Has anyone else noticed they keep changing these rules every few years?? My mom got benefits from her ex husband but they were only married 8 years I think... but that was back in the 90s so maybe rules were different then???

Just wanted to add that if you're still worried about any of this, you can create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov to see your earnings record and get benefit estimates. It's really helpful for planning purposes and you can see exactly what your projected benefits would be based on your current earnings history. Plus, if there are any errors in your record, you can spot them early and get them corrected. The online account also shows you what documents SSA has on file for you, including marriage and divorce records that affect benefit eligibility.

just wanted to say im sorry for your loss. please make sure you also apply for the lump sum death payment from social security. its only $255 but its something. you have to call them about it though they dont just give it to you automatically

I'm so deeply sorry for your loss, Chloe. What you're going through is incredibly difficult, and having to navigate these complex Social Security decisions while grieving is overwhelming. Based on what everyone has shared, I'd strongly encourage you to withdraw your current retirement application using Form SSA-521 before benefits begin. As a widow, you now have strategic options that weren't available before - you can potentially optimize between your own retirement benefits and survivor benefits. A few additional points to consider: 1. **Timing flexibility**: Since you're 63, you have time to make the optimal choice rather than rushing into the first available option. 2. **Work considerations**: The earnings test ($23,520 annual limit for 2025) applies equally to both retirement and survivor benefits, so your work income will impact either choice the same way until you reach FRA. 3. **Professional guidance**: Given the complexity and long-term financial impact (potentially tens of thousands over your lifetime), consider consulting with a fee-only financial planner who specializes in Social Security strategies, in addition to speaking with SSA directly. Take your time with this decision - there's no rush once you withdraw your current application. Your financial security is important, but so is your emotional well-being during this difficult time.

Thanks everyone for all the helpful information! So if I'm understanding correctly: 1. I can't do the "claim spousal first, then switch to my own later" strategy because I was born after 1954 2. When I file (at any age), I'll automatically be applying for both benefits and get the higher amount 3. If I claim at 62, both amounts would be permanently reduced 4. My best options are either claim everything early if I need the money, or wait until 70 if I can afford it I think I'm going to talk to a financial advisor who specializes in Social Security before making my final decision. This is too important to get wrong!

Great summary Oliver! You've got the key points right. One small clarification on timing - you mentioned talking to a financial advisor, which is smart, but also consider scheduling an appointment directly with your local Social Security office once you're closer to making a decision. They can run the exact numbers for your specific situation and show you projected benefit amounts at different claiming ages. Also, don't forget to factor in Medicare costs when you're doing your financial planning. Even if you delay Social Security until 70, you'll still need to enroll in Medicare at 65 to avoid penalties, and those premiums will be an ongoing expense to consider in your retirement budget. The fact that you're planning this out well in advance puts you way ahead of most people. Take your time with the decision - you've got several months to crunch the numbers and see what works best for your situation!

Thank you all so much for the helpful information! I just talked to Mom and she's incredibly relieved. She was actually considering postponing the marriage because of the financial concerns, but now she feels comfortable moving forward. She does have some Extra Help with her Medicare Part D, so we'll look into how that might be affected. I'm going to help her schedule an appointment with SSA to confirm everything for her specific situation. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to share your knowledge!

That's wonderful news! I'm so happy your mom can move forward with her marriage without worrying about losing her survivor benefits. Just a quick additional tip - when she does contact SSA, she might want to ask about whether she should report the marriage proactively or wait until after it happens. Some offices prefer advance notice while others just want to be notified after the fact. Also, make sure she brings a copy of the marriage certificate when she does report it. Best wishes to your mom and her fiancé on their upcoming wedding!

One thing that might help while you're waiting to get through to SSA - you can create a my Social Security account online at ssa.gov to see your estimated benefits at different claiming ages. While it won't show you your ex-spouse benefit amount (since that depends on his record), it will give you a clear picture of what your own retirement benefit would be at 70 versus now. This can help you prepare for the conversation with SSA and give you a baseline to compare against when they tell you about the ex-spouse benefit option. The online account also shows your complete earnings history, so you can double-check that all your wages were properly credited. It's free and only takes a few minutes to set up with some basic verification questions.

Just want to add one important point that I don't think was mentioned - even though your ex-husband is still working and hasn't filed for his benefits yet, his continued earnings could actually be increasing his Social Security benefit calculation. The SSA uses your highest 35 years of earnings to calculate your Primary Insurance Amount (PIA), so if he's still earning more now than he did in some of his earlier working years, those new higher earnings could replace lower earning years and increase his PIA. This would mean the 50% ex-spouse benefit available to you could potentially be higher than if he had stopped working earlier. However, this only matters if your ex-spouse benefit ends up being higher than your own benefit at 70, which based on what others have said about your situation, seems less likely. Still worth knowing when you talk to SSA though!