As someone who went through this exact same confusing situation with my adult son who has disabilities, I completely understand your frustration! The terminology SSA uses is incredibly unclear, and even their own staff sometimes gives conflicting information. Here's what helped me finally understand it: the "half support" question is about establishing your son's dependency status for SSA's internal purposes - it's completely separate from the In-Kind Support and Maintenance (ISM) rules that might reduce his monthly payment. When calculating "half support," include EVERYTHING you provide: rent, food, utilities, medical copays, clothing, phone bill, transportation, entertainment, personal care items - literally every expense you cover for him. Then compare that total to his overall monthly needs (including the value of benefits like Medicaid, SNAP, etc.). The ISM rules that can reduce his SSI payment are much more limited - they only apply to food and shelter you provide directly. So you could easily be providing more than half his total support while his SSI payment remains unchanged, because most of what you're contributing (medical, clothing, phone, etc.) doesn't trigger ISM reductions. My advice: be completely honest about all the support you provide when answering their questions. The system is designed to work with families who help their disabled adult children - you're not doing anything wrong by supporting him! Keep records of what you pay for, and don't hesitate to ask for clarification if the caseworker's explanations don't make sense.

I just went through this same situation with my brother who has cerebral palsy, and I remember feeling so overwhelmed by all the different forms and questions! What really helped me was understanding that SSA is essentially asking two completely different questions that sound similar but serve different purposes. The "half support" question is about dependency classification - they want to know if you're providing more than 50% of his total life expenses (rent, food, medical, clothing, phone, entertainment, transportation, etc.). This information goes into their system for various administrative determinations. The ISM (In-Kind Support and Maintenance) rules that can actually reduce his monthly SSI payment are much more narrow - they only care about food and shelter you provide directly to him. Things like paying his medical copays, buying clothes, covering his phone bill, or paying for recreation don't reduce his SSI at all. So you could absolutely be providing more than half his support while his SSI payment stays the same! Most family support (everything except direct food/housing payments) counts toward the "half support" calculation but doesn't trigger payment reductions. When I called SSA, I had a simple list ready: everything I pay for my brother monthly and approximate amounts. Being organized and honest about all the support made the conversation much smoother. The caseworker was actually helpful once I had concrete information ready. Good luck with your call!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this stressful situation. Reading through all these responses has been incredibly educational for me too, as I may face something similar with my elderly parents soon. Based on everything shared here, it sounds like you have a solid action plan: getting that elder law attorney consultation, trying Claimyr to reach SSA, and gathering all your financial documentation for the Medicaid application. One thing I wanted to add that might be helpful - when you're organizing all those expense documents everyone mentioned, don't forget to include things like prescription costs, medical equipment, and any ongoing healthcare expenses you have. These can sometimes be factored into the calculations for how much income you're allowed to keep. Also, I've heard that some elder law attorneys offer free initial consultations for these types of cases, so if cost is a concern, it might be worth calling around to a few different firms. The investment in professional guidance seems like it could potentially save thousands in the long run based on what others have shared here. You're clearly a strong advocate for both yourself and your husband, and you're asking all the right questions. This community has provided such valuable insights - please do keep us updated on how your consultation goes. Wishing you the very best outcome!

I'm so sorry you're going through this difficult situation. My grandfather went through something very similar when he had to enter a nursing home for dementia care. Based on what everyone has shared here, it sounds like you're on the right track with getting that elder law attorney consultation and trying to reach SSA through Claimyr. One thing I learned from our experience that might be helpful - when you meet with the attorney on Thursday, ask them about the timing of your Medicaid application versus when your husband's Social Security gets redirected to the nursing home. In our case, there was about a 2-month gap where we were still receiving grandpa's full SS check while the Medicaid paperwork was being processed, and we had to be very careful about how that money was handled during that transition period. Also, make sure to ask the attorney about any spend-down requirements for your assets. Even with the spousal resource allowance protections, there might be strategic ways to position your finances before the Medicaid approval goes through. This whole process is so complex and emotionally draining, but it sounds like you're doing everything right by getting professional help and asking these important questions early. The fact that this community has been able to provide so much detailed guidance shows there really are protections available - you just have to know how to access them. Sending you strength for your upcoming meetings!

As someone who's new to this community and just beginning to understand Medicare programs, this entire discussion has been absolutely invaluable! What really strikes me is how everyone came together to transform a potentially dangerous situation into a comprehensive fraud prevention education. The systematic approach taken here - from identifying specific red flags like the non-.gov website and banking information requests to providing concrete verification steps - gives newcomers like me a clear framework for protecting elderly family members from these sophisticated scams. I'm particularly grateful for the professional insights shared about how legitimate government agencies operate versus how scammers try to mimic official communications. Learning that real agencies already have our information and wouldn't request sensitive details through unsolicited mail is such a crucial point that I'll definitely remember. The emphasis on trusting initial instincts when something feels "off" combined with methodical verification through official channels is advice I'm already planning to share with my elderly relatives. It's concerning how these fraudsters specifically target seniors by exploiting the complexity of benefit programs, but this thread proves how powerful community knowledge can be in providing protection. Thank you to everyone who shared their expertise and experiences - this conversation should be required reading for anyone helping elderly family members navigate Medicare-related correspondence!

As someone completely new to navigating Medicare systems and helping elderly family members with government correspondence, this entire thread has been an absolute masterclass in fraud prevention! What amazes me most is how the community's collective expertise transformed what started as one person's legitimate concern into such a comprehensive educational resource. The systematic way everyone identified the red flags - from the non-.gov website to requests for full SSN and banking information - gives newcomers like me a clear checklist to use when evaluating suspicious mail. I had no idea that legitimate MSP outreach exists but follows very specific protocols through proper state Medicaid channels, making the verification steps shared here even more crucial. What really resonates with me is the emphasis on trusting those initial "something doesn't feel right" instincts while also having concrete verification methods: using only official government phone numbers, checking for proper letterhead and form numbers, and never responding directly to questionable correspondence. It's deeply concerning how these scammers deliberately target seniors by exploiting the complexity of benefit programs, but this discussion proves how powerful community knowledge can be in protecting our most vulnerable members. The professional insights from those working in elder fraud prevention are particularly valuable - learning that government agencies already have our information and would never request sensitive details through unsolicited mail is something I'll definitely share with my elderly relatives. Thank you to everyone who took the time to share their experiences and expertise. This thread should be bookmarked by anyone helping elderly family members navigate Medicare-related correspondence - it's exactly the kind of protective community support that makes all the difference in keeping seniors safe from increasingly sophisticated scams!

I just want to echo what everyone else has said - your DIC payments will NOT count against the Social Security earnings limit! I'm a federal retiree who also receives survivor benefits from my spouse's military service, and I went through this exact same worry when I was planning my retirement. The key thing to remember is that the earnings test only applies to "earned income" - meaning wages from a job or self-employment income. All other types of income like pensions, VA benefits, investment income, etc. are completely separate. I've been collecting both my federal pension and Social Security for 3 years now with no issues. The SSA representative I spoke with explained it really clearly: they only care about money you "earn" through work, not money you receive as benefits or compensation. Your $1,750 monthly DIC is safe! Just be careful if you do decide to work part-time - that's where you'll need to watch the $22,320 limit. But having that guaranteed DIC income definitely gives you more flexibility in your retirement planning.

I wanted to add something that might be helpful for your planning - make sure you understand how your reduced Social Security benefits will be calculated at 63. Since your full retirement age is 67, taking benefits at 63 means you'll receive about 75% of your full benefit amount (roughly a 25% reduction). This reduction is permanent, but as others mentioned, any money withheld due to exceeding the earnings limit will be recredited to you after you reach FRA. Also, I'd suggest running some scenarios with the SSA's online calculators or speaking with a financial planner who understands military survivor benefits. The combination of guaranteed DIC income plus reduced early SS benefits might actually work out better for your situation than waiting, especially considering your family health history concerns. Just make sure you factor in healthcare costs too - Medicare doesn't start until 65, so you'll need coverage for those two years between retiring at 63 and Medicare eligibility.

I'm turning 65 next month and have been following this discussion closely - it's been so helpful! I wanted to share what I've learned from my own research that might complement all the great advice here. One thing I discovered is that Medicare.gov has a really useful "Medicare Plan Finder" tool where you can input your specific situation and get personalized guidance. It confirmed for me that since I'm not receiving Social Security benefits and have qualifying employer coverage, I can safely delay enrollment. I also spoke with my company's benefits specialist last week, and she mentioned something that might be useful for others: they keep a checklist specifically for employees approaching 65 who want to maintain employer coverage. It includes reminders about annual enrollment periods, documentation to keep, and when to start planning for the eventual transition to Medicare. For anyone still feeling anxious about this (like I was!), I found it really helpful to write down my specific situation and timeline: - Current age and Medicare eligibility date - Social Security claiming timeline - Employment/retirement plans - Current health coverage details - HSA status Having it all written out clearly made it much easier to feel confident about my decision to delay Medicare enrollment. Thanks to Emily for starting this discussion and to everyone who shared their experiences - this has been invaluable for those of us navigating this transition!

This thread has been absolutely incredible - thank you Emily for asking this question and everyone for sharing such detailed, helpful responses! I'm 63 and starting to think about this exact scenario, so reading through all these real experiences has been like getting a masterclass in Medicare enrollment planning. A few things that really stood out to me: - The clarity that no automatic enrollment happens if you're not on Social Security yet - The HSA implications that I never would have considered - The importance of employer size (20+ employees) for avoiding penalties - All the documentation advice for proving creditable coverage later I'm curious - for those who went through this process, did you find that your employer's HR department became more helpful once you had specific questions to ask (like the ones discussed here), or were they generally not well-informed about Medicare coordination? I'm trying to figure out whether it's worth scheduling time with our benefits team or if I should rely more on calling Medicare directly like Tyler suggested. Also, has anyone used their state's SHIP program that Haley mentioned? I hadn't heard of that free counseling service before and it sounds like it could be really valuable. Thanks again for creating such an informative discussion - I'm bookmarking this thread for reference as I approach 65!