Thanks everyone for the thoughtful responses! This has given me a lot to think about. I'm definitely going to run more detailed calculations including the investment growth potential and tax implications. I hadn't considered the Roth conversion strategy or the survivor benefit implications for my wife. Sounds like I need to look at this as part of our overall financial picture rather than just comparing benefit amounts at different ages.

I work with retirees as a financial educator, and I've seen both sides of this. The biggest regrets I typically see are from people who claimed early and then continued working without understanding the earnings test (which can temporarily reduce or eliminate benefits if you earn too much before FRA). Or those who claimed early without realizing how it would impact their surviving spouse. But for those who did the math and made an intentional choice based on their specific circumstances? Very few regrets. The key is making an informed decision rather than just claiming early because you can.

My sister went thru this. Her ex tried to claim the kids' money since he pays child support - said it should offset what he pays!!!! Social Security told him NO WAY. As long as OP has primary custody those benefits go to him as the representative payee FOR the children. They'll make you report how its spent every year tho so KEEP RECEIPTS!!! Also BTW - once your youngest turns 16, you might also qualify for a spousal benefit as a parent caring for a child under 16, even though you're divorced. Ask about that when you apply!

After reading through everyone's responses, let me summarize the key points for clarity: 1. Your children are eligible for benefits when you start collecting Social Security retirement (up to 50% of your PIA each) 2. The family maximum will likely limit the total to around 150-180% of your PIA 3. Your ex-wife has no claim to these benefits 4. You must apply for your children at the same time you apply for your benefits 5. As custodial parent, you'll be the representative payee for your children 6. You must keep records of how you spend the children's benefits 7. Be aware of the earnings limit if you're still working ($22,320 for 2025) 8. If you exceed the earnings limit, both your benefits and your children's benefits can be reduced Does this help clarify things?

One more thing based on my experience - make sure your husband creates his my Social Security account and checks his earnings record BEFORE applying. I found several years of my private sector work missing from my record, which would have significantly lowered my benefit. Had to track down old W-2s from the 1990s to prove those earnings. Total headache but added about $180/month to my benefit after fixing it.

Final thought - this is complicated enough that it might be worth consulting with a financial advisor who specializes in federal benefits and teacher pensions. The interaction between WEP, GPO, earnings limits, and Texas TRS has significant financial implications. While it costs money for the consultation, it could prevent costly mistakes. The SSA representatives try their best, but they don't always understand the nuances of teacher pensions in specific states. A specialized advisor might save you much more than they cost.

my wifes check comes on the 3rd wensday but mine comes on the 4th wensday. we both get ss but different days. depends on your bday.

Update: I finally got through to SSA (after trying all week!) and confirmed what everyone here said. Her combined payment will come on her birthday schedule, not mine. And they'll just add the spousal portion to her own retirement amount in a single deposit. Thanks everyone for your help!

I've been on SSI for 15 years and tried working 3 different times. One thing nobody mentioned is how SLOW the SSA is with adjusting your benefits when you report income. One time I reported my new job immediately, but they didn't adjust my check for 3 months, then suddenly wanted all that money back! I had to set up a payment plan. Not saying this to discourage your son, but make sure he SAVES some money when he starts working because the adjustments are never smooth or timely.

Thank you all so much for the information and advice. My son and I talked about everything shared here, and he feels much more confident about trying to work knowing he won't automatically owe back all his past benefits. We're going to: 1. Look into the Ticket to Work program and find a WIPA counselor 2. Research our state's re-entry programs for people with felony records 3. Set up a savings account to prepare for any benefit adjustment delays 4. Try to get clear documentation from SSA about his reporting responsibilities He's still nervous about the process but feels hopeful for the first time in years. His therapist agrees that meaningful work could be really beneficial for his recovery, especially if he can find something that accommodates his anxiety triggers. I can't thank this community enough for all the guidance!

One important suggestion I should have mentioned earlier: your nephew should consider getting representation from the beginning of his application process, not just if he gets denied. A disability attorney or advocate who specializes in SSDI claims can make a huge difference in approval rates, especially with complex neurological conditions. Most work on contingency (they only get paid if he wins, typically 25% of backpay up to $7,500), so there's no upfront cost. They know exactly what medical evidence will be most persuasive, which doctors' statements help most, and how to properly document the functional limitations that will qualify him. The application process is intentionally difficult and the forms are designed to trip people up. Having someone guide him through can dramatically increase his chances of approval at the initial level, potentially saving years of appeals.

Thank you all so much for the incredible advice and personal experiences. I feel much better equipped to have this conversation with my nephew now. I'm going to emphasize that: 1. He's paid into this system - it's insurance, not welfare 2. His children could potentially receive benefits too 3. He can still try working while on the path to SSDI 4. Getting representation from the start is crucial I think approaching it from the angle of caring for his family rather than focusing on his limitations will help. And hearing from others who've been through similar situations with the same reluctance is incredibly valuable. Thank you all for your compassion and wisdom!

I think everybody here is forgetting about the FAMILY MAXIMUM BENEFIT calculation! If too many people in one family are collecting SS benefits at once, there IS a cap! My sister-in-law had this happen!

One more thing - if your husbands staying under that $23k limit make sure it's EXACT! My buddy went over by just $780 last year and they took back two whole months of benefits! The SSA doesn't mess around with that earnings test.

Kinda off topic but make sure ur new bank isnt one of those online only banks some of them have problems with SS deposits my cousin tried to switch to Chime and it was a whole mess!!

After reading through all these responses, I think your best approach is a two-pronged strategy: 1. Make an in-person appointment at your local office with these specific requests: - Ask to speak with a Technical Expert or Supervisor - Bring the Form SSA-1199 (Direct Deposit Sign-Up Form) already filled out - Request written confirmation of the change - Ask them to check for any fraud flags or verification holds - Get the exact processing date for when changes take effect 2. In the meantime, contact your old bank and: - Explain the situation with Social Security - Ask how long they can keep the old account open - Find out their specific procedure for handling deposits to closed accounts - See if they can set up automatic transfers to your new account This approach covers you from both ends and gives you the best chance of a smooth transition without missing any payments.

I think most people here are missing something CRUCIAL. When you reach FRA (Full Retirement Age), you should contact SSA to see if you qualify for a HIGHER benefit based on your OWN work record! Even with limited self-employment, you've been earning credits all these years. It's POSSIBLE (not guaranteed) that your own retirement benefit might be higher than your widow's benefit at FRA. SSA is SUPPOSED to automatically give you whichever is higher, but MANY times they miss this! You should request a benefit calculation based on BOTH scenarios when you approach FRA. And YES, after FRA you can earn UNLIMITED income with no benefit reduction. This is true for ALL types of Social Security benefits.

My sister went thru the disabled widow to regular benefits transition. She said everything stayed the same payment-wise, but the rules about working changed. I think each case is different though based on when you started receiving benefits and your age.

my sister got this letter too and she doesnt even have kids lol

One more thing I should mention - you said your kids are in their 30s, but if any of them became disabled before they turned 22, they could potentially qualify for benefits on your record as a Disabled Adult Child (DAC). This is a commonly overlooked benefit. If this doesn't apply to your situation, then no action is needed, but I wanted to mention it just in case.