As someone who went through this exact situation two years ago, I feel your pain! The SSA phone wait times are absolutely brutal. Here's what finally worked for me: I called my local SSA office directly (not the main 1-800 number) and was able to schedule a phone appointment for later that week. Many local offices offer scheduled phone consultations where they call YOU at the appointed time - no waiting on hold! You can find your local office number on the SSA website using your zip code. When I had my scheduled call, the representative was able to calculate my ex-spouse benefit estimate in about 10 minutes. Just make sure you have your ex's full name, date of birth, and SSN ready (which you mentioned you have from old tax returns). The estimate they gave me was spot-on when I actually filed. This approach saved me hours of frustration and I got accurate information from someone who had time to explain everything properly.

I just discovered another option that might help - some SSA offices have self-service kiosks where you can pull certain benefit information without waiting in line. However, I'm not sure if they show ex-spouse benefit estimates specifically. You might also want to check if your local library has a SSA outreach program - mine has a volunteer AARP tax counselor who comes in twice a month and is really knowledgeable about Social Security benefits. She helped my neighbor figure out her widow's benefits without having to deal with SSA directly. It's worth asking your librarian if they have any similar programs. The volunteer couldn't give official estimates, but she walked through the calculation method so my neighbor knew roughly what to expect before making the SSA appointment.

This thread has been so useful. I had no idea there were so many options with survivor benefits. Has anyone used a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security planning? Worth it?

Thank you everyone for the helpful information! I feel much better knowing that my husband's early claiming won't permanently reduce what I might receive as a survivor benefit if I wait until my FRA. I'm also intrigued by the strategy of possibly taking survivor benefits at FRA and then switching to my own benefit at 70 if it would be higher with the delayed retirement credits. I've been trying to call SSA to confirm all this for my specific situation but haven't been able to get through. I'll try that Claimyr service someone mentioned. It's such a relief to understand this better - these decisions affect the rest of our lives and it's so hard to find clear information sometimes.

Has anyone else noticed they keep changing these rules every few years?? My mom got benefits from her ex husband but they were only married 8 years I think... but that was back in the 90s so maybe rules were different then???

Just wanted to add that if you're still worried about any of this, you can create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov to see your earnings record and get benefit estimates. It's really helpful for planning purposes and you can see exactly what your projected benefits would be based on your current earnings history. Plus, if there are any errors in your record, you can spot them early and get them corrected. The online account also shows you what documents SSA has on file for you, including marriage and divorce records that affect benefit eligibility.

Thanks everyone for all the helpful information! So if I'm understanding correctly: 1. I can't do the "claim spousal first, then switch to my own later" strategy because I was born after 1954 2. When I file (at any age), I'll automatically be applying for both benefits and get the higher amount 3. If I claim at 62, both amounts would be permanently reduced 4. My best options are either claim everything early if I need the money, or wait until 70 if I can afford it I think I'm going to talk to a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security before making my final decision. This is too important to get wrong!

Great summary Oliver! You've got the key points right. One small clarification on timing - you mentioned talking to a financial advisor, which is smart, but also consider scheduling an appointment directly with your local Social Security office once you're closer to making a decision. They can run the exact numbers for your specific situation and show you projected benefit amounts at different claiming ages. Also, don't forget to factor in Medicare costs when you're doing your financial planning. Even if you delay Social Security until 70, you'll still need to enroll in Medicare at 65 to avoid penalties, and those premiums will be an ongoing expense to consider in your retirement budget. The fact that you're planning this out well in advance puts you way ahead of most people. Take your time with the decision - you've got several months to crunch the numbers and see what works best for your situation!

Thank you all so much for the helpful information! I just talked to Mom and she's incredibly relieved. She was actually considering postponing the marriage because of the financial concerns, but now she feels comfortable moving forward. She does have some Extra Help with her Medicare Part D, so we'll look into how that might be affected. I'm going to help her schedule an appointment with SSA to confirm everything for her specific situation. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to share your knowledge!

That's wonderful news! I'm so happy your mom can move forward with her marriage without worrying about losing her survivor benefits. Just a quick additional tip - when she does contact SSA, she might want to ask about whether she should report the marriage proactively or wait until after it happens. Some offices prefer advance notice while others just want to be notified after the fact. Also, make sure she brings a copy of the marriage certificate when she does report it. Best wishes to your mom and her fiancé on their upcoming wedding!