Thanks everyone for all this helpful information! One last question - does anyone know if I need to go to the Social Security office in person to apply for survivor benefits, or can I do it online? Their website is a bit confusing to navigate.

I just wanted to chime in as someone who works with seniors on benefit planning. The advice here is spot-on - remarriage after age 60 does NOT affect your ability to collect survivor benefits from a deceased ex-spouse. This is one of the most misunderstood Social Security rules, and unfortunately many people make major life decisions based on incorrect information. The key points to remember: 1) You were married 10+ years (15 in your case), 2) Your ex has passed away, and 3) You'll be remarrying after age 60. All boxes checked! Don't let fear of losing benefits delay your happiness. Just make sure when you apply that you emphasize it's SURVIVOR benefits from a deceased ex-spouse, not regular divorced spouse benefits, as some SSA reps get confused between the two.

One more consideration: have you looked into whether you might qualify for any needs-based assistance programs that could help bridge the gap until you reach your full retirement age? Things like SNAP benefits (food stamps), energy assistance programs, etc. might help you manage if you decide to stop working before claiming Social Security. Also, some states have additional supplemental programs for seniors with limited income. These resources could potentially help you delay claiming until at least 65 when Medicare kicks in, which would reduce your healthcare costs significantly compared to marketplace insurance before 65.

Sean, as someone who went through this exact decision two years ago, I can share what worked for me. I was 61, similar health concerns about physical work, and also had limited retirement savings. Here's what I wish I'd known: the earnings test isn't just about losing money now - those "lost" benefits actually get credited back to you at full retirement age, so it's more like forced savings than a penalty. BUT the real issue is cash flow - you need money to live on TODAY. My recommendation based on your situation: try to find less physical work (even if it pays less) and aim for claiming at 64-65. This gives you a much smaller permanent reduction (13-20% vs 30%) and gets you closer to Medicare eligibility. I ended up taking a part-time customer service job that paid about $10k/year - enough to qualify for some assistance programs but not enough to trigger major earnings test issues. It was tough for a year, but claiming at 65 instead of 62 means I get an extra $400/month for life. Don't let fear push you into a hasty decision. Talk to SSA directly (use that Claimyr service someone mentioned), and maybe consider contacting your local Area Agency on Aging - they often have benefits counselors who can help you explore all your options.

my neighbor said she got extra $$ from SS by calling and asking for whats called a "benefit recalculation" after she stopped working. might be worth trying

I'm sorry to hear about your health challenges, Charlie. Unfortunately, the other commenters are correct - you cannot switch to SSDI after reaching your Full Retirement Age. However, I'd strongly encourage you to follow up on that benefit recalculation suggestion! Since you worked part-time until recently, those earnings from ages 62-67 might have increased your benefit amount. SSA is supposed to automatically recalculate annually, but sometimes they miss it or there are delays. Call them and specifically ask for a "benefit recalculation" based on your recent work history. Even a small increase would help with your medical expenses. Also, make sure to check if you qualify for any Medicare assistance programs for your arthritis medications - every little bit helps when you're on a fixed income.

One more thing to consider - if your son qualifies for both SSI and disabled adult child benefits (CDB/DAC) on your record, there are complicated rules about which pays first. If the SSA retroactively determined he was eligible for the higher DAC benefits on your record after initially putting him on SSI, this could explain part of the confusion with the overpayment and underpayment notices. When he gets DAC benefits on your record, this can reduce or eliminate his SSI, but might result in a higher total payment. It's extremely complex and SSA reps often get confused themselves about how these programs interact.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this nightmare! As someone who has navigated similar SSA bureaucratic messes, I wanted to share a few things that might help: First, DEFINITELY file that SSA-632 waiver form that others mentioned - you have a strong case since this was clearly their system error, not anything you did wrong. Second, I'd suggest keeping a detailed log of every interaction you have with SSA going forward. Write down dates, times, who you spoke with, and exactly what was said. This documentation becomes crucial if you need to escalate or appeal. Also, consider reaching out to your local congressperson's office. They often have staff who specialize in helping constituents with federal agency issues like this. Sometimes a call from a congressional office can get things moving faster than months of individual effort. The fact that they're acknowledging he qualifies for adult disabled child benefits AND that they owe him back payments suggests they know they messed up. Don't let them intimidate you into just accepting this overpayment - you have rights and options here. Stay strong - this kind of bureaucratic mess is frustrating beyond words, but it IS fixable with persistence!

my neighbor said if you work over the limit they just take it back later not right away

I'm in a similar situation - turning 62 soon and trying to figure out the best strategy. One thing I learned from my research is that you should also consider the tax implications. If you're working and collecting SS, your benefits might become taxable depending on your "combined income" (adjusted gross income + nontaxable interest + half of SS benefits). For single filers, if combined income is over $25,000, up to 50% of benefits are taxable. Over $34,000 and up to 85% can be taxable. This could affect your overall financial picture even if you stay under the earnings limit.