DONT WAIT TOO LONG to apply!! You only have 2 years from the date of death to claim the lump sum death benefit!! Ask me how I know... missed out because I waited too long dealing with everything else after my husband passed.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I just went through this same process when my grandmother passed away last month. Your mother absolutely qualifies for the $255 death benefit - the nursing home stay doesn't affect eligibility at all. What helped us was going to the local SSA office in person instead of trying to call. We brought the death certificate, marriage certificate, and my grandmother's Social Security card. The whole process took about 30 minutes once we got seen. Also, like others mentioned, make sure she asks about survivor benefits if your father's monthly amount was higher than what she's currently receiving. The staff there were actually very helpful and compassionate during what was obviously a difficult time for our family.

I'm really sorry you're going through this confusing situation. As others have mentioned, your sister was correct - survivor benefits for a surviving spouse do stop when you remarry before age 60. The good news is that you've been incredibly responsible by saving those payments! One additional tip: when you visit the SSA office, bring documentation of EVERYTHING. Your marriage certificate, records of when you reported the name change, and if possible, try to remember the name or employee number of the person who told you the benefits would continue. This documentation could be crucial if you decide to pursue the overpayment waiver that Marina mentioned. Also, don't feel bad about this mistake - the SSA's own training materials acknowledge that the remarriage rules are one of the most commonly misunderstood aspects of survivor benefits, even among their own staff. You did the right thing by asking and following the guidance you were given. Your son's benefits will definitely continue unchanged, which is one less thing to worry about. Stay strong - you've handled this situation very responsibly so far!

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this stressful situation! As a newcomer to this community, I wanted to share that I went through something very similar with my late husband's benefits. The remarriage rules are honestly one of the most confusing parts of the Social Security system. Everyone here has given you excellent advice - your benefits should have stopped when you remarried before age 60, but your son's will continue. The fact that you've been saving the money shows incredible foresight and responsibility. One thing I'd add is to keep detailed notes of every conversation you have with SSA going forward - date, time, employee name/ID if possible, and what was discussed. This documentation could be really helpful, especially given the conflicting information you've received. Also, when you do visit the local office, consider asking to speak with a supervisor if the first person you talk to seems uncertain about the remarriage rules. You deserve clear, accurate information, and it's okay to advocate for yourself to get it. You're handling this difficult situation with such grace and responsibility. Hang in there - once you get this sorted out, at least you'll have peace of mind knowing exactly where you stand!

Just wanted to add one more important point that might affect your decision - if your ex-husband remarries, it won't impact your eligibility for divorced spouse benefits or survivor benefits at all. His new marriage has zero effect on your benefits as long as YOU remain unmarried. I mention this because I see a lot of people worry unnecessarily about what their ex does after divorce. The 10+ year marriage rule protects your rights regardless of his future relationships. Also, since you mentioned having kids together - if any of your children are still under 18 (or disabled), they might be eligible for benefits on their father's SSDI record too. That's a separate benefit that doesn't reduce what you could get. Good luck with your SSA appointment! Having all the numbers will really help you make the best choice for your situation.

I'm glad you're taking the time to research this thoroughly before making a decision! As someone who went through a similar situation with my ex-spouse's SSDI benefits, I wanted to add that when you meet with the SSA representative, make sure to ask about the "protected filing date" concept. If you're leaning toward waiting but are concerned about missing out on benefits, you can sometimes file a protective claim that establishes your filing date while you gather more information. This can be especially helpful if you're close to a birthday that might affect your benefit calculations. Also, don't be discouraged if the first representative you speak with seems unsure about divorced spouse benefits - unfortunately, not all SSA staff are equally knowledgeable about these more complex situations. If you don't feel confident in the answers you receive, it's perfectly acceptable to request to speak with a supervisor or schedule another appointment. One last tip: bring a copy of your divorce decree that shows the exact marriage dates. Sometimes there can be confusion about whether you truly meet the 10-year requirement, especially if there were separations before the final divorce.

My friend works for SS (not giving advice just sharing what I know) - definitely call the main number not your local office. The national line has access to more info. And keep calling until you get someone helpful cuz some reps are way better than others honestly

Just checking back - were you able to get through to someone who could help? The situation with multiple families definitely complicates things, but 4 months is still excessive for not even having an update.

For 2025, the earnings test limit is $23,400 annually (or $1,950 monthly) for beneficiaries under their full retirement age. If your wife earns more than this from her part-time work, they'll reduce her benefits by $1 for every $2 over the limit. This applies to both her own retirement benefit AND any spousal benefit increase she receives. However, these aren't permanent reductions - once she reaches her full retirement age, SSA will recalculate and give her credit for any months benefits were withheld due to earnings. Given that she's working 15 hours a week in retail, you'll want to estimate her annual earnings and factor this into your planning. The SSA website has a good earnings test calculator, or you can discuss the specifics when you file your application.

This is such a helpful thread! I'm in a somewhat similar situation - my husband will be filing for his benefits next year and I've been collecting my own reduced benefit since I turned 62 three years ago. Reading through everyone's experiences has really clarified how the spousal benefit works. One thing I wanted to add that might be helpful for others is to make sure you have your most recent Social Security statement handy when you call or visit SSA. They often reference your Primary Insurance Amount and earnings history during these conversations, and having that information readily available can make the process smoother. Also, I've found that visiting the local SSA office in person (if possible) sometimes gets better results than trying to reach them by phone, especially for complex situations like spousal benefits. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences - it's so valuable to hear from people who have actually been through this process!