SEE!!! I TOLD YOU!!! So happy for you!! 🎉🎉🎉

Congratulations on getting this sorted out! This is a perfect example of why it's so important to advocate for yourself when dealing with government agencies. The first representative clearly didn't understand the rules around divorced spouse benefits and federal pensions. For anyone else reading this thread who might face similar issues: always ask for a supervisor or technical expert if the information you're getting doesn't align with what you've researched or sounds inconsistent. SSA representatives are human and can make mistakes, especially with complex scenarios involving federal employment and divorced spouse benefits. Your persistence really paid off here, and I'm sure this thread will help other people in similar situations who might get incorrect information initially.

I started my benefits last year at 62 and I made sure to stay juuuust under the earnings limit. My sister went over by accident and they sent her this scary letter and stopped her benefits for like 3 months! Just keep really good track of what your earning. My boss was cool about it and would let me know when I was getting close to the limit so I could take time off if needed.

Just wanted to add one more important detail that I learned the hard way - make sure you report ALL income sources to SSA when you apply, not just your main job. I forgot to mention some occasional weekend work I did helping neighbors with yard cleanups, and it came back to bite me during their annual review. Even cash payments count toward the earnings limit! Also, if you're getting any 1099 income (like if the garden center classifies you as a contractor instead of an employee), that counts too. The SSA gets copies of all your tax documents anyway, so it's better to be upfront about everything from the start.

One thing I didn't see mentioned - make sure you understand how working affects your survivor benefits if you're planning to continue working. Since you're under full retirement age, there's an earnings limit ($22,320 for 2025), and they deduct $1 for every $2 you earn above that limit. This doesn't apply after you reach your full retirement age. Also, the survivor benefit amount is based on several factors: your age when you claim, whether your husband had already started his benefits, and if he hadn't, whether you claim before or after his full retirement age. It can get confusing, so don't hesitate to ask the interviewer to explain exactly how your benefit amount was calculated.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I completely understand the anxiety around this process. I went through my survivor benefits interview about 18 months ago, and while it was nerve-wracking beforehand, the actual interview was much more straightforward than I expected. A few additional tips that helped me: - Have a glass of water nearby during the call. When you're nervous, your mouth can get dry and it helps to stay hydrated. - If you don't understand something they're explaining, it's perfectly okay to say "Could you repeat that more slowly?" or "I want to make sure I understand - are you saying...?" They're used to people needing clarification. - The representatives are generally patient and understanding. Remember, they deal with grieving spouses regularly and know this is a difficult time. Regarding your earnings, since you're under the $22,320 limit, you should be fine. Just be honest about your work situation - they appreciate transparency. You've gotten excellent advice here about the "restrict to widow's benefits only" language. The fact that you're prepared with the right terminology puts you way ahead of where I was! You're going to do better than you think. Please do update us after your interview - it might help the next person going through this.

One other important thing to consider: if you do qualify for benefits as a divorced spouse caring for a disabled adult child, and you decide to reduce your work hours to stay under the earnings limit, make sure to calculate how that will affect your own future retirement benefit. Those reduced earnings years will be part of your benefit calculation. Sometimes it's better financially to keep working and wait until your own retirement age to claim benefits.

I went through something very similar with my disabled son a few years ago! Here's what I learned that might help: The key thing is getting your MySocialSecurity account working again - that's your best bet for getting benefit estimates without the phone nightmare. Try the account recovery process first, but if you're still locked out after 24 hours, you might need to create a completely new account with a different email address. For your specific situation, since your son became disabled before 22 and you were married 10+ years, you likely have multiple benefit options to compare. The earnings test is brutal though - at $56K you'd lose a lot of any early spousal benefits, so running the numbers is crucial. One thing that helped me was requesting a "benefit verification letter" for my son through HIS MySocialSecurity account (if he has one or can create one). It shows his benefit type and amount, which can help clarify how his benefits might interact with yours. Also, if you do end up going to the local office, ask specifically for a "retirement estimate" that shows ALL your options - your own benefits, ex-spousal benefits, and any caregiver benefits you might qualify for. They can run scenarios for different claiming ages too. Hang in there - the system is frustrating but once you get the right information, you can make a solid plan!

One last thing to consider: if your ex-spouse passes away before you claim benefits, the rules change. As a surviving divorced spouse, you could claim survivor benefits as early as age 60 (or 50 if disabled). Survivor benefits are different from ex-spousal benefits. Not something to hope for, of course, but important to know in case that situation arises.

I just went through this exact process last year! I was 61 when I started researching and had to wait until 62 just like you. One tip that really helped me: about 3-4 months before your 62nd birthday, you can actually start the application process. Don't wait until the day you turn 62 because processing can take time. Also, since you mentioned struggling financially, look into whether your state has a Senior Community Service Employment Program (SCSEP). It's specifically for people 55+ with lower incomes and can provide part-time work and training while you're waiting to be eligible for benefits. I found it through my local Area Agency on Aging and it really helped bridge the gap. The waiting is hard, but you're so close! Just two and a half more years and you'll have that extra financial security.