I called SSA this morning and finally got through after trying for days! The agent explained that my benefit is actually a combination of my own small retirement benefit plus a spousal supplement that brings the total to $1,200. The math works out exactly as you all explained! She said my own benefit at 62 was calculated at $320 (reduced from my PIA of about $500), and then they added a reduced spousal supplement of $880 to reach $1,200 total. The full spousal benefit would have been around $1,950 if I'd waited until my FRA. I'm kicking myself a bit for not waiting, but at the time we really needed the income. At least now I understand how they calculated it. Thank you all so much for your help!

Has anyone noticed that the SSA calculators online are TERRIBLE at explaining spousal benefits? They focus almost entirely on retirement benefits based on your own record. Their website barely mentions that spousal benefits don't increase past FRA! I spent HOURS researching this when helping my mother with her benefits. The most important details are buried in footnotes or completely missing!

I want to thank everyone for their incredibly helpful responses! I've learned so much about WEP and now understand I need to confirm exactly how many years of "substantial earnings" I have according to SSA's specific thresholds. I'm going to try contacting SSA to get my full earnings record and request written confirmation about my WEP status. It sounds like with my 32 years in the private sector, I'm likely exempt from WEP reductions as long as my earnings met the thresholds for at least 30 of those years. I'll also look into whether my state highway department might have a Section 218 Agreement, though I'm pretty sure we don't pay into Social Security there. Thanks again for clarifying this confusing topic - I feel much better prepared to finalize my retirement plans now!

Great summary Aisha! One additional tip - when you get your earnings record from SSA, you can actually request what's called a "WEP factsheet" that will show you exactly which years count toward your substantial earnings and what your projected benefit would be with and without WEP. This document is super helpful for retirement planning since it eliminates the guesswork. Also, if you find you're just short of the 30 years needed for full exemption, remember that you might still qualify for a reduced WEP penalty rather than the full reduction. The penalty decreases as you get closer to 30 years of substantial earnings. Good luck with your retirement planning!

I'm really sorry you're going through this confusing situation. As others have mentioned, your sister was correct - survivor benefits for a surviving spouse do stop when you remarry before age 60. The good news is that you've been incredibly responsible by saving those payments! One additional tip: when you visit the SSA office, bring documentation of EVERYTHING. Your marriage certificate, records of when you reported the name change, and if possible, try to remember the name or employee number of the person who told you the benefits would continue. This documentation could be crucial if you decide to pursue the overpayment waiver that Marina mentioned. Also, don't feel bad about this mistake - the SSA's own training materials acknowledge that the remarriage rules are one of the most commonly misunderstood aspects of survivor benefits, even among their own staff. You did the right thing by asking and following the guidance you were given. Your son's benefits will definitely continue unchanged, which is one less thing to worry about. Stay strong - you've handled this situation very responsibly so far!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this stressful situation! As a newcomer to this community, I wanted to share that I went through something very similar with my late husband's benefits. The remarriage rules are honestly one of the most confusing parts of the Social Security system. Everyone here has given you excellent advice - your benefits should have stopped when you remarried before age 60, but your son's will continue. The fact that you've been saving the money shows incredible foresight and responsibility. One thing I'd add is to keep detailed notes of every conversation you have with SSA going forward - date, time, employee name/ID if possible, and what was discussed. This documentation could be really helpful, especially given the conflicting information you've received. Also, when you do visit the local office, consider asking to speak with a supervisor if the first person you talk to seems uncertain about the remarriage rules. You deserve clear, accurate information, and it's okay to advocate for yourself to get it. You're handling this difficult situation with such grace and responsibility. Hang in there - once you get this sorted out, at least you'll have peace of mind knowing exactly where you stand!

Just wanted to add one more important point that might affect your decision - if your ex-husband remarries, it won't impact your eligibility for divorced spouse benefits or survivor benefits at all. His new marriage has zero effect on your benefits as long as YOU remain unmarried. I mention this because I see a lot of people worry unnecessarily about what their ex does after divorce. The 10+ year marriage rule protects your rights regardless of his future relationships. Also, since you mentioned having kids together - if any of your children are still under 18 (or disabled), they might be eligible for benefits on their father's SSDI record too. That's a separate benefit that doesn't reduce what you could get. Good luck with your SSA appointment! Having all the numbers will really help you make the best choice for your situation.

I'm glad you're taking the time to research this thoroughly before making a decision! As someone who went through a similar situation with my ex-spouse's SSDI benefits, I wanted to add that when you meet with the SSA representative, make sure to ask about the "protected filing date" concept. If you're leaning toward waiting but are concerned about missing out on benefits, you can sometimes file a protective claim that establishes your filing date while you gather more information. This can be especially helpful if you're close to a birthday that might affect your benefit calculations. Also, don't be discouraged if the first representative you speak with seems unsure about divorced spouse benefits - unfortunately, not all SSA staff are equally knowledgeable about these more complex situations. If you don't feel confident in the answers you receive, it's perfectly acceptable to request to speak with a supervisor or schedule another appointment. One last tip: bring a copy of your divorce decree that shows the exact marriage dates. Sometimes there can be confusion about whether you truly meet the 10-year requirement, especially if there were separations before the final divorce.

My friend works for SS (not giving advice just sharing what I know) - definitely call the main number not your local office. The national line has access to more info. And keep calling until you get someone helpful cuz some reps are way better than others honestly

Just checking back - were you able to get through to someone who could help? The situation with multiple families definitely complicates things, but 4 months is still excessive for not even having an update.