Based on all the information shared so far, here's what I would recommend: 1. Contact SSA to get a precise calculation of your benefit amounts. Ask specifically about what your benefit would be without the ex-spouse portion, and whether you would qualify for any additional spousal benefits once your new husband files. 2. If the numbers confirm you'll permanently lose that $450/month with no way to recover it through spousal benefits on your new husband's record, you have a financial decision to make. 3. Options to consider: - Postpone marriage until your fiancé claims benefits (though based on the calculations, this may not help) - Proceed with marriage but understand the permanent financial impact - Explore whether other financial benefits of marriage might offset the SS reduction This is ultimately a personal decision balancing financial and emotional factors. Some couples in your situation choose alternative arrangements like a commitment ceremony without legal marriage to preserve benefits.

I'm a benefits counselor and want to add one more consideration that hasn't been fully addressed: survivor benefits. When you remarry, you're not just thinking about current spousal benefits - you're also potentially gaining access to survivor benefits from your new husband's record if he passes away first. Given that his benefit at age 70 will be $3,200/month, if you outlive him, you could potentially receive 100% of that amount as a survivor benefit (minus any reduction for your own benefit). This could be significantly more valuable long-term than the $450/month you're losing from your ex-spouse benefit. The survivor benefit calculation is different from spousal benefits - it's based on what he was actually receiving (including delayed retirement credits), not just his PIA. So while you might not gain anything from spousal benefits due to your own benefit amount, the survivor benefit could be substantial. This doesn't change the immediate financial impact, but it's an important factor in your overall financial planning as a couple. You might want to factor this into your decision-making process.

Going back to your original questions: 1) If you stop working now, your SS benefit will be based on your highest 35 years of earnings. With 33 years of work history, you'd add 2 years of zeros to your calculation. This will lower your benefit some, but probably not drastically. 2) You can create a my Social Security account and use the retirement calculator to see exactly how different scenarios would affect your benefit amount. 3) When you file for benefits, you'll automatically receive either your own retirement benefit OR the spousal benefit (up to 50% of your husband's PIA), whichever is higher. 4) If your husband passes away, you'd be eligible for survivor benefits equal to 100% of his benefit amount (including any delayed retirement credits if he waited past FRA to claim). You absolutely can receive benefits based on your own record if that amount is higher than the spousal benefit. Your work history counts!

I'm in a similar situation and wanted to share what I learned from meeting with a local SSA office representative (after multiple failed phone attempts!). One thing that might help with your decision: if you do decide to work part-time, even earning just $10,000-15,000 per year would be much better than complete zeros in your earnings record. Every little bit helps when they're calculating your benefit based on those highest 35 years. Also, I discovered that the SSA website has a really helpful publication called "When To Start Receiving Retirement Benefits" (Publication No. 05-10147) that walks through scenarios similar to yours. It includes examples of how spousal benefits work and calculations for different claiming strategies. The key takeaway that gave me peace of mind: having your own work record gives you options and protection. Even if the spousal benefit ends up being higher, your own earnings record serves as a safety net and ensures you have retirement benefits in your own right. Good luck with whatever you decide - sounds like you've gotten some great advice here!

Wait I'm confused. If he's still working at 78 doesn't that mean he delayed taking SS past his full retirement age? If so wouldn't he be getting more than if he took it at regular retirement age? And does THAT affect what you'd get as a survivor?

This thread has been incredibly helpful! I want to add one more important point for anyone reading - make sure to keep good records of all your Social Security correspondence and benefit statements. When dealing with survivor benefits, having documentation of both spouses' earnings histories and benefit amounts can make the process much smoother. Also, if you're uncomfortable navigating this alone, many senior centers offer free assistance with Social Security matters, and some have volunteers who are trained to help with these applications. The peace of mind knowing you understand your benefits is worth the effort to get informed now rather than trying to figure it out during an already difficult time.

My friend was in a similar situation with an overseas pension from Canada and SS made him fill out some special form about it. I think they had to do some calculation with the exchange rate or something. Might want to ask specifically about that.

I'm a newcomer here but wanted to share what I've learned from my own research on this topic. For your New Zealand KiwiSaver question (#3), you're right to ask about this specifically. The SSA does have special procedures for foreign pensions and retirement accounts. From what I understand, they typically want documentation showing the nature of the account (whether it's government-sponsored, employer-contributed, etc.) and may require you to provide statements or other proof of the account balance and withdrawal amounts. The key is that like domestic retirement accounts, distributions from KiwiSaver shouldn't count as "earned income" for Social Security earnings test purposes. However, there could be complexity around how the SSA views the employer contribution portion versus your own contributions, especially since KiwiSaver has that mandatory employer contribution component. I'd definitely recommend having documentation ready about the account structure when you speak with SSA directly. Also, don't forget to check if there are any tax treaty implications between the US and New Zealand for those distributions - that's separate from the SSA rules but still important for your overall planning.

After reading through all these comments, I want to clarify: The most accurate approach is to contact SSA directly for your specific situation. The rules around dependent benefits are complex and have changed over the years. What was true pre-2015 is different now, and what works for one family might not apply to another based on various factors including age, disability status, and family composition. Document everything when you speak with them, including the name of the representative, date and time, and what you were told.

Good luck with your appointment next week! I hope they can give you clear answers. This thread really shows how confusing Social Security rules can be - even people who think they know the system are giving conflicting advice. It's frustrating that something so important is so hard to get straight information about. Please do update us when you find out what your actual options are. There are probably other parents in similar situations who could benefit from knowing what you learn. Fingers crossed the in-person visit goes better than the phone calls!