Thanks for this thoughtful advice. I think I'll create that spreadsheet to visualize the scenarios better. The quality of life considerations are important too - I don't love my job but don't hate it either. I think I'm leaning toward a middle path, maybe claiming around 65. That gives me some early retirement years but doesn't reduce the benefit quite as drastically as claiming at 62.

I'm glad this discussion has been so helpful! As someone who just went through this exact decision process last year, I wanted to add one more perspective. I ended up creating what I called a "regret minimization" framework instead of just focusing on break-even math. I asked myself: "Which choice would I regret LEAST if things don't go as planned?" For me, that was waiting until 66 (one year before my FRA). Here's why: if I live a long life, I'm not leaving too much on the table compared to waiting until 67. But if something happens to me earlier, I still got several years of benefits I wouldn't have had by waiting the full time. It felt like the sweet spot between the two extremes. The peace of mind from having that guaranteed monthly income bump was worth more to me than the mathematical optimization. Sometimes the "good enough" decision that you can sleep well with is better than the theoretically perfect one that keeps you up at night worrying!

dont 4get that if u get benefits reduced cuz of working, they recalculate ur benefit when u hit FRA and give u credit for those months. so its not completely lost money, just delayed

As someone new to this community, I want to thank everyone for sharing such detailed experiences! This thread has been incredibly helpful. I'm in a similar situation planning retirement next year and had no idea about the "grace year" rule or how specific you need to be about your first month of entitlement. One question I have after reading all this - when you apply online through SSA.gov, does it clearly ask you to specify your first month of entitlement? Or is this something you need to call about? I'm worried about making the same mistakes some of you mentioned where SSA starts benefits earlier than intended. Also, has anyone tried the retroactive benefits option where they can pay you up to 6 months back? I'm wondering if that creates earnings test complications too.

I want to thank everyone for their incredibly helpful responses! I've learned so much about WEP and now understand I need to confirm exactly how many years of "substantial earnings" I have according to SSA's specific thresholds. I'm going to try contacting SSA to get my full earnings record and request written confirmation about my WEP status. It sounds like with my 32 years in the private sector, I'm likely exempt from WEP reductions as long as my earnings met the thresholds for at least 30 of those years. I'll also look into whether my state highway department might have a Section 218 Agreement, though I'm pretty sure we don't pay into Social Security there. Thanks again for clarifying this confusing topic - I feel much better prepared to finalize my retirement plans now!

Great summary Aisha! One additional tip - when you get your earnings record from SSA, you can actually request what's called a "WEP factsheet" that will show you exactly which years count toward your substantial earnings and what your projected benefit would be with and without WEP. This document is super helpful for retirement planning since it eliminates the guesswork. Also, if you find you're just short of the 30 years needed for full exemption, remember that you might still qualify for a reduced WEP penalty rather than the full reduction. The penalty decreases as you get closer to 30 years of substantial earnings. Good luck with your retirement planning!

I called SSA this morning and finally got through after trying for days! The agent explained that my benefit is actually a combination of my own small retirement benefit plus a spousal supplement that brings the total to $1,200. The math works out exactly as you all explained! She said my own benefit at 62 was calculated at $320 (reduced from my PIA of about $500), and then they added a reduced spousal supplement of $880 to reach $1,200 total. The full spousal benefit would have been around $1,950 if I'd waited until my FRA. I'm kicking myself a bit for not waiting, but at the time we really needed the income. At least now I understand how they calculated it. Thank you all so much for your help!

Has anyone noticed that the SSA calculators online are TERRIBLE at explaining spousal benefits? They focus almost entirely on retirement benefits based on your own record. Their website barely mentions that spousal benefits don't increase past FRA! I spent HOURS researching this when helping my mother with her benefits. The most important details are buried in footnotes or completely missing!

I'm really sorry you're going through this confusing situation. As others have mentioned, your sister was correct - survivor benefits for a surviving spouse do stop when you remarry before age 60. The good news is that you've been incredibly responsible by saving those payments! One additional tip: when you visit the SSA office, bring documentation of EVERYTHING. Your marriage certificate, records of when you reported the name change, and if possible, try to remember the name or employee number of the person who told you the benefits would continue. This documentation could be crucial if you decide to pursue the overpayment waiver that Marina mentioned. Also, don't feel bad about this mistake - the SSA's own training materials acknowledge that the remarriage rules are one of the most commonly misunderstood aspects of survivor benefits, even among their own staff. You did the right thing by asking and following the guidance you were given. Your son's benefits will definitely continue unchanged, which is one less thing to worry about. Stay strong - you've handled this situation very responsibly so far!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this stressful situation! As a newcomer to this community, I wanted to share that I went through something very similar with my late husband's benefits. The remarriage rules are honestly one of the most confusing parts of the Social Security system. Everyone here has given you excellent advice - your benefits should have stopped when you remarried before age 60, but your son's will continue. The fact that you've been saving the money shows incredible foresight and responsibility. One thing I'd add is to keep detailed notes of every conversation you have with SSA going forward - date, time, employee name/ID if possible, and what was discussed. This documentation could be really helpful, especially given the conflicting information you've received. Also, when you do visit the local office, consider asking to speak with a supervisor if the first person you talk to seems uncertain about the remarriage rules. You deserve clear, accurate information, and it's okay to advocate for yourself to get it. You're handling this difficult situation with such grace and responsibility. Hang in there - once you get this sorted out, at least you'll have peace of mind knowing exactly where you stand!