To actually answer your main question - you should take whichever benefit is higher. If your own benefit is higher than 50% of your ex's, take your own. If 50% of his is higher than your own, take the spousal benefit. The SSA should actually give you the higher amount automatically if you were married for at least 10 years before divorcing. Based on what you've shared, it sounds like your own benefit is the higher one. Just remember that taking your benefit doesn't affect his at all - he'll still get whatever he's entitled to regardless of what you claim.

One more thing to keep in mind - since you're turning 66 in three months, you're reaching your Full Retirement Age (FRA). This is actually perfect timing because you can claim your full benefit without any early retirement reductions. If you had claimed earlier, your benefit would have been permanently reduced. Also, even though you're choosing your own benefit over the ex-spouse benefit now, you might want to check back in a few years. If your ex-husband passes away before you do, you could potentially switch to a survivor benefit based on his record, which would be 100% of his benefit amount instead of just the 50% spousal amount. Just something to keep in the back of your mind for future planning. The SSA agent should have explained all this to you, but sometimes they rush through the details. Make sure you get everything in writing when you file!

Just wanted to add another perspective here - I work as a benefits coordinator and see this situation frequently. The deeming rules can be really harsh, especially for guardians who step up to care for disabled children. A few additional things to keep in mind: 1. The deeming calculation uses a specific formula that subtracts allowances for you, your spouse, and your other children before applying the deemed amount to your niece's case. 2. If your niece has her own income (like from a special needs trust or other sources), that gets factored in too. 3. Sometimes there's a delay in SSA updating their records about household composition changes, which can affect the calculation. I'd strongly recommend getting that detailed breakdown others mentioned, and also consider consulting with a disability attorney who specializes in SSI cases if the numbers still don't make sense. Many offer free consultations and can spot calculation errors that might not be obvious to us non-experts. Your niece is lucky to have someone advocating for her - don't give up if something seems off with the math!

I went through something very similar when I became guardian of my nephew last year. The deeming calculation is incredibly frustrating because it assumes you have more disposable income than you actually do after taking on a disabled child's care. What really helped me was creating a detailed monthly budget showing all of his disability-related expenses - not just medical copays, but things like specialized equipment, transportation to appointments, respite care, etc. When I presented this to SSA along with requesting the calculation breakdown, they found they had missed some exclusions. Also, don't forget that as his guardian, you might be able to claim him as a dependent on your taxes and potentially qualify for certain credits that could help offset the reduced SSI payment. The system is definitely not set up well for guardianship situations, but keep advocating - there might be more room to work with the numbers than it initially appears.

Thank you all for the helpful responses! I've made an appointment with my doctor to get updated medical records and I'm going to start gathering all my documentation. I think I'll apply for both regular SSDI and the Disabled Widow Benefits as suggested. I'm still nervous about the whole process, but at least now I have a better understanding of my options. I'll definitely use that Claimyr service to speak with SSA directly about my specific situation. Will update when I have news about my application.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with these health challenges. As a newcomer to this community, I've been reading through similar situations and wanted to share what I've learned. The information about Disabled Widow(er) Benefits is really eye-opening - I had no idea this was even an option until reading these responses. One thing I'd suggest is also reaching out to your local Area Agency on Aging. They often have benefits counselors who can help navigate the Social Security system for free, and they might be able to review your situation before you apply to make sure you're taking the best approach. They're familiar with both the disability process and widow benefits, so they could give you personalized guidance. Also, given your pacemaker complications, have you considered whether that might qualify you for a Compassionate Allowance? Some cardiac conditions with devices can qualify for expedited processing. It might be worth asking about when you speak with SSA. Wishing you the best with this difficult situation. You're not alone in this process!

As someone who just went through this exact situation last year when I started benefits at 62, I can confirm your advisor is absolutely correct! The monthly earnings test ($1,850 for 2025) only applies during your first calendar year of receiving benefits. Starting January 2026, you'll be subject to just the annual limit ($22,320 for 2026, though they usually announce the exact amount closer to the year). One thing I wish someone had told me is to keep really good records of your monthly earnings during this first year. I used a simple notebook to track each paycheck and made sure to account for any bonuses or overtime that might push me over the monthly limit. Also, remember that the earnings test looks at when you EARN the money, not when you receive it - so if you work in December but get paid in January, that December work counts toward December's limit. The good news is that once you hit your Full Retirement Age, all earnings limits disappear completely and any benefits that were previously withheld get added back to your monthly payments as a recalculation. Hang in there - the rules are confusing but you'll get through it!

As someone who just started navigating Social Security at 64, I can't thank everyone enough for these detailed explanations! This community is incredible - I was so confused when I first read about the earnings limits, but now I feel like I actually understand how it works. Just to make sure I have this right: in 2025 (my first year), I need to stay under $1,850 per month, and if I go over in any specific month, I only lose benefits for that month. Then starting 2026, it switches to the annual limit of around $22,320, and they look at my total yearly earnings instead of monthly. And once I hit my FRA, no more limits at all! I'm definitely going to set up that tracking spreadsheet someone mentioned and talk to my part-time employer about paycheck timing. It's such a relief to know that my 401k withdrawals and pension don't count toward the earnings limit - I was being way too cautious about that. One question for those who've been through this: do you report your monthly earnings to SSA proactively, or do they just figure it out from your tax records later? I want to make sure I'm doing everything properly from the start.

As someone who just went through this process myself last month, I can confirm what everyone is saying! I turned 67 on January 15th and was able to start my benefits on January 1st with no reduction whatsoever. The birthday month rule is real and it works exactly as described here. What really helped me was calling SSA early in the morning (around 8 AM) when the wait times were shorter. The representative I spoke with was very clear that as long as you reach FRA sometime during the month, you can start benefits on the 1st of that month. She even mentioned that this is one of the most common questions they get, so don't feel bad about being confused - you're definitely not alone! The peace of mind from getting official confirmation was worth the phone call.

I'm so glad I found this thread! I'm in almost the exact same situation as Ava - I turn 67 on February 28th this year and have been agonizing over whether to select February 1st or wait until March. Reading everyone's explanations about the birthday month rule has been incredibly enlightening. I had no idea that Social Security considers you to have reached your FRA for the entire month of your birthday. This makes so much more sense than what I was trying to decipher from the official SSA materials. Thank you to Miguel, StarSailor, the claims specialist, and everyone else who took the time to explain this clearly. It's amazing how much stress this has relieved - I was literally losing sleep over potentially making the wrong choice and losing benefits. Now I feel confident moving forward with February 1st as my start date!