also idk if this helps but my mom told me grandma eventually got on a subsidized housing list and that helped her a lot with expenses. the wait was like 2 years tho so maybe apply now even if ur not sure?

I'm really sorry you're going through this - the 10-year marriage rule is unfortunately one of the strictest requirements in Social Security law with no exceptions or hardship provisions. Your ex-husband deliberately timing the divorce is sadly more common than people realize. However, I'd strongly encourage you to pursue the worker misclassification issue aggressively. If you were truly functioning as an employee (set schedule, using their equipment, following their procedures), you may have been illegally misclassified. While Form SS-8 typically only allows corrections going back 3 years, there can be exceptions in cases of employer fraud or willful misclassification. You might also want to consult with an employment attorney who handles wage theft cases - some take these on contingency if there's a strong case against your former employer. They could potentially help you recover not just the Social Security credits, but also the employer portion of payroll taxes that should have been paid on your behalf. Additionally, contact your state's Department of Labor - they often have programs to help workers who've been misclassified recover what they're owed. This could potentially impact more than just the recent 3 years if there's evidence of systematic misclassification.

Thanks everyone for the helpful advice! I called our tax accountant this morning and ran the numbers. Taking the lump sum now would push us into a higher tax bracket this year since we're both still working. We'd end up paying about 32% of that lump sum in additional federal and state taxes. We've decided to stick with the original plan of starting benefits in January when he's fully retired. Our tax rate will be lower then, and we don't need the money urgently right now. The difference in taxes makes waiting worth it for our specific situation. I really appreciate all the insights about the FRA rules, retroactive benefits, and earnings limits. This forum has been incredibly helpful!

Great decision! It sounds like you really did your homework on this one. The tax implications can be huge when you're both still working - 32% is a significant bite out of that lump sum. For anyone else reading this thread who might be in a similar situation, Dylan's approach is exactly right - run the actual numbers with a tax professional rather than just assuming the lump sum is always better. The "free money" argument only works if you're not giving a huge chunk back in taxes. Your timeline makes perfect sense too. Starting benefits in January when you're both retired will likely put you in a much more favorable tax situation for the Social Security income going forward. Plus you avoid any potential IRMAA issues that Miguel mentioned earlier. Thanks for following up with your decision - it's really helpful for future readers to see how this played out!

Thank you all so much for this helpful information! I feel much better prepared for his upcoming birthday now. I'm going to: 1) Make sure both the SSI and the Childhood Disability Benefits applications are being processed, 2) Create a rental agreement to avoid the one-third reduction rule, 3) Look into ABLE accounts for his savings, and 4) Use Claimyr to actually get through to SSA and confirm all of this information. This has been incredibly helpful!

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I admire how you're navigating all these complex benefits while caring for your son. I went through something similar when my brother became disabled at 17. One thing I learned that might help - when you create that rental agreement that StarSailor mentioned, make sure to document everything properly. We had to provide bank statements showing the rent payments were actually being made from his SSI account to mine. Also, regarding the timing - don't wait until after his 18th birthday to set this up. You can create the agreement to begin on his 18th birthday, which shows SSA it's a legitimate arrangement rather than something you're doing just to avoid the reduction. The SSA rep should be able to walk you through exactly what documentation they need. You're doing an amazing job advocating for your son during such a difficult time.

Thank you all for the incredibly helpful responses. This clarifies things tremendously. Just to make sure I have this straight: 1) WEP goes away for survivor benefits, so my wife would be eligible for my full non-WEP Social Security amount. 2) She would get either her own benefit OR my non-WEP benefit, whichever is higher. 3) This is in addition to the teacher's pension continuation I've arranged. This makes our financial future much more secure than I thought. Really appreciate everyone's insights!

You've got it exactly right, Freya! Your summary is spot-on. As someone who's been helping folks navigate these waters for years, I can confirm that WEP truly does disappear for survivor benefits - it's one of the few silver linings in an otherwise frustrating system. Your wife will indeed be in a much better financial position than you might have originally planned for. One small additional note: when she becomes eligible, she should apply promptly as survivor benefits don't automatically start. And definitely keep a copy of your most recent Social Security statement showing both the WEP-reduced and non-WEP amounts for your records. It sounds like you've done great planning with the 100% pension continuation too. Your wife will be well taken care of!

PSA: If you're changing your name, don't forget to update your voter registration too! It's easy to overlook but important for avoiding issues at the polls.

Another thing to keep in mind - if you're doing a legal name change (not marriage-related), some SSA offices might ask for additional documentation like proof of why you're changing your name. I had to bring a letter from my lawyer explaining the circumstances. Also, if you have any accounts or benefits with SSA, make sure to ask them how the name change will affect those. The whole process took me about 30 minutes once I was in the office, but having all the right paperwork made all the difference!