Thanks for this thoughtful advice. I think I'll create that spreadsheet to visualize the scenarios better. The quality of life considerations are important too - I don't love my job but don't hate it either. I think I'm leaning toward a middle path, maybe claiming around 65. That gives me some early retirement years but doesn't reduce the benefit quite as drastically as claiming at 62.

I'm glad this discussion has been so helpful! As someone who just went through this exact decision process last year, I wanted to add one more perspective. I ended up creating what I called a "regret minimization" framework instead of just focusing on break-even math. I asked myself: "Which choice would I regret LEAST if things don't go as planned?" For me, that was waiting until 66 (one year before my FRA). Here's why: if I live a long life, I'm not leaving too much on the table compared to waiting until 67. But if something happens to me earlier, I still got several years of benefits I wouldn't have had by waiting the full time. It felt like the sweet spot between the two extremes. The peace of mind from having that guaranteed monthly income bump was worth more to me than the mathematical optimization. Sometimes the "good enough" decision that you can sleep well with is better than the theoretically perfect one that keeps you up at night worrying!

I called SSA this morning and finally got through after trying for days! The agent explained that my benefit is actually a combination of my own small retirement benefit plus a spousal supplement that brings the total to $1,200. The math works out exactly as you all explained! She said my own benefit at 62 was calculated at $320 (reduced from my PIA of about $500), and then they added a reduced spousal supplement of $880 to reach $1,200 total. The full spousal benefit would have been around $1,950 if I'd waited until my FRA. I'm kicking myself a bit for not waiting, but at the time we really needed the income. At least now I understand how they calculated it. Thank you all so much for your help!

Has anyone noticed that the SSA calculators online are TERRIBLE at explaining spousal benefits? They focus almost entirely on retirement benefits based on your own record. Their website barely mentions that spousal benefits don't increase past FRA! I spent HOURS researching this when helping my mother with her benefits. The most important details are buried in footnotes or completely missing!

I want to thank everyone for their incredibly helpful responses! I've learned so much about WEP and now understand I need to confirm exactly how many years of "substantial earnings" I have according to SSA's specific thresholds. I'm going to try contacting SSA to get my full earnings record and request written confirmation about my WEP status. It sounds like with my 32 years in the private sector, I'm likely exempt from WEP reductions as long as my earnings met the thresholds for at least 30 of those years. I'll also look into whether my state highway department might have a Section 218 Agreement, though I'm pretty sure we don't pay into Social Security there. Thanks again for clarifying this confusing topic - I feel much better prepared to finalize my retirement plans now!

Great summary Aisha! One additional tip - when you get your earnings record from SSA, you can actually request what's called a "WEP factsheet" that will show you exactly which years count toward your substantial earnings and what your projected benefit would be with and without WEP. This document is super helpful for retirement planning since it eliminates the guesswork. Also, if you find you're just short of the 30 years needed for full exemption, remember that you might still qualify for a reduced WEP penalty rather than the full reduction. The penalty decreases as you get closer to 30 years of substantial earnings. Good luck with your retirement planning!

Am I the only one wondering why she's been getting benefits at all? You have to be retirement age to get social security, right? I'm confused.

I'm really sorry you're going through this confusing situation. As others have mentioned, your sister was correct - survivor benefits for a surviving spouse do stop when you remarry before age 60. The good news is that you've been incredibly responsible by saving those payments! One additional tip: when you visit the SSA office, bring documentation of EVERYTHING. Your marriage certificate, records of when you reported the name change, and if possible, try to remember the name or employee number of the person who told you the benefits would continue. This documentation could be crucial if you decide to pursue the overpayment waiver that Marina mentioned. Also, don't feel bad about this mistake - the SSA's own training materials acknowledge that the remarriage rules are one of the most commonly misunderstood aspects of survivor benefits, even among their own staff. You did the right thing by asking and following the guidance you were given. Your son's benefits will definitely continue unchanged, which is one less thing to worry about. Stay strong - you've handled this situation very responsibly so far!

The previous commenter is partially right - the "file and suspend" and "restricted application" strategies were largely eliminated by the Bipartisan Budget Act of 2015. However, since you're 62 now, you were born in approximately 1963, which means you can't file a restricted application (that option ended for people born after January 1, 1954). When you file for any retirement benefit, you're deemed to be filing for all benefits you're eligible for, and you'll receive the highest amount. So you can't take ex-spouse benefits now and switch to your own later. Still worth getting the specific numbers from SSA to make the best decision for your situation.

Just wanted to add one more important point that might affect your decision - if your ex-husband remarries, it won't impact your eligibility for divorced spouse benefits or survivor benefits at all. His new marriage has zero effect on your benefits as long as YOU remain unmarried. I mention this because I see a lot of people worry unnecessarily about what their ex does after divorce. The 10+ year marriage rule protects your rights regardless of his future relationships. Also, since you mentioned having kids together - if any of your children are still under 18 (or disabled), they might be eligible for benefits on their father's SSDI record too. That's a separate benefit that doesn't reduce what you could get. Good luck with your SSA appointment! Having all the numbers will really help you make the best choice for your situation.