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One other important thing to consider: if you do qualify for benefits as a divorced spouse caring for a disabled adult child, and you decide to reduce your work hours to stay under the earnings limit, make sure to calculate how that will affect your own future retirement benefit. Those reduced earnings years will be part of your benefit calculation. Sometimes it's better financially to keep working and wait until your own retirement age to claim benefits.
I went through something very similar with my disabled son a few years ago! Here's what I learned that might help: The key thing is getting your MySocialSecurity account working again - that's your best bet for getting benefit estimates without the phone nightmare. Try the account recovery process first, but if you're still locked out after 24 hours, you might need to create a completely new account with a different email address. For your specific situation, since your son became disabled before 22 and you were married 10+ years, you likely have multiple benefit options to compare. The earnings test is brutal though - at $56K you'd lose a lot of any early spousal benefits, so running the numbers is crucial. One thing that helped me was requesting a "benefit verification letter" for my son through HIS MySocialSecurity account (if he has one or can create one). It shows his benefit type and amount, which can help clarify how his benefits might interact with yours. Also, if you do end up going to the local office, ask specifically for a "retirement estimate" that shows ALL your options - your own benefits, ex-spousal benefits, and any caregiver benefits you might qualify for. They can run scenarios for different claiming ages too. Hang in there - the system is frustrating but once you get the right information, you can make a solid plan!
This is such helpful advice, thank you! I didn't think about having my son request his own benefit verification letter - that's brilliant. He does have some cognitive limitations but I help him with paperwork so we should be able to handle that. I'm definitely going to try creating a new MySocialSecurity account with a different email if the recovery doesn't work. The benefit estimate tools online would save me so much hassle compared to these phone calls. Your point about asking for ALL the options when I finally get to speak with someone (or visit the office) is really important. I want to make sure I'm not missing anything since this decision will affect both my immediate caregiving situation and my long-term financial security. It's reassuring to hear from someone who's been through this successfully. The system really is overwhelming when you're trying to balance work, caregiving, and planning for the future all at once!
One last thing to consider: if your ex-spouse passes away before you claim benefits, the rules change. As a surviving divorced spouse, you could claim survivor benefits as early as age 60 (or 50 if disabled). Survivor benefits are different from ex-spousal benefits. Not something to hope for, of course, but important to know in case that situation arises.
I just went through this exact process last year! I was 61 when I started researching and had to wait until 62 just like you. One tip that really helped me: about 3-4 months before your 62nd birthday, you can actually start the application process. Don't wait until the day you turn 62 because processing can take time. Also, since you mentioned struggling financially, look into whether your state has a Senior Community Service Employment Program (SCSEP). It's specifically for people 55+ with lower incomes and can provide part-time work and training while you're waiting to be eligible for benefits. I found it through my local Area Agency on Aging and it really helped bridge the gap. The waiting is hard, but you're so close! Just two and a half more years and you'll have that extra financial security.
Thank you so much for this practical advice! I had no idea you could start the application process before actually turning 62 - that's really helpful to know. And I've never heard of SCSEP but I'll definitely look into it. It sounds like exactly what I need to help get through these next couple of years. It's encouraging to hear from someone who actually went through this process recently. Did you end up claiming at 62 or did you wait longer?
My sister went thru this and she said the problem was that her husband collected SS on HER record not his own thats why they both got hit when she made to much $. if ur hubby gets his own check based on his own work then ur fine!!!!
Thank you all for the helpful responses! I feel much better understanding that our tax filing status doesn't affect how Social Security handles the earnings limit. I'll file jointly with my husband since it won't put his benefits at risk. I'm still worried about how much they'll take from my benefits next year, but at least I know it won't affect my husband. Does anyone know if they just withhold future payments or do they sometimes send a bill asking for the money back in a lump sum?
Typically, SSA will give you options. They usually prefer to withhold future monthly payments until the overpayment is recovered. However, you can request to pay it back as a lump sum if that works better for you. If the withholding would cause financial hardship, you can also negotiate a lower monthly recovery rate. Just be aware that withholding stops once you reach your Full Retirement Age - after that, the earnings test no longer applies.
As someone who went through a similar situation with my disabled daughter, I can't stress enough how important it is to pursue the DAC benefits that others have mentioned! The Medicare eligibility after 24 months of SSDI is absolutely life-changing for covering medical expenses. One thing I learned the hard way - start the DAC application process as soon as possible after you file for retirement benefits. The paperwork can take months to process, and you'll want to gather all medical documentation showing your son's disability onset before age 22. Also, regarding the special needs trust question - we worked with an elder law attorney who specializes in disability planning. They're usually more knowledgeable about the specific rules that protect benefits eligibility. The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys has a good directory on their website. For your ex-spouse, even though the GPO will likely eliminate benefits, it might still be worth having him apply just to get an official determination. Sometimes there are small amounts that survive the offset, and you never know until you get the actual calculation from SSA.
This is such valuable advice, thank you! I'm feeling much more hopeful about the DAC benefits for our son after reading everyone's responses. Can you tell me more about what specific medical documentation I should start gathering? We have years of records from multiple specialists, but I want to make sure I'm focusing on the right things to prove his disability onset before age 22. Also, do you remember roughly how long the DAC application process took in your daughter's case?
I'm sorry, but I think there might be some confusion in the conversation. Looking back at the original post, Sydney Torres (the original poster) mentioned that her son is 32 years old and has severe medical conditions that started when he was 17. Oliver Alexander seems to be asking about gathering documentation, but he's not the original poster - Sydney is the one who would need to apply for DAC benefits for her son. To clarify for Sydney: You'll want to gather medical records from when your son was 17 showing the onset of his disabilities, along with any psychological evaluations, treatment records, and statements from doctors about his functional limitations. The key is proving continuous disability from before age 22. You should also collect any educational records (like IEP documents) that show his limitations during school years. Start with your son's primary care physician and any specialists who treated him during his teenage years - they can provide crucial documentation for the DAC application.
Thank you for clearing that up! You're absolutely right - I got confused about who was asking what. As the original poster Sydney, I really appreciate all the detailed advice about the DAC benefits. I'll definitely start gathering those medical records from when our son was 17, including his IEP documents from high school. His pediatric neurologist and the developmental pediatrician who first diagnosed his conditions should have the key records showing the onset. This whole thread has been incredibly helpful - I had no idea about DAC benefits before today, and now it seems like our best path forward for getting him some financial assistance and eventually Medicare coverage.
PaulineW
One thing I didn't see mentioned - make sure you understand how working affects your survivor benefits if you're planning to continue working. Since you're under full retirement age, there's an earnings limit ($22,320 for 2025), and they deduct $1 for every $2 you earn above that limit. This doesn't apply after you reach your full retirement age. Also, the survivor benefit amount is based on several factors: your age when you claim, whether your husband had already started his benefits, and if he hadn't, whether you claim before or after his full retirement age. It can get confusing, so don't hesitate to ask the interviewer to explain exactly how your benefit amount was calculated.
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Alberto Souchard
•That's a really important point about the earnings limit. I do work part-time and earn about $19,000 annually, so I should be under the limit, but I'll definitely ask about this during the interview. Thank you!
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Anna Stewart
I'm so sorry for your loss, and I completely understand the anxiety around this process. I went through my survivor benefits interview about 18 months ago, and while it was nerve-wracking beforehand, the actual interview was much more straightforward than I expected. A few additional tips that helped me: - Have a glass of water nearby during the call. When you're nervous, your mouth can get dry and it helps to stay hydrated. - If you don't understand something they're explaining, it's perfectly okay to say "Could you repeat that more slowly?" or "I want to make sure I understand - are you saying...?" They're used to people needing clarification. - The representatives are generally patient and understanding. Remember, they deal with grieving spouses regularly and know this is a difficult time. Regarding your earnings, since you're under the $22,320 limit, you should be fine. Just be honest about your work situation - they appreciate transparency. You've gotten excellent advice here about the "restrict to widow's benefits only" language. The fact that you're prepared with the right terminology puts you way ahead of where I was! You're going to do better than you think. Please do update us after your interview - it might help the next person going through this.
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