Can I claim Social Security survivor benefits without my deceased ex-wife's SSN? SSA already knows we were married!

You absolutely need to go in person to the local SSA office. You're right that they should have your wife's information in their system if they already made a determination about her marital status that affected her benefits. Bring your photo ID, your own Social Security card, and any documentation you can gather about the marriage (certificate if possible). When you go in, specifically ask to speak with a Technical Expert or Claims Specialist, not just the front desk person. Explain clearly that SSA already made a determination about your marital status when adjusting her SSI benefits, so they must have her SSN and marriage info in their system. The key here is persistence. If the first person can't help, politely ask to speak with a supervisor. Don't leave until they at least attempt to look up the connection in their system.

OMG the SSA is IMPOSSIBLE to deal with!!! I went through something similar when my ex passed away - not exactly the same but close enough. They kept sending me in circles for WEEKS demanding paperwork they already had!!! I had to make FIVE trips to the office before someone finally looked in their system and found what they needed. The frontline people often don't have the authority or don't know how to access certain records. You HAVE TO keep escalating until you get someone who actually knows what they're doing. Don't give up!!

Social Security survivor benefits are definitely available to you in this situation since you were married for over 10 years and never divorced. The problem you're facing is purely administrative, not eligibility-based. Here's what you need to know: SSA can absolutely perform an internal search using your information to locate your deceased spouse's record. This is called a "Numident search" in their system. When you go to the office, specifically request this. Bring these documents: 1. Your government-issued photo ID 2. Your Social Security card 3. Your birth certificate 4. Any paperwork you have related to the marriage 5. Any correspondence regarding her SSI benefits or her death if you have it If they still resist, ask them to check the SSI records for any case notes about the marriage determination that reduced her benefits. That proves the connection exists in their system.

my uncle had a similar thing happen last yr. he couldn't get his ex's ssn either. what worked for him was going to the office with his marriage certificate and his own id and ss card. they looked it up in the system! dont give up they can find it. good luck

I work with seniors applying for benefits, and this is unfortunately pretty common. The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing at SSA. Here's the thing - if they adjusted her SSI benefits because she was married to you, they 100% have both your records linked internally. You don't need her SSN. When you go to the office, be prepared to wait several hours. Bring a bottle of water and something to read. Ask to speak with a Claims Specialist specifically. Be polite but firm. If they insist they need her SSN, ask them to check the SSI records where they determined she was married to you. If you're still not getting anywhere after trying the in-person route a couple times, you might want to try Claimyr (claimyr.com). It's a service that helps you bypass the ridiculous phone wait times to speak with an actual SSA agent. They have a video showing how it works here: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU. I've had clients use it when they kept hitting walls at the local office. Sometimes you get a more knowledgeable agent on the phone than in person.

Just wondering - did you ever claim her on your taxes as a spouse? Or file jointly? That might be another way to prove the relationship existed without her SSN.

Have you considered talking to a Social Security attorney? Some will do free consultations. Might be worth it if SSA keeps giving you the runaround.

This is exactly why I tell everyone to get divorced properly! Sorry you're dealing with this but there's an important lesson here for others reading. When you separate, get the legal divorce or this kind of mess happens decades later! Anyway, hope you get it sorted out. The SSA should definitely have the records linked if they reduced her benefits.

Just wanted to follow up - were you able to make any progress with this? If you're still having trouble, don't forget that Congressional offices can sometimes help with Social Security issues. Your local Representative or Senator's office might be able to cut through some red tape if you contact their constituent services.

One more thing I forgot to mention - be sure to ask about retroactive benefits when you do get this sorted out. You might be entitled to back payments from the time of her death if you were eligible but unable to apply due to these documentation issues.