I'm so sorry for your sister's loss. This is a difficult time, and it's wonderful that you're stepping up to help her navigate this complex process. One thing I'd like to add that others haven't mentioned - when you call SSA to schedule your appointment, ask if they can arrange to meet at your local SSA office rather than requiring your sister to travel to an unfamiliar location. Some offices can accommodate special circumstances, especially when cognitive disabilities are involved. Also, consider bringing a trusted friend or family member to the appointment as an additional witness/support person. This can sometimes help the process go more smoothly and provides an extra person to take notes if needed. Regarding the banking situation, some credit unions are particularly good at working with people who have disabilities and their representatives. They often have more flexible policies and staff who are trained in these situations. It might be worth calling a few local credit unions in addition to traditional banks. Finally, don't forget to take care of yourself during this process. Being a representative payee is a significant responsibility, and combined with helping your sister grieve, it can be emotionally and mentally taxing. Make sure you have support too.

I went through a very similar situation with my adult daughter who has autism when my husband passed away two years ago. Here are a few additional practical tips that might help: 1. When you call SSA, try calling right when they open (8am local time) - you'll have better luck getting through. If you get disconnected, don't give up. It took me 4 tries over 2 days to finally reach someone. 2. For the appointment, bring a simple one-page summary of your sister's daily care needs and why she can't manage finances independently. This helped the SSA worker understand the situation quickly during our interview. 3. Regarding banking, Wells Fargo and Bank of America both have specific procedures for representative payee accounts. I ended up with a local community bank that was much more patient and helpful with the setup process. 4. Start a simple filing system now - one folder for SSA paperwork, one for bank statements, one for receipts. You'll thank yourself later when it's time for that annual report. The process feels overwhelming at first, but once everything is set up, it becomes much more manageable. Your sister is lucky to have someone who cares so much looking out for her during this difficult time.

As someone who's been helping community members navigate Social Security issues for years, I want to reinforce the excellent clarification that's been provided here. The confusion between the earnings test and benefit taxation is probably the #1 misconception I see among widow/widower benefit recipients. Just to add one more practical tip: if you're planning both a 401k withdrawal AND a home sale in the same year, consider doing a rough calculation of your "combined income" first (adjusted gross income + non-taxable interest + half of Social Security benefits). If this pushes you significantly over the thresholds ($25,000 for single filers, $32,000 for married filing jointly), you might want to stagger the transactions across tax years as others have mentioned. Also, don't forget that you can always do a "trial run" calculation using tax software or consult with a tax professional before making any major moves. The peace of mind is worth the small investment, especially when you're dealing with amounts like $165,000 in home sale profits. Knowledge is power when it comes to protecting your financial security!

This entire discussion has been incredibly enlightening! As someone who recently joined this community after starting my own widow benefit journey, I can't express how grateful I am for the clear explanations everyone has provided. The distinction between the earnings test and benefit taxation was completely lost on me before reading this thread - I was operating under the same fear that @9a9cad992cbb initially had about losing benefits from retirement withdrawals. What really strikes me is how this conversation demonstrates the importance of getting information from multiple sources and asking follow-up questions. The initial conflicting responses show how easy it is to get confused about these rules, but the community really came together to provide accurate, detailed information. I'm especially appreciative of the practical tips about timing withdrawals, keeping good records, and getting written confirmation from SSA. For anyone else who might be reading this as a newcomer like me - don't be afraid to ask questions in this community. The knowledge and experience shared here is invaluable, and it's clear that people genuinely want to help each other navigate these complex systems during what is already a difficult time in our lives.

For finding a qualified Social Security planner, look for fee-only financial advisors who hold the RSSA (Registered Social Security Analyst) designation or similar credentials. The National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA) has a directory where you can search for fee-only planners in your area. You can also check the Financial Planning Association (FPA) website. Make sure to ask specifically about their experience with Social Security claiming strategies and survivor benefits - not all financial planners specialize in this area. Some charge a flat fee just for Social Security analysis (usually $500-1500), which might be worth it given the complexity of your situation and the long-term financial impact of the timing decision.

I went through a very similar situation when I turned 60 in 2022. You're correct that May 2026 will be your first month of eligibility since that's when you turn 60, regardless of it being the 10th. The earnings test applies immediately - I learned this the hard way when I earned $2,100 in my first eligible month and lost my entire benefit for that month. One thing I'd add to the great advice here: if you're planning to work past 60, consider asking your employer about flexible scheduling options. Some people negotiate to work 4 days a week or take unpaid time off strategically to stay under the monthly limit. Also, keep very detailed records of your monthly earnings - SSA may ask for documentation later, and having W-2s, pay stubs, and a monthly tracking spreadsheet saved me a lot of headaches during my annual review. The decision between taking survivor benefits at 60 vs waiting really depends on your health, financial needs, and life expectancy assumptions. Since your husband's benefit is significantly higher than your own, maximizing that survivor benefit should probably be your priority. Good luck with your planning!

One more thing to consider - if you're taking care of any children or dependents with disabilities that your late husband was supporting (even if not biological children), there might be benefits available to them. Also, while the 9-month marriage rule is generally strict, there are occasionally unique circumstances where SSA can make exceptions. For anyone dealing with a similar situation, it's worth filing an application even if you think you'll be denied, because: 1. The application establishes your protective filing date 2. You get a formal, appealable decision 3. Sometimes unusual circumstances do result in exceptions In your specific case, since you mentioned you're 58 now, the most viable path would likely be examining benefits based on your 10+ year first marriage when you reach age 62, while comparing that amount to what you'd receive on your own record.

wait i'm confused...if you were with him for 16 years why did you only get married 6 months before he died? not judging just wondering if there was a reason because that timing seems important

Just wanted to follow up - did you get this resolved? What did your attorney say?

That's fantastic news! So glad to hear your accommodation was approved. Your experience really reinforces what others have said here - having proper medical documentation makes all the difference. This thread will be really helpful for other people facing the same situation. Best of luck with your hearing in May!