Glad to see this got resolved! For anyone else reading this thread, just want to add that if you're having trouble accessing your my Social Security account, you can also request a new SSA-1099 by mail by calling the automated phone system at 1-800-772-1213 and following the prompts (no need to speak to an agent). It usually takes 7-10 business days to arrive, so plan accordingly if you're close to tax deadlines. The online method is definitely fastest when it works though!

This is such a helpful thread! I'm in a similar situation - just started receiving Social Security disability benefits last year and had no idea they send a different form than W-2s. I've been checking my mailbox every day wondering where my W-2 was! Going to log into my account right now to look for the SSA-1099. Thanks to everyone who shared their experiences and solutions.

I just want to echo what others have said about getting your Social Security statement first - it's really the key to making this decision. I was in a similar situation a few years ago (though I was the higher earner in my marriage), and I was surprised by how much my own benefit had grown from those later working years. One thing that helped me was using the SSA's online retirement estimator to run different scenarios. You can see exactly what your benefit would be at 64 vs 67, and compare that to the ex-spouse benefit amounts. The math becomes much clearer when you have real numbers instead of trying to guess. Also, don't underestimate the value of having guaranteed income starting at 64 if you need it for peace of mind during retirement. Sometimes the psychological benefit of having that steady check coming in is worth more than the extra dollars you'd get by waiting, especially if you have other savings to supplement.

Another factor to consider is inflation protection. Social Security benefits receive annual cost-of-living adjustments (COLAs), so even if you take a reduced benefit at 64, that amount will still grow with inflation over time. However, the percentage reduction is permanent - so if you're getting 86.7% of the full benefit at 64, you'll always be getting 86.7% of what the full benefit would have been, even after COLAs. I'd also suggest thinking about your overall retirement portfolio. If you have other sources of income like 401k, IRA, or pension that can bridge the gap from 64 to 67, it might make sense to wait for the higher Social Security amount. But if Social Security will be your primary income source, starting at 64 might provide needed cash flow. One more thing - make sure you understand that taking ex-spouse benefits won't affect what your ex-husband receives. Some people worry about this, but his benefits continue unchanged regardless of whether you claim on his record.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and I want to echo what others have said about keeping detailed records - this saved me so much trouble when I applied for survivor benefits two years ago. One thing I didn't see mentioned yet is that you should ask about direct deposit when you apply. It's much safer than waiting for paper checks in the mail, and your benefits will arrive faster (usually the second Wednesday of each month for survivor benefits). Also, if you're worried about budgeting on the reduced amount, consider looking into your local Area Agency on Aging. They often have resources specifically for widows and can help connect you with programs for things like prescription assistance, utility bill help, and even free tax preparation services. Mine helped me understand which benefits might be taxable and which weren't. You're being very smart to plan ahead and ask these questions. The SSA staff should be able to give you a clear breakdown of exactly what you'll receive after any deductions. Don't hesitate to ask them to put everything in writing!

I'm also a widow who started survivor benefits at 60, and I want to add something important that hasn't been mentioned yet - when you apply, make sure to ask about retroactive benefits. If your husband passed away more than 6 months ago and you're applying now, you might be entitled to back payments for some of those months. Also, regarding healthcare before Medicare - don't overlook COBRA if your husband had employer health insurance when he passed. You might still be eligible to continue that coverage for up to 36 months as a surviving spouse, which could bridge the gap until you're Medicare eligible at 65. One more tip from my experience: if you ever need to call SSA, try calling early in the morning (right when they open at 7 AM) or later in the day after 4 PM. The wait times are usually much shorter than during peak hours. And always write down the name of whoever you speak with and get a confirmation number if they make any changes to your account. You're asking all the right questions and it sounds like you'll be well-prepared for your appointment. The hardest part is often just getting through the application process - once your benefits start, the monthly payments are very reliable.

I'm so sorry for your loss, Felicity. What a frustrating situation to deal with while you're grieving. I just wanted to add one more piece of advice based on what I've seen in similar cases - when you gather your documentation, try to get copies of everything rather than originals when possible, since SSA sometimes keeps submitted documents. Also, if you have any old medical records from that time period (doctor visits, insurance claims, etc.) that show both of your names or list you as emergency contacts for each other, those can be surprisingly helpful in establishing your relationship status. The fact that you lived together in Colorado for 2 years before the legal marriage really gives you a fighting chance here. Don't let anyone discourage you from pursuing this - you deserve these benefits after being together for over 11 years total. The arbitrary 10-year rule shouldn't penalize you for 19 weeks when you clearly had a committed long-term relationship.

I'm new to this community but wanted to offer some support and additional thoughts. As someone who has helped family members navigate SSA claims, I'd suggest also looking into whether you have any old credit reports or loan applications from that time period where you might have listed each other as co-applicants or references. Sometimes people forget about these documents, but they can show financial interdependence during your common law period. Also, if you had any joint memberships (gym, Costco, etc.) or shared cell phone plans during those 2 years in Colorado, those records might still be available. The key is building a comprehensive picture of your life as a married couple before the legal ceremony. I know it's overwhelming to gather all this documentation while grieving, but Colorado's recognition of common law marriage really does give you a legitimate shot at meeting that 10-year requirement. Don't let the bureaucracy intimidate you - you have every right to pursue these benefits after an 11+ year relationship. Sending you strength for your upcoming appointment!

Update: I finally got through to SSA this morning! I took the advice about calling right when they open (7 AM in my time zone) and only waited about 20 minutes. The representative confirmed I'm not too late for January benefits and helped me submit my application. She did transfer me to a specialist for my WEP/GPO questions, and I learned my survivor benefit will be reduced by about $570 due to my husband's government pension. Not great news, but at least I know what to expect now. Thank you all for your help and suggestions! What a relief to have this submitted finally.

Congratulations on getting through, Laura! That's such a relief after all the frustration you've been dealing with. The early morning call strategy really does work - I've had success with that approach too. Just wanted to add for anyone else reading this thread: if you're dealing with WEP/GPO calculations, it's worth double-checking the math when you get your award letter. The government pension offset can be complex, especially when there are multiple pension sources or if the pension amount changes over time. Also, keep copies of everything related to your husband's pension records - SSA sometimes requests additional documentation months later to verify the offset calculations. Having it ready can save you from delays in your payments. Great job persisting through this process! January will be here before you know it.