you should check out ABLE accounts if you get disability!! we set one up for my husband and it lets you save money without losing benefits. theres income limits for SSI but not SSDI but the ABLE account is still helpful for planning

I'm going through a similar situation right now at 59 with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. Based on my research and consultation with a disability attorney, here's what I've learned that might help you: First, start documenting EVERYTHING now - keep a daily symptom journal, get regular medical appointments, and make sure your doctors are noting functional limitations, not just diagnoses. The SSA wants to see how your conditions prevent you from working ANY job, not just your current one. Second, consider applying for SSDI while you're still working if your condition worsens. You can work part-time and earn up to $1,550/month (2025 limit) during the application process without it affecting your claim. Third, regarding your wife's potential spousal benefits - she could claim on your SSDI record starting at 62, but it would be reduced. However, if she also qualifies for SSDI on her own record, that might be more advantageous since there's no age reduction for disability benefits. One thing that really opened my eyes: my attorney said to think of SSDI as "pre-paying" for your full retirement benefit. You've already earned it through your work credits, and disability just lets you access it early without the typical early retirement penalties. The process is daunting, but don't let that discourage you from applying if you genuinely can't work. Start gathering your medical records now - you'll need them either way.

Just wanted to add one more consideration that might be relevant - if your mom's boyfriend is currently 62 and taking reduced benefits, his monthly payment will continue to be reduced for the rest of his life. However, when he passes away (hopefully many years from now), your mom as his surviving spouse would be eligible for survivor benefits based on what he WOULD have received at his full retirement age, not his reduced amount. So even if the spousal benefit doesn't help her now, the marriage could still provide valuable survivor protection down the road. This is different from the spousal benefit calculation and something else to factor into their decision. Of course, nobody likes to think about these scenarios, but it's part of the overall financial picture when considering remarriage at this stage of life.

Great thread with lots of helpful information! I just wanted to add that when your mom calls SSA to get the estimate, she should also ask about the "deemed filing" rules. Since she's already receiving her own retirement benefit and is past full retirement age, if she does become eligible for a spousal benefit after marriage, SSA will automatically pay her the higher of the two amounts. But it's still worth understanding exactly how they calculate everything so there are no surprises. Also, if they do decide to get married, make sure to keep good records of the marriage date since SSA will need proof of the marriage duration when she applies for any spousal benefits. A certified copy of the marriage certificate will be required. Good luck to your mom - it sounds like you're doing a great job helping her navigate this complex decision!

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation! Everyone here has given you the correct information - the 10-year marriage requirement is absolutely firm for divorced spouse benefits, no exceptions. But don't lose hope about your own benefits! I went through something similar and was pleasantly surprised when I finally got my official estimate. The Social Security formula is actually designed to help people with lower lifetime earnings - it replaces a higher percentage of pre-retirement income for lower earners. Even if you only worked part-time or had gaps, those years of contributions add up. I'd strongly recommend scheduling an appointment at your local SSA office (or using that Claimyr service someone mentioned if you can't get through by phone) to go over all your options. They can also help you understand if working a few more years before claiming might significantly boost your benefit amount. Sometimes just a couple more years of even part-time work can make a real difference in your monthly payment!

I understand how frustrating this must be for you! Just to add to what everyone has shared - while the 10-year marriage rule is indeed firm, don't forget that you might also want to explore whether you qualify for any other types of Social Security benefits. For instance, if you become disabled before reaching retirement age, the work requirements for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) are different and based on recent work activity rather than lifetime earnings. Also, once you do start collecting your own retirement benefits, if your financial situation is still tight, you might be eligible for other assistance programs like SNAP, Medicaid, or housing assistance that can help stretch your Social Security dollars further. The important thing is not to give up - there are often more options available than people realize, even when the obvious path (like ex-spouse benefits) isn't available to you.

I'm also approaching Social Security eligibility and this has been such a valuable discussion! Reading through everyone's experiences, it's clear that certified mail is the safest route for submitting the W-4V form. I particularly appreciate Ingrid's tip about calling to confirm receipt - that proactive approach seems much better than waiting and wondering. One thing I'm curious about - for those who have gone through this process, did any of you end up needing to make quarterly estimated tax payments in addition to the Social Security withholding? I'm trying to figure out if the standard withholding percentages (7%, 10%, 12%, 22%) are typically sufficient or if most people need to supplement with quarterly payments. I have some investment income that might complicate things, so I want to make sure I'm not caught off guard come tax time. Also, has anyone used a tax professional to help calculate the right withholding percentage? I'm wondering if it's worth the consultation fee to get it right from the start rather than guessing and adjusting later.

This thread has been incredibly helpful for someone just starting to navigate Social Security withholding! I'm 67 and just filed for my benefits last week. Based on everyone's experiences here, I'm definitely going the certified mail route for my W-4V form. I wanted to add one more option that worked well for my sister last year - she actually submitted her W-4V through her MySocialSecurity online account. There's a "Contact Us" section where you can upload documents securely. She got an automatic confirmation that it was received, and the withholding started within about 2 weeks. This might be worth checking if you're comfortable with the online portal and want that digital confirmation receipt. Thanks especially to Maria for starting this discussion and to everyone who shared their real experiences - both the success stories and the cautionary tales about drop boxes!

As someone who recently went through Social Security planning with my elderly parents, I wanted to add that it's also worth considering the tax implications of survivor benefits. Your wife's survivor benefit would be subject to the same federal income tax rules as regular Social Security benefits - so if her total income (including the survivor benefit) exceeds certain thresholds, up to 85% of the benefit could be taxable. Since she'd be receiving a higher monthly amount ($3,100 vs whatever she's getting now), this might push her into a higher tax bracket. It's something to factor into your overall financial planning. Also, make sure she knows that Medicare premiums are typically deducted directly from Social Security payments, so the actual amount she receives might be slightly less than the gross benefit amount.

As a newcomer to this community, I wanted to share something I learned recently that might be helpful for your situation. When my aunt was dealing with survivor benefits, she discovered that Social Security has a "deemed filing" rule that can be confusing. Since your wife has already filed for her own retirement benefits, when she becomes eligible for survivor benefits, she'll automatically be deemed to have filed for both - but she'll only receive the higher amount, not both. The good news is that since she's already past her FRA, there won't be any reduction to the survivor benefit due to early filing. One thing that really helped my aunt was creating a timeline document showing when each benefit started and what the projected survivor benefit would be, which made it much easier when she had to meet with SSA later. Also, don't forget that if you have any delayed retirement credits by waiting past your FRA, those will increase the survivor benefit amount too!