Can my wife qualify for child-in-care spousal benefit with adult disabled son on my Social Security record?

The denial reason sounds confusing, but I might know what's happening. For the child-in-care benefit, the child must be under 16 OR disabled before 22. Your stepson meets the disabled before 22 requirement. However, there's another rule - your wife must be exercising parental control and responsibility. Since he's an adult disabled son, SSA sometimes applies a stricter standard for proving parental control. Did you submit documentation showing the specific care she provides?

The same thing happened to my sister!!! She had her disabled daughter (26 but disabled since birth) and when her husband retired, they denied her the child in care benefit. She had to FIGHT with them for months!!! The SSA people kept giving different answers every time she called. Some said yes she qualified and others said no. It was a NIGHTMARE!!!!

I don't think the stepparent relationship is the issue. I'm a stepdad to a disabled adult son and my wife got the child-in-care benefit when I retired. The key difference might be that we had legal documentation - we had a care plan from his doctor detailing his limitations and my wife's caregiving responsibilities. We also had a signed statement about her daily caregiving activities. The SSA is weird about the definition of "care" for adult disabled children. For young kids under 16, they assume care is happening. For adult disabled children, they want specific proof of ongoing parental care and supervision.

Are you sure he's getting SSDI on YOUR record? You said he was getting SSI before. Maybe he's still getting SSI and not actually drawing on your record? That would explain the denial letter wording.

Your situation is exactly what child-in-care benefits are designed for, but SSA's implementation can be frustrating. Here's what's happening: SSA requires proof of both the disability AND ongoing parental care/supervision for adult disabled children. Their definition of "care" is more stringent for adults than for young children. The exact regulation is in POMS RS 01310.001 and actually says a spouse can qualify when caring for "a disabled child age 16 or over only if the child requires personal care and supervision because of his or her mental or physical condition." You need to do two things: 1. File a reconsideration (form SSA-561) within 60 days of the denial 2. Submit evidence of the care and supervision your wife provides

i had endless problems trying to reach SSA about a similar issue with my disabled nephew. calling was useless - wait times of 2+ hours and then often disconnected. after weeks of frustration, i found a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to a real SSA agent in under 20 minutes. they have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU it saved me so much time and stress. might be worth checking out if you need to talk to someone at SSA directly about this complicated situation. i was able to get clarification on exactly what documentation was needed.

Wait why does she want child in care benefits instead of just waiting a few months until 62 for regular spousal? Isn't she almost 62 anyway? Just curious

One more important thing: When your wife files the reconsideration, make sure you specifically address the wording in the denial that says "she is not caring for a child who is entitled to benefits on my record." This suggests there might be confusion in their system about your stepson's benefit status. Include a copy of his benefit award letter showing he receives benefits on your record. Also, if the reconsideration is denied, don't give up! Request a hearing with an Administrative Law Judge. They often have a better understanding of these nuanced situations.