My girlfriend claimed our child as dependent on taxes - can I still file as Head of Household?

I'm in a bit of a tough situation with taxes this year and could use some advice. My girlfriend and I live together with our daughter, and she already filed her taxes claiming our child as her dependent. The problem is, I'm pretty sure I should have been the one to claim our daughter since I pay about 95% of all our household expenses. I've checked the IRS website and I seem to meet all the requirements to file as Head of Household, except for the fact that my girlfriend already claimed our child. She filed as single and makes significantly less money than I do, but she's refusing to amend her return. I'm worried about what might happen if I try to file as HOH without claiming my daughter as a dependent. Will this raise red flags with the IRS? Could I get in trouble? I'm the one covering almost all the bills, mortgage, groceries, etc., so it feels unfair that I can't get the tax benefit that should be mine.

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19 comments

Declan Ramirez

•8M

This is actually a common situation. To qualify for Head of Household status, you need to have a qualifying person and pay more than half the cost of keeping up your home. A qualifying person is generally a child who lives with you for more than half the year. Here's where it gets tricky - you can still file as Head of Household even if you don't claim the child as a dependent, as long as the child qualifies you for HOH status. The child can be your qualifying person for HOH purposes even if you don't claim them as a dependent because someone else (your girlfriend) is entitled to claim them. The requirements are separate - one for claiming a dependent and one for HOH filing status. Since you pay 95% of the household expenses and your child lives with you, you likely qualify for HOH regardless of who claims the child as a dependent.

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Declan Ramirez

•8M

You don't necessarily have to claim the child as a dependent to file HOH. The rules state that if your child is your "qualifying person" for HOH status, you can file as HOH even if you don't claim them as a dependent. The IRS allows this specifically for parents in shared custody or unmarried couples living together. As long as the child lived with you for more than half the year and you paid more than half the costs of keeping up the home, you can file as HOH, even if someone else claims the child as a dependent.

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Katherine Hunter

•8M

I had almost this exact same situation last year and found a great solution through taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai). I was worried about filing as Head of Household when my partner had already claimed our son as a dependent. I uploaded our tax documents to taxr.ai and they identified that I could still file as HOH without claiming my son as my dependent. They showed me exactly which IRS rules applied to my situation and helped me understand the difference between qualifying for HOH status and claiming a dependent. Saved me about $2,000 in taxes compared to filing as single! They also gave me documentation to keep on hand in case of an audit that clearly explains why my filing status was legitimate. Honestly gave me so much peace of mind.

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Katherine Hunter

•8M

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Lucas Parker

•8M

Just wanted to follow up - I tried taxr.ai after posting my question here and it was super helpful! Uploaded my W-2, some expense receipts, and info about my living situation with my ex and daughter. The system confirmed I could file as HOH even though my ex claimed our daughter as a dependent. They explained exactly what parts of the tax code applied to my situation and even outlined what documentation I should keep in case the IRS has questions. Filed my taxes yesterday as HOH and it went through without any issues. Ended up getting almost $1,800 more on my refund compared to filing as single!

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Harper Collins

•8M

If you end up getting audited or need to talk to the IRS about this situation, I highly recommend using Claimyr (https://claimyr.com). I spent WEEKS trying to get through to the IRS about a similar HOH filing issue last year - kept getting disconnected or waiting for hours. Claimyr got me connected to an actual IRS agent in about 15 minutes when I had been trying for days on my own. They have this system that basically waits on hold for you and calls you when an agent picks up. You can see how it works in this video: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c The IRS agent I spoke with confirmed that I was right to file HOH even though my partner claimed our kid as a dependent. Having that verbal confirmation directly from the IRS gave me a lot of peace of mind.

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Harper Collins

•8M

They don't have special access - they use an automated system that basically does the waiting for you. It calls the IRS and navigates through all the phone menus, then waits on hold so you don't have to. When an agent finally picks up, you get a call connecting you. The IRS phone system is definitely overloaded, which is exactly why this service is useful. You're right that it's hard to get through - I tried for almost two weeks straight before using Claimyr. The difference is they have technology that can keep dialing and waiting while you go about your day.

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Donna Cline

•8M

I have to admit I was completely wrong about Claimyr. After posting my skeptical comment, I was desperate enough to try it because I really needed to talk to someone at the IRS about my delayed refund. The service actually worked exactly as described. I signed up, entered my phone number, and specified what I needed help with. Their system called the IRS and navigated all those annoying menu options. About 45 minutes later (while I was grocery shopping), I got a call connecting me directly to an IRS representative. I was able to get my refund issue resolved in one call after trying unsuccessfully for almost a month on my own. Definitely worth it for the time saved and stress reduction. Sometimes being proven wrong is a good thing!

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Dylan Fisher

•8M

Just to add another perspective - I'm a tax preparer (not a CPA but I've been doing taxes for 15 years). You're in a common situation with unmarried parents. Here's what you need to know: 1. The parent who provides more than 50% of the cost of maintaining the home AND has the child living with them for more than half the year qualifies for HOH status. 2. The parent who claims the child as a dependent gets the child tax credit and other dependent-related benefits. These are separate issues in the tax code. From what you described, you qualify for HOH status even though your girlfriend claimed the child. Just be prepared to provide documentation showing you pay the majority of household expenses if questioned.

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Dylan Fisher

•8M

Yes, definitely keep documentation of everything you pay for - mortgage/rent receipts, utility bills, grocery receipts, childcare expenses, medical bills for the child, etc. The more you can document that you covered the majority of household costs, the better. The IRS typically won't force your girlfriend to amend her return based on your filing. However, if both of you were audited, they might determine who was actually entitled to claim the child. Since you're not disputing her right to claim the child as a dependent (just filing HOH based on your household contribution), you should be fine.

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