my friend says if u were married less than 10 years u get less. but i think thats for divorce not death???

I called SSA again this morning and spoke with a different representative. They confirmed what most of you said - I'm eligible for 100% of my husband's benefit at my FRA regardless of what his ex-wife may receive. They explained the first representative confused spousal and survivor benefits rules. They also confirmed our 15-month marriage satisfies the 9-month requirement. I'll be able to choose between my own retirement benefit or the survivor benefit, whichever is higher. I'm so relieved and grateful for everyone's help here! It's frustrating to get incorrect information that caused me unnecessary worry.

This is incredibly helpful! I've been struggling with my disability review for months and getting nowhere with the 800 number. They keep telling me my case is "under review" but can't give me any specifics about what documents they need or when it might be completed. The uncertainty is driving me crazy because I'm worried they might cut off my benefits while I'm waiting. I had no idea local offices had direct numbers - I always assumed everything went through the national system. I'm definitely going to drive to my local office this week to get their direct number. Even if it takes 25-30 minutes to get through like some people mentioned, that's still way better than the 2-3 hour waits on the 800 number that often end in disconnections. Thanks for sharing this - it gives me hope that I can actually get some real answers about my case status!

This thread has been a goldmine of information! I'm dealing with a similar situation where my SSI payments suddenly stopped three weeks ago with no explanation. The 800 number has been absolutely useless - I've called 12 times and gotten 12 different answers ranging from "computer glitch" to "you need to reapply" to "just wait it out." Meanwhile, I can't pay rent or buy groceries! I never knew about these direct local office numbers either. The fact that SSA doesn't publicize them feels intentionally cruel - like they're banking on people giving up out of frustration. I'm definitely driving to my local office tomorrow morning to get their direct number. Even if I have to sit in the parking lot all day making calls, it has to be better than this endless runaround. Thank you so much for sharing this - you may have literally saved my housing situation!

Update: I called SSA again today and finally got through after a 2.5 hour wait! The agent confirmed I do qualify for survivor benefits since we were married exactly 9 months. She said I can receive 100% of his benefit amount since I'm at full retirement age for survivors. I have an appointment next week to complete the application. Thank you everyone for your help and advice!

Maya, I'm so glad you were able to get through and get confirmation about your eligibility! That 2.5 hour wait sounds absolutely brutal, but it's great that the agent confirmed you qualify for the full survivor benefit. Just wanted to add that when you go to your appointment, it might be helpful to ask about when your first payment will arrive - sometimes there can be a processing delay of several weeks. Also, since you mentioned you were planning to file for your own retirement benefits anyway, you might want to ask them to run the numbers on both scenarios to make sure the survivor benefit is indeed the better option for your specific situation. Best of luck with your appointment next week!

Thank you all SO much for these insights. I'm learning toward waiting until my FRA now to avoid the headache of documentation and possible disputes with SSA. But if I do decide to claim early, I'll definitely: 1. Get professional advice about structuring my practice 2. Set up meticulous documentation of all work hours 3. Create clear boundaries showing reduced work schedule 4. Use that Claimyr service to actually speak with someone at SSA before making my decision Never realized what a complicated mess this would be as a self-employed person. The SSA publications make it seem much simpler than it actually is in practice!

As someone who's been through the self-employment SS claiming process, I'd strongly recommend creating a detailed work log NOW, even if you don't claim for another year or two. I wish I had started documenting earlier - SSA wanted records going back months when I applied. For your therapy practice specifically, track: actual client session hours, documentation/notes time, insurance billing hours, and any administrative work. Also note when you're genuinely "off" - weekends, evenings, vacation days. This creates a clear picture of reduced work activity that SSA looks for. One thing that helped me was establishing set office hours (like 9-3, M-Th only) and sticking to them religiously. It shows intentional retirement from full-time work, not just temporary reduced income. Your gradual client reduction plan over 4-5 years could work well if properly documented as a retirement transition rather than just business fluctuation. The burnout factor is real - sometimes the peace of mind from claiming early (even with reduced benefits) outweighs the financial optimization of waiting. Just make sure you understand exactly what you're getting into with the earnings test compliance.

I'm a social worker who helps families navigate SSA issues, and I want to emphasize something important that hasn't been fully addressed yet - the timing of when your son turned 18 versus when the overpayment period began. Since your son was still a minor in April 2023 when the overpayment allegedly started, there's a strong argument that he cannot be held responsible for payments made while he was under 18. Minors have legal protections specifically because they cannot be expected to understand complex benefit rules or monitor their parents' medical status. I'd recommend adding this to your waiver documentation: highlight that he was 17 years old when the overpayment began and had no legal capacity to understand or act on information about his mother's disability status even if he had somehow received it. Also, make sure to document his current financial situation thoroughly - full-time student status, part-time income, basic living expenses. SSA considers educational expenses as legitimate financial hardship factors. Include documentation of tuition, books, transportation, and any other school-related costs. The fact that you're helping with some expenses actually strengthens the hardship argument rather than weakening it - it shows his income alone isn't sufficient to cover basic needs, let alone an $8,000+ debt.

I went through something very similar with my daughter about two years ago when she was hit with an $11,000 overpayment demand after her father's disability status changed. The whole experience was a nightmare, but I wanted to share what ultimately worked for us. First, the minor protection argument that GalaxyGuardian mentioned is absolutely crucial - we emphasized heavily that our daughter was 16-17 during most of the overpayment period and legally could not have been expected to monitor her father's medical status or understand the implications. This seemed to carry significant weight with the decision makers. Second, we discovered that SSA has an internal policy about "equitable relief" for cases where their own administrative delays contributed to the problem. In our case, they had determined the medical improvement months before they stopped the payments, but never notified us. We argued that their delay in stopping payments made the overpayment worse than it should have been. The waiver was initially denied, but we appealed with additional documentation including school transcripts, financial aid records, and a detailed breakdown of all educational expenses. We also got a statement from her college confirming that maintaining full-time status required limiting work hours. The appeal was successful - they ultimately waived about 85% of the overpayment and put her on a $25/month payment plan for the remainder. Don't lose hope if the initial waiver is denied. The appeals process really does work when you have a strong case like yours. Your son being a minor for part of the period and having no contact with his mother creates a very compelling "without fault" argument. Keep fighting this - they absolutely should not be able to financially devastate a college student over their own administrative failures.