Social Security family benefits with disabled child - can I collect early at 55 when husband is 62?
So confused about our family's Social Security situation! I'm 55 and my husband just turned 62 last month. We have a disabled adult son (27) who is currently receiving SSI payments. I've been the primary breadwinner throughout our marriage, earning about double what my husband made. I've heard conflicting things from friends and even an SSA rep about our options. Since I'm the higher wage earner but 7 years younger, how will this affect when my husband should apply for his retirement benefits? Also, someone told me I might be able to collect some type of benefit early (before 62) because we have a disabled child already receiving SSI. Is there ANY truth to this or was this person mixing up different benefits? We're trying to maximize what our family receives overall, especially considering our son's long-term needs. Any insights from those who've navigated something similar?
16 comments
TommyKapitz
There's a lot to unpack here, but I'll try to address your main questions. First, regarding your husband's benefits: Since you're the higher earner, your husband might want to consider filing for his own retirement benefits at his Full Retirement Age (67 for him) rather than filing early at 62, which would permanently reduce his benefit by about 30%. He could potentially switch to a spousal benefit based on your record when you file for retirement if that would be higher than his own benefit. Regarding the second question - unfortunately, whoever told you that you could collect retirement benefits before 62 because you have a disabled child was mistaken. The minimum age for retirement benefits is still 62, regardless of having a disabled child. You might be thinking of the fact that a disabled adult child can receive benefits on a parent's record when the parent retires, becomes disabled, or dies - but this doesn't allow the parent to collect early.
0 coins
Louisa Ramirez
•Thank you for such a detailed response. So there's no way for me to receive any type of benefit before 62 even with our disabled son? That's disappointing as I was hoping there might be an exception. For my husband, if he waits until his FRA at 67, wouldn't that mean we're missing out on 5 years of payments he could have received? Is the 30% reduction really worse than getting nothing for 5 years? This is all so confusing!
0 coins
Angel Campbell
As someone who was in a similar situation, I want to add some practical advice. Your son currently receiving SSI might qualify for Childhood Disability Benefits (CDB, sometimes called Disabled Adult Child benefits) when either you or your husband file for retirement benefits. This could potentially be higher than his current SSI. The key difference: SSI is need-based with strict income/resource limits, while CDB is based on your or your husband's work record without those same limits. For your husband's decision, it's really a mathematical calculation. If he claims at 62, he'll get reduced benefits for life, but starts receiving 5 years earlier. If he expects to live past approximately age 80, waiting usually wins out financially. You might want to use the break-even calculator on the SSA website to run your specific numbers.
0 coins
Payton Black
•So wait, are you saying the disabled son could get MORE money once one of the parents retires?? I thought SSI was the only option for disabled adults. How does that work with the income limits? My brother is on SSI and they count EVERYTHING against him!
0 coins
Harold Oh
I just went thru something like this with my family. The SSA is TERRIBLE at explaining all your options!! My advice - get an appointment with an actual SSA representative in person. Don't trust what you read online or what friends tell you. Every situation is different and there are lots of special rules. Took me months to figure out our situation and I still probly left money on the table.
0 coins
Louisa Ramirez
•We've been trying for weeks to get an in-person appointment! Our local office is booked solid and the phone lines are a nightmare. I've been on hold for over 2 hours multiple times only to get disconnected. It feels impossible to get accurate information from an actual person at SSA.
0 coins
Amun-Ra Azra
I had the same frustration trying to get through to SSA when sorting out benefits for my disabled nephew. After wasting days on hold, I found a service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to an actual SSA agent in under 10 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Once I got through to a knowledgeable agent, I learned that my sister's disabled child could receive higher benefits on her record than the SSI he was getting. The agent walked me through all the paperwork we needed. For your situation, having that direct conversation with SSA is crucial because family benefit rules are complicated with multiple factors.
0 coins
Summer Green
•Does this service actually work? I've never heard of it and I'm a little skeptical. Has anyone else used it successfully? I've been trying to reach SSA for weeks too.
0 coins
Amun-Ra Azra
•Yes, it really works! I was skeptical too, but after spending 3 days trying to get through myself, I was desperate. They got me connected in minutes. The SSA rep I spoke with was able to answer all my questions about my nephew's benefits and help us submit the right paperwork. Saved me days of frustration.
0 coins
Gael Robinson
I think everyone is missing an important detail here. The disabled son is getting SSI not SSDI, which means he didn't qualify for benefits on either parent's record (not enough work credits of his own). When either parent claims retirement, the son MAY qualify for disabled adult child benefits on that parent's record, which could be higher than SSI. But here's the key - the amount would be up to 50% of the parent's Primary Insurance Amount, and if the parent claims early, it doesn't reduce the disabled adult child's benefit. So the husband claiming at 62 might actually make sense IF getting the son onto CDB benefits sooner is the goal.
0 coins
Angel Campbell
•You're absolutely right about the CDB not being reduced if the parent claims early - that's an important point I missed. However, there's also the family maximum to consider. If both the husband and disabled son are collecting on the husband's record, they might hit the family maximum, which is typically 150-180% of the worker's benefit. This is definitely a situation where running calculations with actual benefit amounts is crucial.
0 coins
Louisa Ramirez
Thank you all for such helpful responses! I think I understand our options better now. So to summarize: 1. I can't collect anything before 62, regardless of our disabled son (that was definitely misinformation I received) 2. When either my husband or I start collecting retirement, our son might qualify for Childhood Disability Benefits on our record instead of SSI 3. If my husband claims at 62, his benefits are reduced for life, but our son could potentially start receiving CDB sooner 4. We need to consider the family maximum limit when making these decisions I'm going to try that Claimyr service to speak with an actual SSA representative to get calculations based on our specific situation. This is all extremely complicated, but I feel much better equipped now to ask the right questions. Thank you all!
0 coins
TommyKapitz
•That's a perfect summary! One last suggestion - when you do speak with SSA, ask them to calculate the potential CDB benefit amount for your son under both your record and your husband's record. Since you mentioned you're the higher earner, your son's potential CDB benefit might be higher on your record, which could influence your planning. Best of luck navigating this complex system!
0 coins
Summer Green
my sister has a disabled kid and she said the benefits are way better once a parent retires. the kid got SSI before but now gets like twice as much on her ex-husbands record. but yeah you definitely can't get benefits yourself before 62 just because you have a disabled kid
0 coins
Payton Black
I've been dealing with Social Security for YEARS with my own situation and let me tell you something - DONT TRUST WHAT THE FIRST AGENT TELLS YOU!!! My experience is you need to call at least THREE times and talk to different people to get the right answer. I was told completely wrong information twice about my benefits. And write down the name of who you talk to each time. The system is a MESS.
0 coins
Harold Oh
•This is so true!!! I got different answers from 4 different representatives before finally getting someone who actually knew the rules correctly. It's like they don't even train their people properly.
0 coins