my mom went thru this last year with my dad...the hospice social worker helped her with all the ss paperwork before he passed which was super helpful maybe ask if they have someone who can assist you?

I'm sorry for what your family is going through. One additional thing to keep in mind - if your mom was receiving spousal benefits based on your dad's record instead of her own work record, the situation would be different. But since she's already receiving her own higher benefit ($2,450 vs $1,750), she'll continue getting that amount. Just make sure when you contact SSA to report the death, you specifically ask them to confirm that her payments will continue uninterrupted. Sometimes there can be brief processing delays, so it's good to get written confirmation of what to expect.

Just wanted to add another perspective here - while waiting until FRA definitely maximizes the monthly benefit amount, don't forget to factor in the "break-even" analysis. If your wife claims at 65, she'll receive 12+ months of benefits before she would have received anything by waiting until FRA. Those early payments can add up to around $11,000+ (using the $917/month example from earlier). It takes about 11-12 years of receiving the higher FRA payment to "break even" with taking the reduced benefit early. If she's in good health and expects to live well into her 80s, waiting makes sense. But if there are health concerns or you need the income now, claiming at 65 might still be the right choice. Just make sure you're looking at the complete picture, not just the monthly payment difference!

As someone who's been researching Social Security benefits for my own family, I wanted to add that it's also worth considering whether your wife has any gaps in her work history or lower-earning years that might affect her own benefit calculation. Sometimes people are surprised to find their own retirement benefit is higher than they expected, which could change the spousal benefit calculation. Also, if your wife is still working, she should be aware of the earnings test - if she claims benefits before her FRA and continues to work, her benefits might be temporarily reduced if she earns over the annual limit ($22,320 for 2024). The SSA will give those benefits back later, but it's something to factor into your timing decision. Definitely recommend she create that my Social Security account mentioned earlier to get the most accurate benefit estimates for both scenarios!

This is really helpful information, everyone! I'm in a similar boat - turning 66 next year and my own benefit will be higher than any spousal benefit from my ex. Based on what I'm reading here, it sounds like the safest approach is to get those documents ready ahead of time, even if you might not need them. @GalacticGladiator - your experience with the phone interview is particularly useful to know about. It sounds like even when you're clear about only wanting your own benefits, they still want to document your full marital history. I guess it makes sense from their perspective to have complete records. For anyone else in this situation, it might be worth checking if your state has those online vital records systems that @Annabel Kimball mentioned. I just looked up my state and they do have online ordering - would have saved me a lot of stress if I'd known that earlier!

I'm also approaching retirement age and found this thread really informative! Based on everyone's experiences, it seems like there are two main approaches: 1) Be very explicit that you're ONLY applying for your own retirement benefits and hope they don't ask for marriage docs, or 2) Get the documents ready ahead of time just in case. From what I'm reading, the online application might trigger requests for marriage documentation even if you don't want spousal benefits, but calling ahead or applying in person might give you more control over the conversation. One thing I'm curious about - for those who did have to provide marriage/divorce documents later, did SSA accept certified copies or did they need original documents? I'm wondering if I should order multiple certified copies just to be safe. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences - this is exactly the kind of real-world advice that's so hard to find elsewhere!

One additional consideration: tax implications. Since both of you are working and potentially drawing Social Security, be aware of how this might affect the taxation of your benefits. Up to 85% of your Social Security benefits can be taxable depending on your combined income. This is another reason why delaying benefits while you continue to work can be advantageous - you avoid having benefits that would be subject to higher taxation during your working years.

Just wanted to add my experience as someone who went through this exact scenario two years ago. I was born in 1958 (so subject to the new rules) and my spouse had already maximized her benefit at 70. I initially thought I could be clever and collect spousal benefits first, but quickly learned that's no longer possible for our birth year cohort. What really helped me make the decision was running the break-even analysis. Even though waiting until 70 meant giving up 3+ years of benefits, the higher monthly amount ($600 more in your case) meant I'd break even around age 82-83. Given life expectancy and the fact that we didn't immediately need the income, it was a no-brainer to wait. Also worth mentioning - I kept working part-time until 70, and those continued earnings actually boosted my final benefit calculation slightly since they replaced some lower-earning years from earlier in my career. The SSA recalculates your benefit annually if you continue working, so that's a nice bonus on top of the delayed retirement credits. The peace of mind knowing I maximized our household's guaranteed income for life was worth the wait. Best of luck with your decision!

another thing nobody mentioned is that if your sister gets survivor benefits it might mess up other benefits she has!!! my friend's daughter lost her medicaid when she started getting survivor benefits and it was a NIGHTMARE to fix!!! make sure you ask about this specifically!!!

I'm so sorry for your sister's loss. This is a difficult time, and it's wonderful that you're stepping up to help her navigate this complex process. One thing I'd like to add that others haven't mentioned - when you call SSA to schedule your appointment, ask if they can arrange to meet at your local SSA office rather than requiring your sister to travel to an unfamiliar location. Some offices can accommodate special circumstances, especially when cognitive disabilities are involved. Also, consider bringing a trusted friend or family member to the appointment as an additional witness/support person. This can sometimes help the process go more smoothly and provides an extra person to take notes if needed. Regarding the banking situation, some credit unions are particularly good at working with people who have disabilities and their representatives. They often have more flexible policies and staff who are trained in these situations. It might be worth calling a few local credit unions in addition to traditional banks. Finally, don't forget to take care of yourself during this process. Being a representative payee is a significant responsibility, and combined with helping your sister grieve, it can be emotionally and mentally taxing. Make sure you have support too.