After reading all the comments, I think there's some confusion about the timing. You don't need to apply for anything right now while your ex is still living. Survivor benefits only come into play after he passes away. At that point, if you're 60 or older, you can apply for divorced spouse survivor benefits. In the meantime, focus on understanding your options so you can make the best choice when the time comes. The SSA has a "Survivors Planner" section on their website that explains all of this in detail. Just to reiterate - both you and his current wife can potentially receive full survivor benefits based on his record. They are not split or reduced because there are multiple eligible survivors.

I'm sorry you're going through this difficult situation. As someone who works with Social Security cases, I wanted to add a few important points that might help: 1. **Documentation timing**: While you can't apply until after he passes, you might want to quietly gather your divorce decree and marriage certificate now. Make sure you have certified copies stored safely. 2. **Benefit calculation**: Your survivor benefit will be based on what his Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) would be at his full retirement age, not what he's currently receiving if he's already collecting benefits. This is important because if he took early retirement, your survivor benefit could actually be higher than his current monthly payment. 3. **Medicare consideration**: If you're not already on Medicare when you become eligible for survivor benefits, you'll need to think about health insurance. Survivor benefits don't automatically come with Medicare eligibility until you reach 65. 4. **State benefits**: Don't forget to check if your state has any additional survivor benefits or programs that might help. The fact that you're planning ahead shows good judgment, even though it feels uncomfortable. Having a financial plan will give you one less thing to worry about during an already difficult time.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Eli. Losing someone to early-onset dementia is incredibly difficult, and having to navigate Social Security bureaucracy during such a painful time just adds to the burden. Reading through all the responses here, it's clear you've gotten some excellent and accurate advice. The community really came together to help clarify this confusing rule. Just to add one more perspective from someone who works adjacent to these issues - the "death on the first day of the month" exception (POMS GN 02408.610) is indeed real but unfortunately not widely known, even among some SSA staff. Given that it's been 5 weeks since you received SSA's acknowledgment letter, I'd strongly recommend trying multiple approaches simultaneously: use that phone service someone mentioned to get through faster, visit your local office if possible, and definitely consider reaching out to your congressional representative's office as suggested. Sometimes having multiple touchpoints helps move things along. When you do connect with SSA, be prepared to educate them about their own policy if needed. It sounds like you now have all the documentation and knowledge you need. The fact that you were his representative payee should actually make this process smoother once you get the right person on the case. You're handling this incredibly well under very difficult circumstances. This community clearly has your back, and you will get through this.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Eli. Losing someone to early-onset dementia is heartbreaking, and dealing with Social Security issues while grieving makes everything so much harder. I wanted to jump in because I actually went through this exact situation when my mother passed away on March 1st two years ago. The "death on the first day of the month" rule is real but surprisingly not well-known, even among some SSA representatives. From reading all the excellent advice here, you now have a solid game plan. I'd just add one thing that really helped me: when I finally got through to SSA, I asked them to put me on a three-way call with their technical support team to confirm the POMS GN 02408.610 policy. This way, if there was any confusion about the rule, we could resolve it immediately rather than having to call back later. Also, I see someone mentioned the congressional representative route - this was a game-changer for me. My representative's office had a dedicated Social Security caseworker who knew exactly how to navigate these situations. They got my mom's final payment processed in about 10 days after I'd been struggling for over a month. You're being incredibly thorough in documenting everything and getting all the right forms together. The fact that you were his representative payee will definitely work in your favor once you get to someone who understands the process. Hang in there - you've got this, and this community clearly has your back every step of the way.

Thank you all SO MUCH for the helpful information! I feel much better understanding how this works now. I'm going to keep tracking my hours carefully, make sure I stay under that $1,110 monthly for now, and report everything properly. It's such a relief to know I can work these few hours without risking my benefits entirely. Going to call SSA directly to confirm everything for my specific case just to be 100% sure.

Smart move calling SSA directly to confirm your specific situation! Just a heads up - when you call, have your exact monthly earnings figures ready and ask them to document in your file that you're reporting your work activity. Also consider asking about the Ticket to Work program if you're interested in potentially increasing your hours down the line - it provides additional work incentives and protections. You're doing everything right by staying informed and being proactive about reporting. Keep those pay stubs organized and don't let anyone scare you away from working within the guidelines - the system is actually designed to encourage work attempts when done properly!

Just to clarify something that might be confusing - when we talk about your "spousal benefit" in this scenario, you're not actually switching from your retirement benefit to a spousal benefit. Instead, you'll receive your own reduced retirement benefit PLUS a spousal add-on amount (if you qualify for one based on the calculations). The deemed filing rules mean that when you file for one benefit (retirement), you're deemed to have filed for all benefits you're eligible for at that time. This prevents people from selecting one benefit type now and another later to maximize payments. Definitely contact SSA to see what additional amount you might receive. The application process for the spousal component is relatively straightforward once you get through to a representative.

I went through this exact same situation about 2 years ago! Filed early at 62 and was getting around $950/month when my husband finally started collecting his $2,400 at FRA. I was so hopeful I'd get a big boost but ended up with only about $180 extra per month as a spousal add-on. The SSA calculator they use is pretty complex but here's what I learned: they take 50% of your husband's Primary Insurance Amount (his benefit at FRA before any delayed credits), subtract your own PIA, and then reduce that difference based on when you filed early. In my case, since I filed 4 years and 10 months before my FRA, the reduction was significant. Don't get discouraged though - that extra $180 has really helped, especially with rising costs. And like others said, definitely apply soon because they only backpay 6 months maximum. I made the mistake of waiting 8 months after my husband started collecting and lost out on some money. Good luck!

i had something simlar happn but it was bcause i was on SSI not retirment. SSI is the one that gets reduced when u marry someone with income. reglar social secrity retirement stays the same no matter who u marry or how rich they are. my uncle married a really rich lady and still gets his full SS check every month lol

Just wanted to jump in as someone who went through this exact worry! My husband and I got married when he was already collecting his retirement benefits at 67, and I was terrified his payments would change. They didn't! His monthly deposit has stayed exactly the same for the past two years since our marriage. The SSA website has a really helpful tool called the Retirement Estimator that can give you an idea of what your own benefits might look like when you're ready to claim at 67. That way you can compare it to potential spousal benefits. Also, I'd recommend creating a my Social Security account online if you haven't already - it shows your earnings record and projected benefits, which makes planning so much easier than trying to guess. Your husband's neighbor probably meant well, but it sounds like they were thinking of a different situation entirely. Congratulations on your marriage, and don't let this stress you out unnecessarily!