Survivor benefits for widow with minor child - Will SS amount change after kids turn 18?
Lost my wife unexpectedly 3 years ago after 15 years of marriage. Our two children (13 and 10) currently receive survivor benefits, which has been a financial lifeline. I'm trying to understand what happens when they age out of these benefits at 18/high school graduation. My main questions about Social Security survivor benefits: 1. When my kids no longer qualify for benefits, will I still be eligible for survivor benefits as a widower? I'm currently 47. 2. If I wait until my FRA to claim, will I get my wife's full benefit amount or just a portion added to mine? 3. I worked consistently from age 18-31, then had a 5-year gap while being primary caregiver, and now work part-time due to my younger child's health needs. 4. Is there an earnings limit for me that affects what my CHILDREN receive? I'm confused about whether my income impacts their benefits. 5. How would remarriage affect my future survivor benefits? I've tried reading the SSA website but got lost in the technical language. Appreciate any insights from those who've navigated this complicated system.
24 comments
Fernanda Marquez
I can help clarify this for you. Let me address your questions one by one: 1. Yes, as a widower, you'll be eligible for survivor benefits, but typically not until you reach age 60 (unless you're disabled, then it's age 50). There's a gap period between when your children age out and when you can claim. 2. At your Full Retirement Age (FRA), you can receive 100% of your deceased wife's benefit amount. If you claim earlier (starting at 60), it will be reduced to about 71.5% at the earliest claiming age. 3. Your work history will determine your own benefit. When it's time to claim, you'll get either your own benefit OR your wife's survivor benefit, whichever is higher (not both). 4. YOUR earnings don't affect what your CHILDREN receive in survivor benefits. Their benefits continue regardless of your income. However, if THEY earn over the annual limit (which is $22,320 in 2025), their own benefits could be reduced. 5. If you remarry before age 60, you generally cannot collect survivor benefits on your deceased wife's record. If you remarry after 60, you can still receive survivor benefits based on your deceased wife's record.
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Aidan Percy
•Thank you for such a clear explanation! So there will be a gap period where none of us receive benefits (after kids age out but before I hit 60). That's important to plan for financially. One follow-up question - if I were to become disabled before 60, would I be eligible for survivor benefits at 50? My younger child has health issues that seem to be hereditary, so I'm concerned about my own health down the road.
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Norman Fraser
My condolences for your loss. Been there too (lost husband 8 years ago). Just want to say ur income doesnt matter for kids benefits BUT if ur kids have jobs when theyre teenagers and make over a certain amount it can affect THEIR benefits. My son lost part of his check when he worked too much one summer. The SSA sent a letter later saying he owed money back!
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Aidan Percy
•Thank you for sharing your experience. I didn't realize the kids could actually owe money back if they earn too much! That's definitely something to keep in mind as they get older and might want summer jobs. Did the SSA give you any warning about the earnings limit before your son exceeded it?
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Kendrick Webb
I went through this EXACT situation!!! My husband died when we were both 42, married 14 years, with kids who were 11 and 13 at the time. The MOST IMPORTANT thing - you have to budget for what they call the "blackout period" - thats the gap between when your youngest turns 18 and when you turn 60. NO benefits during that time! I found this out too late and it caused me major financial problems. ALSO IMPORTANT - if you remarry before 60, you LOSE your right to your late wife's survivor benefits FOREVER. I almost remarried at 55 but waited until after 60 specifically because of this. Social Security rules are BRUTAL for widowers in their 50s!!!
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Aidan Percy
•The "blackout period" sounds terrifying financially. I'll have about 5-6 years between when my youngest graduates high school and when I turn 60. That's a significant gap to plan for. The remarriage rule is also good to know. I'm not currently in a relationship, but it's important to understand how that would affect benefits down the road. I appreciate you sharing your experience - it helps to hear from someone who's been through the same situation.
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Hattie Carson
I had similar questions after my spouse passed. Spent WEEKS trying to reach someone at Social Security to explain my options. Constantly disconnected or on hold for hours. Finally found this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an actual SSA agent in under 20 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU The agent I spoke with explained that your survivor benefit options depend on your age at claim and your own work record. They helped me understand the blackout period everyone is mentioning and gave me personalized advice about maximizing my benefits. Worth talking to an actual SSA agent about your specific situation.
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Destiny Bryant
•Does that service actually work? I've been trying to reach SSA for 3 weeks about my disability application. I'll try anything at this point lol
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Hattie Carson
•Yes, it worked for me! I was skeptical too, but after trying to get through on my own for days, I was desperate. They got me through to an agent who answered all my questions about survivor benefits timing. Definitely helped me understand my options better than trying to figure it out from the website.
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Dyllan Nantx
The SSA has TERRIBLE rules for widows/widowers! The system basically forces you to either: 1. Stay single until 60 (or lose benefits) 2. Survive with NO benefits during the "blackout period" 3. Try to save enough during the years your kids get benefits I'm going through this right now at 57 - my last kid aged out 2 years ago and I have THREE MORE YEARS with no benefits. It's CRUEL that they make us wait until 60! And don't get me started on the RIDICULOUS earnings limit if you claim survivor benefits between 60-FRA. They take away $1 in benefits for every $2 you earn above their limit. The whole system PUNISHES working widows/widowers!!!!!
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Aidan Percy
•I had no idea the system was so complicated. Three years with no benefits sounds really tough. Are you still able to work full-time during your blackout period? I'm concerned about my ability to work full-time given my caregiving responsibilities for my younger child.
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Dyllan Nantx
•Yes, I'm working full-time to make up for the lost benefits. It's the ONLY way to survive the blackout period. If you have caregiving responsibilities that limit your work, you should REALLY start saving now while the kids are still getting benefits. The system gives us ZERO support during those gap years! I'm barely keeping afloat financially - DON'T end up like me if you can help it!
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TillyCombatwarrior
Hey my aunt was in your shoes few years back. She said for the kids, once they turn 18 or graduate high school (whichever is later) benefits stop. If your kid is disabled before 22 they can keep getting them tho.
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Aidan Percy
•Thanks for that info. My younger one does have some health issues, but probably not enough to qualify as disabled by SSA standards. It's good to know that option exists though.
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Fernanda Marquez
To address your follow-up question about disability: Yes, if you become disabled before age 60, you could potentially receive survivor benefits as early as age 50. The SSA defines disability quite strictly though - you need to be unable to perform substantial gainful activity (SGA). Regarding planning for the "blackout period" others have mentioned, here are some strategies: 1. Maximize retirement account contributions now if possible 2. Consider long-term disability insurance while you're still working 3. Look into whether your state has any support programs for caregivers 4. If your younger child has significant health issues, explore whether they might qualify for benefits under their own record Finally, you might want to request your Social Security statement through your mySocialSecurity account to see what your own benefit amount might be at various ages. This will help you better compare your own benefit versus survivor benefits when that time comes.
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Aidan Percy
•I'll definitely look into disability insurance and check my own Social Security statement. I haven't created a mySocialSecurity account yet, but that sounds like an important step. Thanks for the detailed advice about planning for the blackout period - I need to be much more proactive about saving for that gap than I have been.
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Norman Fraser
They never warned us about the earnings limit! Just got a letter later saying my son made too much and we owed back $1200. Was a huge shock! Now I tell him he can't work more than about 20 hrs a week during school year or he loses benefits. Sucks cause he wants to save for college.
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Kendrick Webb
Just saw your question about the kids possibly owing money back. YES this happened to us too! My daughter got a job at 17 and worked too many hours one summer. We had NO IDEA there was an earnings limit for the kids. SSA sent us a notice 8 months later saying she owed back $2,800!!! I couldn't believe it. The limit for 2025 is $22,320 per year (they adjust it annually). For every $2 earned above that limit, they reduce benefits by $1. Make sure you keep track of your kids' earnings if they start working!!!
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Aidan Percy
•Thank you for the specific numbers! I'll make sure to track this carefully if my kids start working. I wonder if there's a way to proactively report their earnings rather than getting hit with a surprise bill months later? $2,800 is a lot to suddenly owe back.
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Destiny Bryant
im in this situation. lost my wife 2 years ago. kids r 14 and 11 now. im so confused about this whole system. do i get any benefits now as a widower while kids r minors??
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Fernanda Marquez
•You might qualify for Father's Insurance Benefits if you're caring for your children who are under 16 and receiving benefits on your deceased wife's record. There are some requirements: 1. You must be caring for your deceased wife's child who is entitled to child's benefits 2. The child must be under 16 or disabled 3. You haven't remarried 4. You aren't entitled to a retirement benefit that's higher than the father's benefit You should contact the SSA directly to see if you qualify. These benefits would stop when your youngest turns 16, creating that gap period others have mentioned until you reach 60.
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TillyCombatwarrior
My sister went thru all this and she said don't count on the survivor benefits for your retirement planning. She said better to assume you'll just get your own benefits and then survivor benefits are a bonus if they're higher. That way you don't get surprised if the rules change.
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Dyllan Nantx
One more IMPORTANT thing no one mentioned - if you DO qualify for father's benefits while caring for kids under 16, you are subject to the SAME earnings limit that affects people who collect early SS retirement. For 2025, if you earn more than $22,320, they reduce your benefit by $1 for every $2 you earn over the limit. Your KIDS' benefits aren't affected though. The whole system is designed to PUNISH working parents!!!! It's like they WANT us to be financially dependent. I lost out on thousands because I didn't know this rule when my husband died.
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Aidan Percy
•That's incredibly frustrating. So even if I qualified for father's benefits while the kids are under 16, I might lose those benefits due to my part-time work? The system doesn't seem designed to help families actually become financially stable after losing a spouse.
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