Thank you everyone for the responses. This is disappointing but at least now I know where I stand. I'm going to call SSA directly to confirm everything, and then focus on maximizing my own retirement benefits. I appreciate all the information and support.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, the 10-year marriage requirement is strictly enforced by SSA with very few exceptions. However, I'd recommend double-checking a few things when you call SSA: 1) Make sure they have the correct marriage and divorce dates on file - sometimes there are discrepancies that could work in your favor, 2) Ask specifically about any credits you might have earned during your marriage that could boost your own future benefits, and 3) Inquire about whether you might qualify for any disability benefits if you have health issues. Also, don't forget that you may still be eligible for benefits on your own work record, and at 53 you have time to increase those future benefits through continued employment. Good luck with your call to SSA!

Thank you everyone for all this helpful information! I feel much more confident about my plan now. I'm going to try to reach SSA to start my retirement benefit now, and then make sure to contact them 3 months before my FRA to initiate the switch to survivor benefits. I'll also be sure to document everything carefully along the way. I appreciate all your suggestions and experiences - it's made this whole process much less intimidating!

One more tip that might help - when you call SSA, try calling right when they open (usually 8 AM local time) or later in the afternoon around 4-5 PM. Those tend to be less busy times. Also, if you get disconnected, don't give up! The system is frustrating but your strategy is solid and will save you money in the long run. I've seen too many people give up on legitimate benefit increases because the process was difficult. You've got this!

Thank you all for the incredible resources! I've ordered the Mike Piper book and am going through the POMS documentation (which is indeed as unfriendly as warned). The Annual Statistical Supplement is also proving very helpful. I'm realizing this is more complex than I initially thought, especially with the family maximum calculations and the special considerations for my child. I'm particularly concerned about that SGA limit mentioned for DAC benefits - definitely need to model that scenario carefully. For those who might find this thread later, I'll try to share my spreadsheet once I've got it working properly with all these variables. Thanks again for all the help!

As someone who's been down this rabbit hole before, I'd also recommend checking out the Social Security Administration's "Red Book" - specifically the 2025 version. It's their comprehensive guide to work incentives and contains detailed information about how earnings affect benefits, especially important for your special needs child scenario. One thing I learned the hard way: when building your spreadsheet, make sure to account for the fact that Social Security uses a very specific method for indexing earnings to current dollars using the Average Wage Index (AWI). The historical AWI factors are published annually and you'll need them for accurate AIME calculations. Also, if you're planning to include spousal benefit scenarios, don't forget about the Government Pension Offset (GPO) and Windfall Elimination Provision (WEP) if either applies to your situation - these can significantly impact calculations but are often overlooked. The complexity is real, but once you get all the pieces together in a spreadsheet, it becomes incredibly powerful for scenario planning. Looking forward to seeing what you create!

Thank you all for the helpful information! I'm going to start gathering my medical records and look into disability attorneys in my area. I'm still nervous about the application process and potential wait time, but at least now I know that IF I get approved, I'll receive my full benefit amount without reduction. That's a huge relief. I'll also check out that Claimyr service when I need to call SSA - sounds much better than sitting on hold all day with my painful joints! I'll update this thread once I get started with the process in case it helps others with similar conditions.

Best of luck with your application, Tony! Your approach sounds smart - gathering all medical records upfront and getting legal help early can really make a difference. One thing I'd add from my experience helping my mom with her SSDI claim: keep copies of EVERYTHING you submit to SSA. They sometimes lose paperwork and having your own copies saved us from having to re-request records from doctors. Also, if your rheumatologist hasn't already, ask them to specifically document in your records how your arthritis affects your ability to sit, stand, walk, lift, and grip - SSA focuses heavily on these functional limitations. The waiting is the hardest part, but you're going into this well-informed which puts you ahead of many applicants. Wishing you a smooth process and quick approval!

Thanks everyone for the helpful responses! I'm going to double-check my earnings record one more time to make sure everything's accurate. From what I'm gathering, as long as my record is correct, I should be able to trust the estimate within a small margin of error. I feel much better about my retirement planning now.

As someone who's been through this process, I'd say the estimates are generally pretty reliable if your earnings record is accurate. I claimed at FRA about 6 months ago and my actual benefit was within $15 of what the statement showed. The key is definitely reviewing your earnings history carefully - I caught a missing year from when I changed jobs and got that corrected before filing. Since you're planning to work until April 2025, your estimate should be quite accurate. Just remember to apply about 3 months before you want payments to start to avoid any delays!