I understand how frustrating this must be for you! Just to add to what everyone has shared - while the 10-year marriage rule is indeed firm, don't forget that you might also want to explore whether you qualify for any other types of Social Security benefits. For instance, if you become disabled before reaching retirement age, the work requirements for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) are different and based on recent work activity rather than lifetime earnings. Also, once you do start collecting your own retirement benefits, if your financial situation is still tight, you might be eligible for other assistance programs like SNAP, Medicaid, or housing assistance that can help stretch your Social Security dollars further. The important thing is not to give up - there are often more options available than people realize, even when the obvious path (like ex-spouse benefits) isn't available to you.

I just wanted to chime in as someone who works with Social Security applications regularly. Everyone here has given you accurate information about the 10-year marriage requirement - it's unfortunately one of the most rigid rules in the system. However, I'd encourage you to really dig into your own work history before assuming your benefits will be too low. Many people are surprised to learn that even sporadic work over many years can add up to a decent benefit, especially with the progressive benefit formula that favors lower earners. Also, don't overlook the option of working a few more years if possible - those additional earnings years could replace some of your lower or zero earning years and potentially increase your benefit significantly. The difference between claiming at 62 versus your full retirement age of 67 can also be substantial. I know it's disappointing about the ex-spouse benefits, but you may have more options with your own record than you think!

I'm 63 and have been on SSDI since 2019 after a spinal injury ended my career as a warehouse supervisor. This entire discussion has been absolutely invaluable! Like everyone else, I was completely wrong about when the transition would happen - I thought at 65 I'd automatically switch to regular retirement benefits. It's such a huge relief to learn that the process is truly automatic at Full Retirement Age (67) and that the benefit amount stays exactly the same. I was actually losing sleep worrying about potential paperwork deadlines or benefit reductions. Reading all these real experiences from people who've successfully gone through the transition has completely eased my anxiety. The part about being able to work without earnings restrictions after FRA is especially exciting to me. I've been wanting to do some light supervisory consulting but the current SSDI earnings limits make it too risky. Knowing I'll have that freedom in a few years gives me real hope for staying engaged in my field again. This community is amazing - getting actual experiences from people who understand what it's like to navigate these systems beats trying to decode government websites any day. Thank you all for sharing your stories!

I'm 66 and went through this exact transition 8 months ago! Like everyone else has said, it really is completely seamless and automatic. I was on SSDI for 6 years after a degenerative disc disease made it impossible to continue my job in manufacturing. What I found most helpful was creating that my Social Security account online about a year before my FRA - it actually shows you the exact month your benefits will convert and has a countdown. Made me feel much more in control of the process even though there's nothing you need to do. The biggest surprise for me was how freeing it felt once the conversion happened and I could work without worrying about earnings limits. I've started doing some part-time quality control consulting and it's been great to feel useful again without constantly calculating if I'm going over the monthly limit. One small tip - when you do convert at 67, you'll get a letter from SSA confirming the change. Don't panic if it takes a few weeks to arrive - mine came about 3 weeks after my FRA date. The benefits continued without any interruption. Hang in there - you've got this figured out now and there's really nothing to worry about!

I'm sorry for your loss. Going through this process during grief is incredibly difficult. Based on what others have shared here, I'd recommend creating a checklist to help you navigate this: 1. Call SSA at 1-800-772-1213 to report the death (bring his SSN and death certificate info) 2. Ask specifically about "underpayment" for his final month's medical bills 3. Request Form SSA-8 for the $255 death benefit 4. Return all uncashed checks to your local SSA office with proper documentation 5. Contact the funeral home about local assistance programs they might know about One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet - if your brother-in-law had any life insurance policies (even small ones through work or organizations), those might help with expenses. Sometimes people forget about these or they're listed as beneficiaries without knowing it. Check his paperwork, contact his former employer's HR department, and look for any membership cards from unions, credit unions, or fraternal organizations that might have had small burial policies. Also, some states have programs that can help with burial costs for low-income families. Your state's Department of Health and Human Services might have information about these programs. It's worth a phone call to see what's available in your area.

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. This is such a difficult situation to navigate while grieving. From what everyone has shared, it's clear that returning those uncashed checks is unfortunately mandatory, but I wanted to mention a few additional resources that might help with funeral costs: Many religious organizations (churches, synagogues, mosques, temples) have discretionary funds to help community members with emergency expenses, even if you're not a regular member. It's worth calling a few in your area to ask. Also, check if your brother-in-law belonged to any fraternal organizations like Elks, Moose Lodge, Knights of Columbus, Masons, etc. Many of these groups have burial assistance funds for members. Look through his wallet for any membership cards you might have missed. GoFundMe has become a common way for families to crowdfund funeral expenses - many people are willing to help during times like these, even with small donations. Social media can help spread the word to friends, former coworkers, and neighbors who might want to contribute. Lastly, some funeral homes offer "community rate" discounts for families facing financial hardship, or they might know of local organizations that sponsor burials. It never hurts to ask - the worst they can say is no. Take care of yourselves during this difficult time. The paperwork and bureaucracy will get sorted out, but your emotional well-being is what matters most right now.

I'm so sorry you're going through this nightmare - 18 months is absolutely unacceptable for something that should be a straightforward calculation. Your situation highlights exactly why so many people are losing faith in the system. A few additional suggestions that might help: 1. Document EVERYTHING in a spreadsheet - dates, names, what was promised, reference numbers from calls. This creates a timeline that's hard for them to dismiss. 2. When you do get connected to someone with authority, ask them to put their promised resolution timeline IN WRITING via email or letter. No more verbal promises that disappear into the void. 3. Consider filing a complaint with your state's Department of Aging/Elder Affairs - they often have ombudsman programs that can advocate directly with federal agencies. 4. If you haven't already, request your complete file under the Freedom of Information Act. Sometimes seeing exactly what notes are (or aren't) in your file can reveal where the breakdown is occurring. The fact that you're out $6,660+ in back payments ($370 x 18 months) makes this a substantial financial hardship case. Keep pushing - you're entitled to those DRCs and they know it. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, unfortunately, but you shouldn't have to squeak this loud for this long. Stay strong and keep us updated on your progress!

I'm a newcomer here but had to jump in because this hits close to home. My neighbor went through almost the exact same situation with missing DRCs last year. What finally worked for her was getting her case escalated to what's called a "Critical Case" status at the Regional Office level. Here's what she learned: there's actually a specific SSA form called SSA-795 (Statement of Claimant or Other Person) that you can use to document your case and request expedited handling. She filled it out detailing all 18 months of attempts and specifically requested "Critical Case" designation due to financial hardship from the delayed payments. The key was being very specific about the financial impact - she calculated not just the monthly shortfall but also the opportunity cost of that money (what it would have earned in savings, bills that went unpaid, etc.). That seemed to get their attention faster than just saying "I'm owed money." Also, when you contact your senators, ask them to specifically request a "Congressional Inquiry Response" rather than just a general inquiry. Apparently there's a difference in how SSA prioritizes these. I really hope this gets resolved soon - 18 months is absolutely ridiculous for something that should be automatic. Keep fighting!

Just wanted to add one more consideration - since you mentioned caring for your wife who has health issues, you might want to look into whether you qualify for any caregiver credits or if your wife might be eligible for Social Security Disability benefits if she isn't already receiving them. Sometimes there are spousal benefit strategies that can help maximize household Social Security income, especially when one spouse has health issues. Also, if your wife worked and earned her own Social Security credits, you'll eventually be able to choose between your own benefit and a spousal benefit (whichever is higher). It's worth discussing these scenarios with SSA when you call to get your benefit estimate confirmed.

One thing that might help put this in perspective - you can actually run some rough calculations yourself before calling SSA. Take your 19 years of earnings (you can find these on your SSA statement), add 16 zeros, then divide the total by 35 to get your average. That average gets put through SSA's benefit formula to determine your Primary Insurance Amount (PIA). Since you were earning $160k annually, even with those zeros factored in, you're probably looking at a pretty decent benefit. The formula is progressive, meaning lower earners get a higher percentage of their average earnings replaced, but higher earners like yourself still get substantial dollar amounts even at the lower replacement percentages. The key thing to remember is that your high earnings years will help offset those zeros more than you might expect. Someone who worked 35 years but had many low-earning years early in their career might not be that much better off than your situation.