Can't get ex-spouse Social Security benefit amount until filing for my own? Need workaround!
I'm really frustrated with the SSA right now. I'm trying to make a smart decision about when to claim Social Security benefits, but I'm hitting a roadblock. I've been divorced for 6 years (was married for 12 years), and I know I'm eligible for ex-spouse benefits. The problem is, when I called SSA to find out what my benefit would be as an ex-spouse, they said they can't tell me that amount until I actually file for my own retirement benefit first! This makes absolutely no sense to me. How am I supposed to plan properly if I don't know which benefit would be higher? I'm turning 63 next month and trying to decide if I should wait until my FRA at 67 or claim earlier. My financial advisor suggested I might get more from the ex-spouse benefit, but without knowing the numbers, we're just guessing. Has anyone else run into this ridiculous policy? Is the SSA rep I spoke with correct? And more importantly, is there any way around this to find out what my ex-spouse benefit would be BEFORE I file for my own?
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Diego Fisher
SSA does this ALL THE TIME!!! They refuse to give you proper info to make decisions then penalize you if you make the wrong choice. I went thru similiar with my ex husband's record. The trick is you need to ask for a "BENEFIT ESTIMATE" not tell them you want to apply. Say you need planning info for FUTURE decisions. If they still refuse, hang up and call again to get someone else. Also, your ex needs to be at least 62 for you to even collect on their record, do you know if they are?
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Evelyn Kim
•Thank you! I'll try asking for a "benefit estimate" instead. My ex is 65 already, so that part's not an issue. Did you have to provide any specific documentation when you called for the estimate?
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Henrietta Beasley
The rep you spoke with was incorrect. Social Security CAN provide benefit estimates for divorced spouse benefits without you applying first. I recommend gathering your marriage certificate and divorce decree before contacting them again, as they'll need to verify your marriage duration was at least 10 years. Keep in mind, if you claim before your Full Retirement Age (FRA), both your own benefit and the divorced spouse benefit will be permanently reduced. At your FRA, the maximum divorced spouse benefit would be 50% of your ex's Primary Insurance Amount (PIA). The SSA's systems should be able to calculate both benefits so you can make an informed decision. Sometimes representatives aren't fully trained on divorced spouse provisions, so be persistent and ask to speak with a supervisor if necessary.
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Lincoln Ramiro
•Actually, there's nuance here. SSA can tell you the divorced spouse benefit amount IF your ex is already collecting benefits. If they haven't filed yet, then it's true that SSA often can't provide an exact amount. They can give estimates based on what info they have in their systems, but those estimates may not be completely accurate.
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Faith Kingston
Honestly the phone reps at SSA are hopeless, I've been hung up on 3 times trying to get a simple answer about my own retirement benefits. You need to get to an actual person who knows what they're doing. I gave up on calling and just made an in-person appointment at my local office, but the wait was almost 2 months! Have you tried using the benefit calculators on ssa.gov? They might not be perfect for divorced spouse scenarios but could give you a rough idea.
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Lincoln Ramiro
•I tried the SSA calculators for this exact situation and they don't handle divorced spouse benefits well. They only work properly for your own record or current spouse. When I needed to get through to SSA quickly about my retirement and divorce questions, I used this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com). They got me connected to an SSA agent in about 15 minutes when I'd been trying for days. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Saved me so much frustration, and the agent I talked to was able to run actual calculations for both my own retirement benefit and my ex-spouse benefit so I could compare.
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Emma Johnson
my sister just went through this!!! what she did was go to the office in person with her marriage certificate and they were able to tell her both amounts (her own and ex-spouse). they still said she had to apply for her own first but at least she knew the numbers before deciding. the rules are super confusing but basically you get whichever is higher not both combined.
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Evelyn Kim
•Thanks for sharing your sister's experience! Good to know the in-person route might work better. Did she have to make an appointment first or just walk in? And yes, I understand I'd get the higher of the two benefits, not both - that's exactly why I need to know the amounts before deciding when to file!
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Liam Brown
This is a common misunderstanding. Let me explain how divorced spouse benefits actually work: 1) You're eligible for up to 50% of your ex's FRA benefit amount if that's higher than your own benefit 2) If you apply before your FRA (67), you'll receive a reduced amount 3) The SSA rep was partially correct - the system does process your own benefit first, then compares it to what you'd get as a divorced spouse, and pays the higher amount 4) However, they can still provide estimates of both without you filing I recommend contacting SSA again and specifically asking for a benefit comparison between your retirement benefit and your potential divorced spouse benefit. Bring your marriage certificate and divorce decree to verify eligibility. If the representative says they can't do this, ask to speak with a Technical Expert or Claims Specialist who handles complex benefit situations. Also note that if your ex hasn't filed for benefits yet, you can only get divorced spouse benefits if you've been divorced for at least 2 years (which you have).
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Evelyn Kim
•Thank you for this detailed explanation! This clarifies a lot. I'll definitely ask for a "benefit comparison" or to speak with a Technical Expert who understands these situations better. I have all my documentation ready, so hopefully that will help move things along.
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Olivia Garcia
I don't know why everyone's making this so complicated. Just file for your own benefits now and if the ex-spouse benefit is higher they'll adjust it automatically. That's what my cousin did. Waiting until 67 is ridiculous anyway, birds in hand people!!!
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Henrietta Beasley
•This is actually incorrect advice that could cost thousands of dollars over a lifetime. Filing early permanently reduces benefits, and there's no automatic adjustment to the higher benefit later. Once you file, the reduction is permanent. For someone with average life expectancy, waiting until FRA or even age 70 often provides significantly more lifetime income. Each situation is different, which is precisely why the original poster needs accurate benefit estimates before making a decision.
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Diego Fisher
Don't forget they have that stupid earnings test too if your working!!! If you claim benefits before FRA and earn over the limit (like $21k or something for 2025) they take back $1 for every $2 you earn above that amount. ROBBERY!!!
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Evelyn Kim
•That's a good point about the earnings test. I'm only working part-time now, making about $18k annually, so I should be under that limit. But definitely something to factor into the decision.
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