As someone who's been through the SSA maze myself, I can confirm what others have said - you absolutely CAN choose the higher survivor benefit between your ex-husband and current husband when the time comes. The 10+ year marriage rule for your first marriage is key here, and since you were married almost 12 years, you're covered. One thing I'd add that hasn't been mentioned much is to keep detailed records of BOTH spouses' work histories if possible. When I applied, having information about approximate earnings helped the SSA representative give me a better estimate during my appointment. Also, don't forget that if you're still working when you start collecting survivor benefits before your Full Retirement Age, there are earnings limits that could reduce your benefits temporarily. The strategy that @Zara Khan mentioned about potentially taking a reduced survivor benefit first and switching later is really smart - it's called "claim and switch" and can maximize your lifetime benefits in some situations. Definitely worth exploring with a benefits counselor when you get closer to 60!

I wanted to add something that might be helpful for your planning - consider also looking into whether either of your husbands has or will have government pensions (federal, state, local). If so, the Government Pension Offset (GPO) could reduce any spousal or survivor benefits you might receive by 2/3 of the pension amount. This doesn't affect your own Social Security benefit, but it could significantly impact which survivor benefit option gives you the most money. Since you're in a planning phase, it's worth asking both spouses about any government employment in their work history. I learned about this the hard way when my friend's teacher's pension nearly eliminated her Social Security survivor benefit. The SSA website has a GPO calculator that can help you estimate the impact if this applies to your situation.

Thank you everyone for all this helpful information! I've decided to: 1) File the SSA-632 waiver form TODAY, 2) Contact legal aid in my county tomorrow morning, 3) Submit a FOIA request for my file, and 4) Try to make an in-person appointment at my local office. If legal aid can't help, I'll look for an attorney who specializes in Social Security and works on contingency. I feel so much better having a plan now. Will update once I have news!

Good luck Emily! You have a really solid plan there. I went through something similar a few years ago and keeping that detailed log like Amara mentioned was crucial - I had to reference it multiple times during my hearing. Also, when you go in person to the SSA office, bring copies of EVERYTHING and ask them to put a note in your file about what documents you showed them. Sometimes things get "lost" in the system and having that paper trail saved me. Rooting for you!

wait i just realized something - if ur ex passed away recently shouldn't you be getting more money not less? my aunt got survivor benefits and it was way more than her own SS check

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this stressful situation! As someone new to Social Security, this thread has been really eye-opening about how complex these overpayment situations can be. From what everyone is saying, it sounds like you have several options to explore. The suggestion about Form SSA-634 to request a lower recovery rate seems particularly promising, especially since you can demonstrate financial hardship. I also think the idea of requesting a temporary reduction until your FRA next year is brilliant - that shows you're willing to work with them while acknowledging your current financial constraints. One thing that struck me from reading all these responses is how important it is to get everything documented in writing going forward. It seems like verbal agreements with SSA aren't reliable, unfortunately. I hope you're able to get this resolved quickly and get back to the $145 amount you originally agreed to. Please keep us posted on how it goes - your experience could really help others who might face similar situations!

To clarify for everyone: When you apply for benefits in your first year of retirement, you need to: 1) Tell SSA you're retiring or significantly reducing work that month 2) Stay under the monthly limit for each month you receive benefits 3) Verify they coded your application for the monthly earnings test 4) Keep documentation of your work reduction If you do all that, then yes, your pre-retirement earnings in 2025 won't count against you. But you must actually reduce your work when you say you're going to.

Just wanted to add one more important point - when you apply in June, make sure you get written confirmation from SSA that they're applying the monthly earnings test to your case. I've seen too many situations where people thought they were set up correctly but SSA was actually using the annual test. You can request this confirmation in writing or ask for a receipt showing how they coded your retirement date. This will save you a lot of headaches later if there's any confusion about which test applies to your situation.

also just wanna say the whole $2000 limit is ridiculous in 2025!!! how is anyone supposed to save anything with that stupid rule??? cant even have emergency savings without losing benefits smh

I'm new to this community but wanted to share what I learned when I had a similar situation last year. I received a $1,800 class action settlement and was terrified about losing my SSI benefits. After doing some research and talking to a benefits counselor, I found out there are actually several options beyond just the basic "spend down" rule that others have mentioned: 1. **Irrevocable burial/funeral trusts** (as many have mentioned) - completely exempt from resource limits 2. **ABLE accounts** - if you became disabled before age 26, you can put up to $18,000/year into these special savings accounts that don't count toward SSI limits 3. **Plan to Achieve Self-Support (PASS)** - even for smaller amounts, you might be able to use this to set aside money for work-related goals The burial trust option sounds perfect for your situation since the money originally came from a pre-need plan anyway. Just make sure it's set up as an irrevocable trust specifically for burial/funeral expenses. Also, definitely report it within the 10-day window - that's mandatory regardless of which option you choose. The SSA takes unreported resources very seriously and will eventually find out through data matching with banks and other agencies. Good luck! The system is complicated but there are legitimate ways to handle this without losing your benefits.