One other important thing to consider: if you do qualify for benefits as a divorced spouse caring for a disabled adult child, and you decide to reduce your work hours to stay under the earnings limit, make sure to calculate how that will affect your own future retirement benefit. Those reduced earnings years will be part of your benefit calculation. Sometimes it's better financially to keep working and wait until your own retirement age to claim benefits.

I went through something very similar with my disabled son a few years ago! Here's what I learned that might help: The key thing is getting your MySocialSecurity account working again - that's your best bet for getting benefit estimates without the phone nightmare. Try the account recovery process first, but if you're still locked out after 24 hours, you might need to create a completely new account with a different email address. For your specific situation, since your son became disabled before 22 and you were married 10+ years, you likely have multiple benefit options to compare. The earnings test is brutal though - at $56K you'd lose a lot of any early spousal benefits, so running the numbers is crucial. One thing that helped me was requesting a "benefit verification letter" for my son through HIS MySocialSecurity account (if he has one or can create one). It shows his benefit type and amount, which can help clarify how his benefits might interact with yours. Also, if you do end up going to the local office, ask specifically for a "retirement estimate" that shows ALL your options - your own benefits, ex-spousal benefits, and any caregiver benefits you might qualify for. They can run scenarios for different claiming ages too. Hang in there - the system is frustrating but once you get the right information, you can make a solid plan!

My sister went thru this and she said the problem was that her husband collected SS on HER record not his own thats why they both got hit when she made to much $. if ur hubby gets his own check based on his own work then ur fine!!!!

Thank you all for the helpful responses! I feel much better understanding that our tax filing status doesn't affect how Social Security handles the earnings limit. I'll file jointly with my husband since it won't put his benefits at risk. I'm still worried about how much they'll take from my benefits next year, but at least I know it won't affect my husband. Does anyone know if they just withhold future payments or do they sometimes send a bill asking for the money back in a lump sum?

One other aspect to consider regarding your son's situation: If he qualifies for DAC benefits on your record, he would also become eligible for Medicare after receiving SSDI for 24 months, regardless of his age. This could significantly help with his medical expenses. Also, while your ex-spouse likely won't receive benefits due to GPO, it's still worth having him check with SSA directly about his specific situation. The calculations can be complex, especially with the interplay between CSRS, divorced spouse benefits, and how GPO is precisely applied. Occasionally, if someone has some quarters of Social Security coverage (even if less than 40), the calculation might result in a small benefit remaining after GPO.

As someone who went through a similar situation with my disabled daughter, I can't stress enough how important it is to pursue the DAC benefits that others have mentioned! The Medicare eligibility after 24 months of SSDI is absolutely life-changing for covering medical expenses. One thing I learned the hard way - start the DAC application process as soon as possible after you file for retirement benefits. The paperwork can take months to process, and you'll want to gather all medical documentation showing your son's disability onset before age 22. Also, regarding the special needs trust question - we worked with an elder law attorney who specializes in disability planning. They're usually more knowledgeable about the specific rules that protect benefits eligibility. The National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys has a good directory on their website. For your ex-spouse, even though the GPO will likely eliminate benefits, it might still be worth having him apply just to get an official determination. Sometimes there are small amounts that survive the offset, and you never know until you get the actual calculation from SSA.

wait so if you get survivor benefits do you still get your own ss payment too or just the higher one?

I'm in a very similar situation and wanted to share what I learned during my recent SSA appointment. I was a federal employee for 28 years and my husband passed away 6 months ago. Like you, I was told I couldn't get survivor benefits due to GPO. After reading the helpful responses here, I called SSA using the tip about calling right at opening time - got through in about 15 minutes! The representative calculated that even with the GPO reduction, I would still receive about $800 monthly in survivor benefits (compared to my current $620 WEP-reduced benefit). What really surprised me was that they were able to process everything over the phone since I already had most documents on file from previous applications. I didn't need an in-person appointment. They said I should see the first payment within 4-6 weeks, and yes - I'm getting retroactive payments back to the month after my husband passed away. Don't give up hope! Even with these unfair GPO rules still in place, you very likely qualify for benefits that would significantly help your financial situation. The math shared by others here seems spot-on based on my experience.

Just to follow up on this thread - the reason this happens is that SSA processes retirement benefits and COLA adjustments in batches according to your Social Security number and benefit type. For couples, if you have different last names or were enrolled at different times, your records might be in different processing batches. The good news is that by February, everything should normalize and both payments will include the correct COLA amount as part of the regular monthly benefit. The separate payment is perfectly normal and not a mistake you need to worry about. I recommend checking your benefit verification letters in your MySocialSecurity accounts in early February - they should reflect the updated amounts going forward.

I work for a local senior services organization and we've been getting a lot of calls about this exact situation! You're definitely not alone - we've heard from probably 20+ people in the past week with the same pattern of getting their regular payment with COLA, then a separate smaller deposit a day or two later. From what we've learned from SSA, this is happening more frequently this year because they updated their payment processing system. The separate deposit is almost certainly your husband's COLA adjustment. The system prioritizes getting regular payments out on schedule, then catches up with the COLA calculations in a second wave. One tip: if you use direct deposit, the separate COLA payment might show up with a slightly different description on your bank statement (something like "SSA COLA ADJ" instead of just "SSA"). That's another way to confirm what it is without having to call and wait on hold!