I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Unfortunately, the 10-year marriage requirement is strictly enforced by SSA with very few exceptions. However, I'd recommend double-checking a few things when you call SSA: 1) Make sure they have the correct marriage and divorce dates on file - sometimes there are discrepancies that could work in your favor, 2) Ask specifically about any credits you might have earned during your marriage that could boost your own future benefits, and 3) Inquire about whether you might qualify for any disability benefits if you have health issues. Also, don't forget that you may still be eligible for benefits on your own work record, and at 53 you have time to increase those future benefits through continued employment. Good luck with your call to SSA!

I'm really sorry for your loss and the difficult situation you're facing. While the 10-year rule is unfortunately very strict, I wanted to mention a couple of things that might be worth exploring when you call SSA. First, make absolutely certain they have your correct marriage and divorce dates - even a few days difference could matter if there's any discrepancy in their records. Second, since your ex-husband never remarried, you might want to ask about any potential one-time death benefit (though this is typically only $255 and goes to surviving spouses or children). Most importantly, use this as motivation to maximize your own Social Security earnings record over the next 14 years before your full retirement age. Every year of higher earnings can replace lower-earning years in your benefit calculation. I know it's not the answer you were hoping for, but focusing on what you can control moving forward will serve you well.

Thank you everyone for all this helpful information! I feel much more confident about my plan now. I'm going to try to reach SSA to start my retirement benefit now, and then make sure to contact them 3 months before my FRA to initiate the switch to survivor benefits. I'll also be sure to document everything carefully along the way. I appreciate all your suggestions and experiences - it's made this whole process much less intimidating!

One more tip that might help - when you call SSA, try calling right when they open (usually 8 AM local time) or later in the afternoon around 4-5 PM. Those tend to be less busy times. Also, if you get disconnected, don't give up! The system is frustrating but your strategy is solid and will save you money in the long run. I've seen too many people give up on legitimate benefit increases because the process was difficult. You've got this!

When I switched from my disability to retirement benefits last year, I got three different notices that all contradicted each other. One said I was approved, one said I needed to apply, and another had an incorrect benefit amount. I finally got it straightened out, but it took multiple calls. My advice is to keep a file with copies of EVERYTHING they send you. Take notes during every phone call including the representative's name and ID number. The SSA systems don't always communicate with each other, so having your own documentation is crucial. Also, don't be surprised if your first payment at the new benefit amount is slightly delayed. Mine was about 2 weeks late, but they eventually got it right with the correct amount.

I went through this exact same situation about 8 months ago when I switched from survivor benefits to my own retirement at 67. The conflicting letters are unfortunately very common - SSA's different computer systems don't always sync up properly. Based on your description, you're in good shape! The MySocialSecurity account showing "approved but pending" is the most reliable indicator. That second letter telling you to apply online was almost certainly an automated notice that didn't recognize your phone application. A few things that helped me when I was in your shoes: - Screenshot your MySocialSecurity status page for your records - When you do call, ask them to confirm the exact benefit amount and start date - Make sure they have your correct Direct Deposit info on file The wait times are brutal, but if it gives you peace of mind, it's worth one call to confirm everything is set up correctly. My first payment at the new rate came right on schedule despite all the confusing paperwork I received beforehand. You should be all set, but I understand wanting that extra confirmation!

Thank you all for the incredible resources! I've ordered the Mike Piper book and am going through the POMS documentation (which is indeed as unfriendly as warned). The Annual Statistical Supplement is also proving very helpful. I'm realizing this is more complex than I initially thought, especially with the family maximum calculations and the special considerations for my child. I'm particularly concerned about that SGA limit mentioned for DAC benefits - definitely need to model that scenario carefully. For those who might find this thread later, I'll try to share my spreadsheet once I've got it working properly with all these variables. Thanks again for all the help!

As someone who's been down this rabbit hole before, I'd also recommend checking out the Social Security Administration's "Red Book" - specifically the 2025 version. It's their comprehensive guide to work incentives and contains detailed information about how earnings affect benefits, especially important for your special needs child scenario. One thing I learned the hard way: when building your spreadsheet, make sure to account for the fact that Social Security uses a very specific method for indexing earnings to current dollars using the Average Wage Index (AWI). The historical AWI factors are published annually and you'll need them for accurate AIME calculations. Also, if you're planning to include spousal benefit scenarios, don't forget about the Government Pension Offset (GPO) and Windfall Elimination Provision (WEP) if either applies to your situation - these can significantly impact calculations but are often overlooked. The complexity is real, but once you get all the pieces together in a spreadsheet, it becomes incredibly powerful for scenario planning. Looking forward to seeing what you create!

Thank you all for the helpful information! I'm going to start gathering my medical records and look into disability attorneys in my area. I'm still nervous about the application process and potential wait time, but at least now I know that IF I get approved, I'll receive my full benefit amount without reduction. That's a huge relief. I'll also check out that Claimyr service when I need to call SSA - sounds much better than sitting on hold all day with my painful joints! I'll update this thread once I get started with the process in case it helps others with similar conditions.

Best of luck with your application, Tony! Your approach sounds smart - gathering all medical records upfront and getting legal help early can really make a difference. One thing I'd add from my experience helping my mom with her SSDI claim: keep copies of EVERYTHING you submit to SSA. They sometimes lose paperwork and having your own copies saved us from having to re-request records from doctors. Also, if your rheumatologist hasn't already, ask them to specifically document in your records how your arthritis affects your ability to sit, stand, walk, lift, and grip - SSA focuses heavily on these functional limitations. The waiting is the hardest part, but you're going into this well-informed which puts you ahead of many applicants. Wishing you a smooth process and quick approval!