, I'd strongly recommend creating a simple spreadsheet to model both scenarios with your actual numbers. Include factors like potential tax implications, investment returns on the early money, and don't forget about Medicare premiums potentially increasing with higher income later. The hybrid approach mentioned by others is brilliant - having your wife claim at her FRA while you delay gives you the best of both worlds. You get some immediate cash flow for those home accessibility improvements and European trip, while still maximizing the survivor benefit protection. One thing I wish I'd considered earlier: inflation protection. That guaranteed 8% annual increase by waiting isn't just about the raw dollars - it's also building in better inflation protection for both of you long-term. With your strong longevity genes, that could be worth hundreds of thousands over your lifetimes. The peace of mind factor is real too. Knowing you've optimized for the surviving spouse (likely your wife given typical gender longevity differences) can be worth a lot psychologically, even if the pure math is close.

One final point that might be helpful for your planning: Since your wife doesn't have her own work record, you might want to maximize your own Social Security earnings base. This would mean trying to have your highest 35 years of earnings be as high as possible, since that's what your potential survivor benefits would be based on. Additionally, if you're looking at overall family financial security, consider whether your wife might return to work part-time when the children are older. Even earning just 40 credits (which can be done with 10 years of even part-time work) would provide her with her own retirement benefit and create potential survivor benefits.

This is such an important discussion that highlights a real gap in our social safety net. As someone who works in financial planning, I see this situation frequently. One thing I'd add is that you might want to look into whether your state has any additional survivor benefit programs or whether your employer offers any survivor benefits through group life insurance that could help fill this gap. Also, since your wife has 12 credits from her previous work, she's actually closer to qualifying than many people realize. If she does decide to return to work part-time, she'd only need 28 more credits (about 7 years of earning at least the minimum required - which in 2024 is just $1,730 per quarter). Even working 15-20 hours a week at minimum wage could get her there over time. The key is understanding that Social Security was designed as a foundation, not a complete safety net. Private life insurance and other planning tools become even more critical for families with stay-at-home parents.