I'm so sorry to hear about this situation with your mother's benefits. This is unfortunately incredibly common - I work as a social worker with seniors and see families discover missed survivor benefits all the time, sometimes years after the fact. A few additional things to consider for your appointment preparation: 1. If your mother has any hearing difficulties or gets overwhelmed easily in official settings, mention this upfront as it could support the "good cause" argument for late filing. 2. Consider bringing a trusted family member or friend as a witness to the appointment - having someone else hear the same information can be helpful if you need to reference the conversation later. 3. Ask specifically about "deemed filing" - sometimes when someone applies for survivor benefits, SSA can treat it as if they applied for all benefits they might be eligible for, which could potentially help with timing. 4. If your father had any periods where he delayed filing for his own Social Security (past his full retirement age), this could actually increase the survivor benefit amount your mother is entitled to, so mention his filing history if you know it. The fact that you're being so proactive and thorough in preparing for this appointment gives me hope that you'll get a positive outcome. Your mother is lucky to have such a dedicated advocate. Wishing you both the best of luck on Tuesday!

I'm a retired SSA employee and wanted to add something that might help with your Tuesday appointment. When you establish that protective filing date tomorrow, ask the representative to make a notation in your mother's record about the specific circumstances - that she was never informed about survivor benefits and continued receiving only her own benefit for three years. Also, bring documentation of your mother's current monthly expenses if you have it (utility bills, medical costs, etc.). While not required, showing the financial hardship caused by the delayed benefits can sometimes help with good cause determinations. One thing many people don't know is that survivor benefits can sometimes be higher than 100% of the deceased spouse's benefit if the deceased spouse had delayed retirement credits. Since your father was working past full retirement age, this could mean your mother is entitled to even more than his $2,850 monthly amount. Don't get discouraged if the first person you speak with seems unsure about the good cause provisions - ask to speak with a claims specialist or supervisor. The rules around late filing exceptions can be complex, and not all front-line staff are familiar with every provision. Your thorough preparation and advocacy will make a huge difference. Good luck on Tuesday!

As a newcomer to this community, I wanted to share some additional considerations that might help during this transition. My 26-year-old disabled son went through a very similar change last year when I started collecting Social Security at full retirement age. One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet is the importance of understanding how retroactive benefits work during this transition. In our case, there was about a 3-month processing delay between when my Social Security started and when his benefits were officially switched from SSI to DAC. During that time, he continued receiving SSI, but then SSA had to do a retroactive adjustment that created some temporary financial complications. Make sure you understand how any retroactive payments or overpayments will be handled. Also, regarding work incentives, while he loses SSI work incentives, don't overlook that DAC benefits have their own work rules. If your son's earnings ever exceed what's called "substantial gainful activity" (SGA), his DAC benefits could be suspended, but there are trial work periods and other protections. It's different from SSI work incentives but still important to understand. I'd also recommend asking SSA specifically about "Medicare Secondary Payer" rules once he gets Medicare. If he has any other insurance coverage (through work, or if you add him to a family plan during the waiting period), understanding how Medicare coordinates with other insurance can save money and prevent coverage gaps. The asset limit relief is wonderful, but don't forget that gift and inheritance rules still matter for other potential benefits. Keep good records of any financial gifts from family members - while they won't affect his Social Security benefits, they could matter for other programs down the road. This community has been such a lifeline for our family - thank you all for sharing your experiences!

As a newcomer to this community, I wanted to add some insights about protecting yourself during this transition that I learned the hard way. When my 24-year-old disabled son went through the exact same change (SSI to DAC benefits when my husband started collecting), we made the mistake of assuming all the changes would happen simultaneously and smoothly. Here's what I wish someone had told me: get EVERYTHING in writing before, during, and after the transition. We had three different SSA representatives tell us three different things about his Medicaid eligibility, and without written documentation, it was nearly impossible to resolve the conflicting information. Also, I'd strongly recommend setting up a separate "transition fund" if possible, even with the asset limits. We ended up with unexpected medical bills during the coverage gap that we weren't prepared for. Having some emergency funds set aside specifically for this transition period was crucial. One thing that really helped us was contacting our state's Disability Rights organization early in the process. They walked us through appeal rights we didn't even know existed and helped us understand which benefits changes we could challenge versus which were automatic. The asset limit freedom is real and wonderful, but as everyone here has said, keep those financial protections! The ABLE account has been especially valuable for managing his ongoing therapy and equipment costs with tax advantages we never had before. Don't let anyone rush you through this process - take time to understand each change and document everything. You're doing great by asking these questions upfront!

I'm so sorry for your loss, Nia. This thread has covered the earnings limit really well, but I wanted to add one more consideration that might help with your planning. Since you mentioned you're 62 and about 5 years from FRA (so FRA at 67), you might want to look into whether your own retirement benefit at age 70 would be higher than your survivor benefit. If your own benefit would be significantly higher, you could potentially use a "claim and switch" strategy: 1. Claim reduced survivor benefits now (even with the earnings test reducing them) 2. Let your own retirement benefit grow with delayed retirement credits until age 70 3. Switch to your own higher benefit at 70 This only works if your own benefit at 70 would exceed the survivor benefit, but it's worth checking. Your own benefit grows by about 8% per year from FRA to age 70, so it can get quite substantial. Given your rental income providing some financial cushion, you have more options than many people. The online benefit estimator others mentioned will show both your survivor benefit and your own retirement benefit projections, which will help you see if this strategy makes sense for your situation.

Nia, I'm so sorry for your loss. This is such a challenging decision to make during an already difficult time. I've been following this thread and wanted to add one more piece that might help your planning. Since you mentioned considering reducing your work hours, you should know that the earnings test is based on your actual earnings for the year, not your salary or hourly rate. This means if you file for survivor benefits mid-year and then reduce your hours, only your earnings from the point you start receiving benefits matter for that first year. For example, if you filed for survivor benefits in July and then worked part-time earning $10,000 for the rest of the year, that $10,000 would be well under the limit even though your full-year earnings might have been higher. This could give you a smoother transition period to adjust your work situation. Also, I noticed several people mentioned the complexity of getting through to SSA. While waiting for an appointment, you might consider reaching out to your local AARP chapter if there's one nearby. They often have volunteers who are very knowledgeable about Social Security and can help you think through the scenarios without the wait times. Take your time with this decision - there's no rush, and having all the information will help you make the choice that's best for your specific situation.

One important point to add: even if you claim benefits on your first ex-spouse's record, it does NOT reduce their benefits or impact them in any way. Some people worry about this aspect, but your claim has zero effect on what your ex receives. Also, your ex doesn't need to be receiving benefits yet for you to claim on their record, though they must be eligible for benefits (i.e., be at least 62).

As someone who works in retirement planning, I want to emphasize a few critical points that haven't been fully addressed yet. First, make sure you understand the "deemed filing" rules - if you were born before 1954, you have more flexibility to claim spousal benefits first and switch to your own later. If born after 1954, you're generally stuck with whichever benefit you file for first until full retirement age. Second, consider that your current spouse's future earning potential might significantly impact the math - 8 more years of high earnings could potentially make their record more valuable than your first ex's. Third, there are potential impacts on survivor benefits to consider - if something happened to either spouse, which scenario leaves you better protected? The "strategic divorce" might make sense financially, but run detailed projections comparing all scenarios before making this major life decision.

I'm 58 and going through a divorce right now after 16 years of marriage. This whole thread has been absolutely eye-opening! I had NO IDEA that ex-spouse benefits were even a thing. My lawyer never mentioned it, and obviously SSA isn't going to tell me about it based on everything I'm reading here. It's honestly shocking how many people are finding out about these benefits completely by accident. The system seems deliberately designed to keep people in the dark so they don't claim money they're legally entitled to. That's just wrong. I'm definitely bookmarking this thread for when I turn 62 in a few years. The practical tips about calling at 7 AM and having all documents ready are incredibly valuable. It sounds like I'll need my divorce decree (when it's finalized), marriage certificate, and hopefully my ex's SSN if I can find it somewhere. One question for those who've been through this - do you think it's worth mentioning ex-spouse benefits to my divorce attorney? I'm wondering if there's anything that should be included in the divorce paperwork to make the SSA application process easier down the road, or if the standard divorce decree is sufficient. Thanks to everyone for sharing your real experiences. This community is doing what the government should be doing - actually informing people about their rights!

This thread has been absolutely incredible - thank you to everyone sharing their real experiences! I'm 65 and divorced after 11 years of marriage back in 2019. Like so many others here, I had absolutely no clue these ex-spouse benefits existed until reading this discussion. What really bothers me is how this seems like such a systematic failure. Person after person discovering benefits by pure accident, while who knows how many thousands are missing out on significant monthly payments just because nobody told them. It honestly feels like SSA is hoping people won't find out so they save money. I'm definitely going to apply using all the great tips shared here - the 7 AM calling strategy, having all documents ready, etc. One thing I'm curious about though - for those who successfully applied, roughly how long did it take from your first call to actually receiving your first payment? I'm trying to plan my timeline and budget accordingly. Also, has anyone had experience with SSA asking for additional documentation beyond the standard divorce decree and marriage certificate? I want to make sure I'm fully prepared before making that 7 AM call! Thanks again to this amazing community for sharing information that should honestly be provided by SSA itself. You're all doing such important work helping people access benefits they're legally entitled to!