Just wanted to add one more important point that might affect your decision - if your ex-husband remarries, it won't impact your eligibility for divorced spouse benefits or survivor benefits at all. His new marriage has zero effect on your benefits as long as YOU remain unmarried. I mention this because I see a lot of people worry unnecessarily about what their ex does after divorce. The 10+ year marriage rule protects your rights regardless of his future relationships. Also, since you mentioned having kids together - if any of your children are still under 18 (or disabled), they might be eligible for benefits on their father's SSDI record too. That's a separate benefit that doesn't reduce what you could get. Good luck with your SSA appointment! Having all the numbers will really help you make the best choice for your situation.

I'm glad you're taking the time to research this thoroughly before making a decision! As someone who went through a similar situation with my ex-spouse's SSDI benefits, I wanted to add that when you meet with the SSA representative, make sure to ask about the "protected filing date" concept. If you're leaning toward waiting but are concerned about missing out on benefits, you can sometimes file a protective claim that establishes your filing date while you gather more information. This can be especially helpful if you're close to a birthday that might affect your benefit calculations. Also, don't be discouraged if the first representative you speak with seems unsure about divorced spouse benefits - unfortunately, not all SSA staff are equally knowledgeable about these more complex situations. If you don't feel confident in the answers you receive, it's perfectly acceptable to request to speak with a supervisor or schedule another appointment. One last tip: bring a copy of your divorce decree that shows the exact marriage dates. Sometimes there can be confusion about whether you truly meet the 10-year requirement, especially if there were separations before the final divorce.

My friend works for SS (not giving advice just sharing what I know) - definitely call the main number not your local office. The national line has access to more info. And keep calling until you get someone helpful cuz some reps are way better than others honestly

Just checking back - were you able to get through to someone who could help? The situation with multiple families definitely complicates things, but 4 months is still excessive for not even having an update.

Good question about him waiting until 70. Your spousal benefit is based on his PIA (what he'd get at his full retirement age), not his actual benefit amount. So while HE would get a larger benefit by waiting until 70 (about 8% per year in delayed retirement credits), your spousal benefit wouldn't increase beyond 50% of his PIA. However, there's still an advantage to him waiting - if he passes away before you, you'd be eligible for survivor benefits equal to 100% of what he was receiving, including those delayed retirement credits. So his waiting could significantly increase your eventual widow's benefit. Given your age difference and his higher earning history, him delaying benefits could be a good strategy for maximizing your lifetime household benefits, especially if he has longevity in his family.

Just want to add one practical tip that helped me when I was navigating this - keep detailed records of all your communications with SSA! I created a simple spreadsheet tracking dates, who I spoke with, and what they told me. This saved me so much hassle later when I got conflicting information from different representatives. Also, if you haven't already, create your my Social Security account online at ssa.gov. You can see your earnings history, get benefit estimates, and even run scenarios for different filing ages. It's much more reliable than trying to get through on the phone, and you can see exactly what your husband's estimated PIA would be at different ages. One last thing - consider consulting with a fee-only financial planner who specializes in Social Security strategies before making any major decisions. The rules are complex and the stakes are high given that these decisions can't easily be undone.

This happens every few years and causes so much confusion! My mom gets retirement benefits not survivor benefits but same payment system. Her neighbor told her same thing last year and she was up all night worrying. Like others said nobody misses a payment, it's just about when the dates fall. Does your aunt get direct deposit? That makes it easier to track.

I work at a local senior center and we get this exact question every single year! It's so frustrating how this rumor keeps circulating and scaring people. Your aunt is definitely not alone - we had about 15 seniors come in last month asking about "missed December payments." What I always tell folks is to think of it like this: Social Security promises you 12 payments per year, and they ALWAYS deliver on that promise. Sometimes the calendar just makes it look weird on paper, but the money is always there. We actually keep printouts of the SSA payment calendar at our front desk now because this comes up so often. Tell your aunt she can also call her local Area Agency on Aging if she needs help understanding any Social Security stuff - they're usually really good at explaining things in plain English without the long hold times!

That's a good point about the 35-year calculation. For anyone unfamiliar, Social Security uses your highest 35 years of earnings (indexed for inflation) to calculate benefits. Years with no earnings count as zeros in this calculation. This is why the spousal benefit is particularly important for those who spent time out of the workforce or had lower earnings for significant periods.

As someone who just went through this process with my parents last year, I can confirm the system does automatically calculate both benefits and gives the higher amount. However, I'd strongly recommend setting up a my Social Security account online if your wife hasn't already - this lets you track the application status and see exactly what benefits are being calculated. The processing can take 2-3 months to get the full amount right, so having online access helps you monitor what's happening rather than waiting and wondering. Also, definitely ask about those retroactive benefits when she applies - at 70, the 6 months of backpay is usually worth more than the small reduction in monthly benefits.