Social Security child benefits going to non-custodial parent - can I change representative payee as custodial mom?

As a representative payee consultant, I can confirm you absolutely CAN and SHOULD request to become the representative payee. While survivor benefits must go to the custodial parent, with disability/retirement auxiliary benefits, SSA has more discretion in choosing the payee. However, they strongly prefer the custodial parent because the funds are intended to help support the children's day-to-day needs.You'll need to visit your local field office and file form SSA-11 (Request to be Selected as Payee). Bring proof of custody (court documents), proof the children live with you (school records, medical records with your address), and explain why changing the payee arrangement is in the children's best interest. The SSA will investigate and likely contact your ex-husband as part of the process.

Thank you so much! This is exactly what I needed to know. I'll download the SSA-11 form tonight. Do you know roughly how long this investigation process usually takes? The kids need new winter clothes and school supplies, and I'm really struggling financially.

my ex did SAME THING!!! took me 3 months to get it switched to me but i finally did. they dont just automatically give it to custody parent, you gotta FIGHT for it. bring ALL your custody paperwork and proof kids live with u!

3 months?! That's so long to wait when you're struggling. Did they make your ex pay back any of the money he received during those 3 months?

nope they didnt make him pay anything back to me. they just switched it going forward. so frustrating but at least i get it now

The rules for auxiliary benefits (when the wage earner is still alive) are different from survivor benefits. For auxiliary benefits, SSA looks at who would best serve the interests of the child, with a strong preference for the custodial parent, but it's not automatic.I'd recommend documenting all the children's expenses you're covering (housing, food, clothing, school needs, medical) to demonstrate you're providing their daily care. Also document any instances where your ex has failed to use the benefits for the children's needs.When you file the SSA-11, request an in-person interview and explain the situation clearly. Bring a detailed budget showing how you'll use the benefits.

Your situation sounds EXACTLY like what I dealt with in 2021!! My ex got SSDI and was getting almost $2300 for our 4 kids even though they lived with me. He kept

Is that service legit? Sounds like one of those scams...

Definitely legit. It's just a service that helps you get through the phone system faster. I was skeptical too but was desperate after trying for weeks to reach someone. They don't handle any of your personal SS info - just help connect the call.

I just wanted to point out that SSI and auxiliary benefits are completely different things. Some of the advice here seems to be mixing them up. Your kids are getting auxiliary benefits (sometimes called dependent benefits) based on your ex-husband's record, not SSI which is needs-based.The good news is that for auxiliary benefits, SSA actually DOES prefer the custodial parent as payee, but they don't automatically know who has custody unless you tell them. They probably made your ex the payee because he was the one who applied for the benefits.Also, be aware that your ex may claim he's using the money for things like

You're right - these are definitely auxiliary dependent benefits on my ex's record, not SSI. He did apply first without even telling me the kids were eligible. He's definitely not saving it for college... he bought himself a new truck last month while telling me he couldn't help with the kids' dental work. I'll make that detailed list of expenses - great idea!

just wundering does anyone know if this effects the amount of child support he has to pay? my ex is saying if he starts getting SS for our kid then his child support should be lower by that amount

That's actually a separate issue that varies by state. In many states, Social Security auxiliary benefits paid for a child can be credited against child support obligations. You should check with your family court or attorney about your specific state's rules. This wouldn't change who should be the representative payee though.

I know this isnt exactly what you asked but my sister had this problem and she ended up having to go back to family court to get the child support order modified because her ex was getting the kids SS benefits and still paying the same child support, but then he took her to court saying he should pay less support since kids were getting benefits. Judge ordered him to pay the difference between original support and the benefits instead. Just something to think about might happen after you get the benefits switched.

To give you an update on your timeline question - the investigation process typically takes 30-90 days. During this time, SSA will contact both you and your ex to gather information. They may also contact other sources like schools or doctors to verify living arrangements.Since you mentioned urgency with winter clothes and school supplies, be sure to emphasize this when you file your SSA-11. In some cases where there's immediate need, SSA can expedite the process or make a temporary payee determination.Also, be prepared that your ex might fight this change. If he does, it could extend the timeline. Document any evidence that the current funds aren't being used for the children's benefit, as this will strengthen your case substantially.

Thank you for this timeline info. I'm going to try to get an appointment at the local office this week. My ex will definitely fight it - he's already told me he's