Social Security denied my stepchildren's auxiliary benefits - says I pay less than half their expenses

This is actually a common issue with stepchildren and SS benefits. Your stepchildren can only get benefits on your record if they depend on you for at least 50% of their financial support. It doesn't matter how much caregiving you do - the SSA only looks at financial dependency. You should request a formal review and be prepared to show documentation of how much you contribute to household expenses, food, clothing, etc for the kids. The fact that you haven't received a denial letter is weird though - you should definitely have gotten something in writing.

You need to specifically request a reconsideration (Form SSA-561) and gather proof that you contribute at least 50% financially to the children's support. The rule is in the POMS section GN 00306.232 if you want to look it up. For stepchildren, SSA requires actual financial support documentation - things like: - Receipts for clothes, school supplies you purchased - Documentation showing your income goes toward mortgage/rent where children live - Proof you pay for health insurance, food, etc. Also important: if your current income is being counted on your husband's side, but you both pool your money for household expenses, you can argue that your contribution should be seen as a percentage of total household support, not just what comes directly from your paycheck.

When my brother had a similar issue, he couldn't get ANYONE at SSA to pick up the phone for weeks. He tried through the 800 number and his local office. Finally he used a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got him connected to an actual SSA rep in about 20 minutes instead of waiting on hold for hours. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU You definitely need to speak to someone directly about this since there seems to be conflicting information (letters saying you're the payee but verbally being told benefits were denied). Getting through to SSA these days is nearly impossible without help.

I WENT THRU THE EXACT SAME THING!!! The SSA is SO confusing and the left hand doesnt know what the right is doing!!! We got approval letters for my husbands kids from his first marriage then suddenly denied and no one could tell us why for MONTHS!!! Finally found out his ex was also claiming them on HER record and since she had custody they went with her. SSA didn't bother telling us this until we went IN PERSON to the office and threw a fit. Call and DEMAND a "critical case review" - they have to expedite your case if you use those exact words. And get the NAME and ID number of every person you talk to!!!

did you get the letter thats called "Notice of Disapproved Claim" or something? my son got auxiliary benefits on my record and we had to submit lots of proof about who pays what. if your husband pays most bills because he makes more money then unfortunately they probably wont qualify. you need to be paying at least 50% of their support costs and they're super strict about it nowadays with stepkids.

I want to clarify something important here: The fact that you received "representative payee" letters but then were told benefits were denied suggests there might be a processing error in the system. Typically, representative payee letters are only sent AFTER benefits are approved. The fact that you got these letters suggests the benefits were initially approved in the system and then perhaps manually denied later. You should: 1. Request your case file through a Freedom of Information Act request (you have a right to see all documents) 2. File a formal reconsideration (SSA-561) immediately - you have 60 days from denial 3. Provide documentation of your total contribution to the household - including the value of the caregiving (which technically should be considered) This sounds like a case where there might be conflicting information in the system, which is why your MySocialSecurity account still shows active.

To directly answer your question - stepchildren can qualify for benefits on a stepparent's record if they receive at least 50% of their financial support from the stepparent. The key factors SSA looks at: 1. They must be living with you 2. They must receive at least half their support from you 3. They must be under 18 (or 19 if still in high school) The support test is strictly financial. While your caregiving is valuable, SSA only counts actual financial support. However, there's an important nuance: if you and your husband have completely merged finances with joint accounts, you can argue that your contribution to the household economy (both income and caregiving that allows him to work more) should count toward that 50% threshold. Form SSA-5002 (Report to Social Security Administration) is used to document support for dependents. Request this form specifically when you contact them.

wait something doesn't add up... if you've been approved to collect starting in March 2025 (next month) as you said, how did you already receive representative payee letters 3 weeks ago? Did you mean to say you were approved in November 2024 and started collecting in January 2025? The timeline seems off.

When you talk to SSA again (using whatever method works), ask them to explain WHY they determined you provide less than 50% support. Did they actually do a proper dependency determination, or is this just an assumption based on income differences? Also, if your husband's income is higher because you reduced your work hours to care for the children, that arrangement actually INCREASES his ability to earn - meaning your contribution is greater than just your direct financial input. In my experience, most SSA claims representatives don't fully understand all the nuances of stepchild dependency determinations. Request to speak with a Technical Expert or Claims Specialist who specializes in family benefits, not just any claims rep who answers the phone.

I'm new to this community but wanted to share something that might help. My sister had a very similar situation with her stepkids a few years ago. The SSA initially approved everything, then suddenly denied the children's benefits saying she didn't provide enough financial support. What ended up working for her was getting a statement from a family law attorney explaining how joint marital finances work. Even though her husband earned more, they could show that ALL household income was pooled and used for the family's expenses, including the children. The attorney's letter specifically addressed how her reduced work hours to care for the children was an economic contribution that enabled her husband's higher earnings. She also had to document EVERYTHING - every grocery receipt where food went to the kids, every piece of clothing she bought them, her portion of the mortgage/utilities, etc. It took about 6 months to resolve, but they eventually approved the benefits retroactively. The key was treating it like a formal legal case with proper documentation rather than just explaining the situation verbally. I'd definitely recommend getting some professional help with this since the financial calculations can be tricky when you have joint finances.

This is incredibly helpful information - thank you so much for sharing your sister's experience! The idea of getting a family law attorney to write a statement about joint marital finances makes a lot of sense. I've been struggling with how to properly document and present our financial arrangement where everything is pooled together. You're absolutely right about treating this like a formal legal case. I think I've been approaching it too casually, just trying to explain our situation instead of providing proper documentation. The point about documenting every single expense is also really important - I need to go through all our receipts and bank statements to show exactly what I've contributed to the kids' support. Do you happen to know what kind of family law attorney would be best for this type of statement? Should I look for someone who specializes in Social Security issues, or would any family law attorney understand the joint finances concept well enough to write an effective letter? The 6-month timeline is good to know too - I was hoping this would be resolved quickly, but it sounds like I need to be prepared for a longer process. At least there's hope for retroactive benefits if we can get this sorted out properly.

I'm new to this community but dealing with a somewhat similar situation. Reading through all these responses has been incredibly educational - I had no idea the financial support requirement was so strict for stepchildren. One thing I wanted to add that might be helpful: when I was dealing with my own SSA issue last year, I learned that you can request what's called a "case summary" which shows all the actions taken on your file. This might help explain the discrepancy between getting representative payee letters but then being told benefits were denied. Also, regarding the MySocialSecurity account still showing "active" - I've noticed their online system can be really slow to update, sometimes lagging weeks or even months behind actual case decisions. So that might not be reliable indicator of your current status. The advice about pooled finances and getting an attorney's statement sounds really solid. I'd also suggest keeping a detailed log of every conversation you have with SSA going forward - date, time, representative name/ID if they give it, and exactly what was said. This documentation could be crucial if you end up needing to appeal or if there are continued discrepancies in your case information. Hope you're able to get this sorted out soon - it's such a stressful situation when you're getting conflicting information from the same agency!

As a newcomer to this community, I've been reading through this thread with great interest since I'm dealing with some SSA challenges myself. What strikes me about your situation is the timeline inconsistency - getting representative payee letters typically means benefits were already approved in the system, so a verbal denial afterward seems like there might be a processing error or miscommunication. I'd strongly recommend following the advice about requesting your complete case file and filing the SSA-561 reconsideration form immediately. Don't wait for an official denial letter since you're working within that 60-day window from whenever the actual denial occurred. One additional thought: since you mentioned you've been the primary caregiver for 8 years and structured your work around the children's needs, you might want to calculate the monetary value of the childcare services you provide. Professional childcare costs can be substantial, and while SSA focuses on financial support, the economic value of your caregiving role supports the argument that your reduced income enables the family's overall financial stability. Document everything - not just direct purchases for the kids, but your proportional share of mortgage/rent, utilities, food, transportation, and the opportunity cost of your reduced work hours. The pooled finances approach mentioned by others seems very promising for your situation. Good luck navigating this bureaucratic maze!