Social Security benefits for minor child when divorced father files - what about the ex-spouse?
I'm so confused about how Social Security benefits work in my situation. My ex-husband is turning 65 next month and plans to file for his retirement benefits. We've been divorced for 8 years (after 12 years of marriage). We have a son who's 14 and lives with me full-time. I know our son is eligible for some kind of child benefit when his dad files, but what about me? Am I eligible for anything as the ex-spouse who's raising our child? I'm only 52, so I know I'm not at retirement age, but I've heard there might be something called a mother's benefit? The SSA website is so confusing on this. Has anyone been through this situation before?
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Dylan Hughes
You're asking about several different benefits here, so let me break it down: 1. Yes, your 14-year-old son can receive child's benefits based on your ex-husband's record when he files for retirement. These benefits can be up to 50% of your ex's Primary Insurance Amount (PIA). 2. As for you, there's good news - you may qualify for mother's benefits (officially called mother's or father's insurance benefits) since you're caring for a child under 16. This is different from divorced spouse benefits, which you'd only qualify for at age 62. 3. You need to apply separately for both benefits - they don't happen automatically even if your ex files. Make sure to contact SSA directly with your son's and your own Social Security numbers, your marriage and divorce certificates, and your son's birth certificate when applying.
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Fatima Al-Sayed
•Thank you so much! That's really helpful. Do you know if I need my ex-husband's cooperation to apply for these benefits? We don't really communicate well, and I'm worried he might not want to provide information for my benefit application.
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NightOwl42
my sister went thru this last yr. theyll make u prove the kid is his and that ur actually divorced. bring ALL paperwork!!!
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Fatima Al-Sayed
•Thanks for the heads up! Did your sister have to coordinate with her ex at all, or could she handle everything on her own?
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Sofia Rodriguez
When I applied for my daughter's benefits, I waited on hold with SSA for THREE DAYS before giving up. Kept getting disconnected or told to call back. Their phone system is a NIGHTMARE and all the offices near me are appointment only with months-long waits. How is anyone supposed to get help??
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Dmitry Ivanov
•I had the same issue last month trying to sort out benefits for my grandson. After wasting days trying to get through, I found this service called Claimyr (claimyr.com) that got me connected to a real SSA agent in under 30 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU Totally worth it for complex situations like yours where you need to talk to an actual human. They put you at the front of the SSA phone queue somehow. Saved me so much frustration.
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Ava Thompson
To add some important details to what's already been shared: 1. The benefit you're referring to is technically called "Mother's or Father's Benefits" but you'll often hear SSA representatives call it a "mother's benefit" or "parent's benefit." 2. You can receive this benefit regardless of your age if you're caring for your ex-husband's child who is under 16 AND receiving child's benefits on your ex's record. 3. Your benefit would be up to 50% of your ex-husband's PIA, but the Family Maximum benefit rules may reduce what you and your son actually receive. 4. You do NOT need your ex-husband's cooperation. SSA can process your claim without him being involved, as long as you have documentation proving your marriage length, divorce, and your child's relationship to the wage earner. 5. These benefits will end when your son turns 16, unless he is disabled. I recommend applying as soon as your ex files for his benefits - your applications should be timed to coincide.
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Fatima Al-Sayed
•This is incredibly helpful information. I'm relieved to hear I don't need his cooperation. One more question if you don't mind - will these benefits affect any Social Security I might get on my own record when I reach retirement age?
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Miguel Herrera
MY EX TRIED TO BLOCK MY SON FROM GETTING BENEFITS!! He told SSA we weren't actually divorced (we were) and that my son wasn't his (he is). They made me send in extra paperwork and delayed everything by MONTHS. Be prepared for games if your ex is difficult!!
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Zainab Ali
•That's awful but unfortunately not uncommon. The SSA has processes to handle disputed claims though. They can verify marriage/divorce through their systems in most cases, and paternity can be established through birth certificates listing the father or court orders for child support. Did everything work out for your son's benefits eventually?
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NightOwl42
wait does this mean the ex husband gets less SS money if the kid and mom get some too???
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Dylan Hughes
•Great question. No, the ex-husband's own benefit amount doesn't get reduced. The child's and mother's benefits are additional payments based on his earning record, but they don't take away from what he receives. However, there is something called the Family Maximum Benefit (FMB) that might limit the total amount paid to all beneficiaries on one person's record, but that only affects how the auxiliary benefits are distributed, not the primary earner's amount.
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Fatima Al-Sayed
Thank you all for the helpful information! I just called my local SSA office and they said I need to bring our divorce decree, my son's birth certificate, and proof that he lives with me full-time. They also said I should wait until my ex actually files before I submit our applications. I'm still nervous about the whole process but feel much better knowing what to expect.
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Ava Thompson
•You're taking all the right steps! One more tip: when you go to your appointment, ask for a receipt or some documentation showing you've applied. This helps protect your filing date, which can be important for back benefits if there are any processing delays. Good luck!
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