I just realized something else I should have mentioned - I did work part-time for many years but it was all under the table (cleaning houses) so I never paid into Social Security. I'm wondering if that affects anything or if there's any way to count some of that work now?

Just wanted to add one important point that might help with your planning - even though you can claim ex-spouse benefits at 62, you might want to consider waiting a bit longer if possible. The reduction isn't just a small amount - it's permanent and significant. At 62, you'd get about 32.5-35% of your ex's full benefit amount, but if you wait until your Full Retirement Age (likely 67), you'd get the full 50%. That's a substantial difference that will last for the rest of your life. I know it's tough to wait when you need the income, but even waiting a few extra years could make a big financial difference. You might want to run the numbers to see if you can make it work with other income sources until you're closer to your FRA.

Thank you everyone for your helpful advice! I've learned so much. I'm going to try the Claimyr service to get through to SSA this week and make sure I ask about WEP/GPO since I did have that teaching pension. I'll gather all my documents and request benefit estimates for all three scenarios. I really appreciate all your help - this has been so confusing to figure out on my own!

As someone who went through a similar situation a few years ago, I want to emphasize something that hasn't been mentioned yet - timing is everything! Since you're already 63 and receiving reduced survivor benefits, you need to be very strategic about any switches. One thing to consider: if your ex-husband is still alive and hasn't claimed his benefits yet, his benefit amount could still increase if he delays claiming until age 70. However, your divorced spouse benefit would still be calculated on his Full Retirement Age amount (50%), not his delayed retirement amount. Also, keep detailed records of every conversation you have with SSA representatives. Get names, dates, and case numbers. I had conflicting information from different reps and having documentation helped resolve the confusion later. The GPO/WEP issue mentioned by others is serious - I know teachers who were shocked to discover their benefits were reduced by amounts they never knew about. Make sure you get this in writing from SSA, not just verbal confirmation. Good luck with Claimyr - that service has helped several people I know get through to SSA much faster than calling directly!

I've been following this thread, and I wanted to circle back - did you manage to file the appeal yet? Remember that if you request the continuation of benefits during appeal (by checking that box on the SSA-561 form), they should continue her Medicaid during the appeal process. This buys you time to explore the state-specific programs others have mentioned. Don't wait on this - the 10-day window for continued benefits during appeal is crucial.

I'm so glad to hear you got the appeal filed and have the Medicaid appointment scheduled! That's exactly the right approach. When you meet with the Medicaid office tomorrow, also ask about Missouri's "MO HealthNet for the Disabled" program - Missouri does participate in several disability-specific Medicaid programs that aren't tied to SSI eligibility. One more thing to consider while you're exploring options: if your daughter's medications are name-brand, ask her doctors about patient assistance programs directly from the pharmaceutical companies. Many offer free or deeply discounted medications for families in situations like yours. It's not a permanent solution, but it can help bridge the gap while you get the Medicaid sorted out. You're doing an amazing job advocating for her - I know it feels overwhelming, but you're taking all the right steps!

Please update us on what happens! I'm curious because my mom is in a similar situation with her teacher's pension and survivor benefits. The whole GPO thing is SO complicated and unfair. I swear they make these rules confusing on purpose!

One week later: Any update on your situation? Were you able to get through to someone who properly understood the GPO rules for retroactive survivor benefits?

Also consider tax implications if you're still working. Up to 85% of Social Security benefits can be taxable if your combined income is high enough. Something to factor in when deciding when he should claim.

One thing to keep in mind is that even though your husband makes 50% less than you, his spousal benefit might not actually be higher than his own benefit depending on his work history. The spousal benefit is up to 50% of YOUR Primary Insurance Amount (what you'd get at full retirement age), but if he's been working steadily even at lower wages, his own benefit could still be substantial. I'd recommend both of you create accounts on ssa.gov to see your estimated benefits. That way you can compare his projected benefit at 65 versus what 50% of your PIA would be (reduced to about 45.8% since he'd be claiming early). This will help you figure out if the spousal benefit would even make a difference in your situation. Also, since there's a 5-year gap between when he wants to retire and when you plan to file, you might want to consider whether he can afford to wait a couple extra years to avoid the permanent reduction from claiming early.