Can Social Security help find ex-spouse SSN or birthdate for spousal benefits?
I'm stuck in a frustrating situation with spousal benefits and could use some advice. I'm turning 64 next month and looking into claiming spousal benefits based on my two previous marriages. Both marriages lasted over 10 years, and both ex-husbands will be turning 62 in 2025. Here's my problem: I have the SSN and birthdate for my first ex-husband, but I'm missing both pieces of information for my second ex. When I called the SSA office yesterday, the representative told me that even though they have our marriage and divorce records in their system, they still need either his SSN or birthdate before they can process anything or even look up potential benefits. This seems ridiculous to me! I thought I remembered reading somewhere that SSA can find this information themselves since they already have our marriage records. Was I mistaken? Has anyone dealt with this before? I've been trying to reach someone more helpful at SSA for weeks but keep getting disconnected or transferred to voicemail.
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Alice Pierce
This is exactly why I tell everyone to keep ALL your important documents! The SSA has all this info but they make it nearly impossible to access your own benefits. When I applied for spousal benefits last year, I had to provide everything short of a DNA sample! I even had my ex's info and they still gave me the runaround for 3 months.
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Amy Fleming
•It's so frustrating! Did you ever get it resolved? I've been divorced from my second husband for almost 20 years now and we haven't spoken since. I have no idea how to track him down.
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Esteban Tate
Yes, the SSA can help you with this! I went through something similar last year. What you need to do is file an official request for information. Go to your local SSA office in person (make an appointment first) and bring all the documentation you have - especially your marriage certificate and divorce decree for the second marriage. The representative you spoke with on the phone was incorrect - they absolutely can help you when you don't have your ex's information, but it has to be processed through a specific channel. Also, just to clarify - are you planning to claim on both ex-spouses? Remember you can only receive one spousal benefit (whichever is higher).
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Amy Fleming
•Thank you so much for this information! I'll try to get an appointment at my local office. And yes, I understand I can only claim one benefit - I just want to know which ex-husband's record would give me the higher amount. I worked part-time most of my life, so my own benefit isn't great.
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Ivanna St. Pierre
my wife had same problem last yr. SSA told her they needed her ex's info and she didn't have it. took 6 months to sort out!! good luck
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Amy Fleming
•Oh no, 6 months! I was hoping to start the benefits in the next few months. Did she eventually get it without having to contact her ex?
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Elin Robinson
I think people are confusing SSI and SSDI in some of these responses. OP is talking about retirement benefits based on an ex-spouse's record, which is different. It's RIB benefits not disability.
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Atticus Domingo
•Actually, no one mentioned SSI or SSDI here. The OP is talking about spousal benefits under the retirement program, which is correct. These are available to divorced spouses if the marriage lasted at least 10 years, both parties are at least 62, and they've been divorced for at least 2 years (or the ex-spouse has already filed for their own benefits).
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Beth Ford
I just went through this entire process! The phone reps are often wrong. Here's what worked for me with my ex's info: 1. Fill out the official benefit application form (you can start online) 2. In the section asking for the ex-spouse's info, check the box that you don't have it 3. Provide as much info as you can (full name, last known address, etc.) 4. Upload your marriage certificate and divorce decree SSA will do an internal search. It might take longer, but they CAN and WILL find your ex's information in their system. They have everyone's SSN and birthdate already! Don't give up or let them tell you otherwise. The key is getting past the first-level phone people to someone who actually knows the policies.
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Amy Fleming
•Thank you for these specific steps! This is exactly what I needed to know. Did they give you any trouble about the missing information when you submitted it this way?
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Beth Ford
•The online system accepted it fine, but then I got a call from SSA about 3 weeks later asking for more details about my ex. I just reiterated that we hadn't spoken in years and I had provided everything I had. About 2 months after that initial application, I got a letter saying they found him in their system and were processing my claim. Took another month after that to start receiving benefits. So about 3 months total.
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Atticus Domingo
This is a common issue with divorced spousal benefits. Here's what you need to know: 1. Yes, the SSA can find your ex-spouse's information internally, but they need enough identifiers to locate the correct person. You should provide: - Full name (including any known previous names) - Approximate age/year of birth (even if you don't know the exact date) - Last known city/state - Any other identifying information you have 2. It's important to understand that if you're applying for divorced spouse benefits at 64, you'll receive a reduced amount (about 91.7% of your full benefit amount) since you're claiming before your Full Retirement Age (FRA) of 66 and 6 months. 3. Remember that to qualify for divorced spouse benefits: - Your marriage lasted at least 10 years - You are unmarried currently - Your ex-spouse is entitled to benefits (or will be when they turn 62) - The benefit you'd receive on your ex's record is higher than your own I recommend completing form SSA-2 (Request for Earnings and Benefit Estimate Statement) along with your application and specifically note that you're requesting assistance locating your ex-spouse's information for benefit purposes.
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Amy Fleming
•Thank you for this detailed information! I was aware of the reduction for claiming early, but I need the income now rather than waiting. I didn't know about form SSA-2 - I'll definitely complete that along with my application. Do you know if there's any advantage to applying in person vs. online in my situation?
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Atticus Domingo
•In your specific situation, applying in person would be advantageous. Complex cases like yours benefit from face-to-face interactions where you can explain the situation fully. The Claims Specialist can help you navigate the process of locating your ex's information more effectively than the online system, which isn't designed to handle special circumstances well. Just be sure to bring all documentation of both marriages and divorces, your identification, and any information you have about both ex-spouses.
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Morita Montoya
After trying for WEEKS to reach someone at Social Security about my disability review, I finally used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) and got through to an agent in 20 minutes! They have a demo video here: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU I was so frustrated with the constant busy signals and disconnects. Might be worth trying for your ex-spouse benefits issue too since it seems complicated and you'll want to talk to an actual person who knows what they're doing, not just the frontline phone people.
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Amy Fleming
•I've never heard of this service before. Does it really work? I've spent hours on hold only to get disconnected, so I'm willing to try anything at this point.
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Morita Montoya
•Yes, it actually worked for me! It got me through to a real SSA person who could actually help with my case. Much better than waiting on hold for hours or driving to the office just to be told to come back another day. For something complicated like your ex-spouse situation, you definitely need to talk to someone knowledgeable.
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Elin Robinson
my aunt tried to get her ex husband benefits and they made her go to court to get his info! but that was like 10 years ago so maybe rules changed
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Esteban Tate
•The rules haven't changed regarding ex-spouse benefits, but the process for locating information has improved. Today, the SSA rarely requires court intervention to locate basic information like birthdates or SSNs for benefit purposes. Their internal systems are more integrated now, which is why they can usually find this information if given enough identifying details to locate the correct person.
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Ivanna St. Pierre
when i filed for ss they kept askin for stuff i already sent!! check ur mail careful cuz they send letters asking for same stuff over n over. took me 4 months to get approved
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Alice Pierce
•THIS!!! I had to send my marriage certificate THREE TIMES because they kept "losing" it. Make copies of EVERYTHING and get receipts when you submit documents in person. The SSA is a bureaucratic nightmare!
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