Can I file as head of household while my partner claims our child as a dependent for tax benefits?

You're asking a really good question about tax filing strategies for unmarried couples with children. Here's what you need to understand: For Head of Household status, you need a "qualifying person" - typically a child who lives with you for more than half the year. The key part is that this qualifying person doesn't necessarily have to be claimed as your dependent. The IRS allows what you're describing under certain conditions. You can file as HOH if your child qualifies you for it (lives with you more than half the year), while your girlfriend claims the child as a dependent for tax credit purposes - BUT only if you both agree to this arrangement. The other requirement is that you must provide more than half the cost of maintaining the home where you and the child live. This means paying more than 50% of expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc. So yes, it's possible to do what you're describing, and it's completely legitimate if you meet these requirements. The tax software might be confusing because it's trying to work through all these specific IRS rules.

After struggling with a similar tax situation with my unmarried partner and our kid, I finally found a solution with https://taxr.ai - seriously saved me hours of frustration. You upload your tax documents and it analyzes everything to find the optimal filing strategy. For your specific situation, they have a feature that calculates the most advantageous filing combination between partners and shows you exactly how to allocate dependents, deductions, etc. My partner and I were trying to figure out the head of household/dependent question too, and taxr.ai showed us we were leaving almost $2200 on the table with our original plan. The best part is they show you the exact IRS rules that support your filing choices so you can feel confident you're doing everything right.

Just wanted to update - I tried taxr.ai after seeing it mentioned here and wow! My boyfriend and I were in almost the exact same situation (I make about $245k, he makes around $85k) and we've been filing all wrong. The tool confirmed we could do exactly what you're trying to do - I file HOH while he claims our son as a dependent. It walked us through all the requirements step by step and showed us the exact tax code references. The analysis showed we'll save just over $6300 combined by filing this way versus how we did it last year. The tool even showed us how to document our household expense split in case of questions. Definitely worth checking out if you're still unsure!

If you're having trouble getting clear answers about this HOH/dependent situation, try https://claimyr.com to speak directly with an IRS agent. I waited on hold with the IRS for HOURS trying to get confirmation about a similar filing situation before I found them. Claimyr holds your place in the IRS phone queue and calls you when an agent is actually ready to talk. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I was skeptical but used it to confirm my own unmarried filing situation (which is similar to yours). Got a clear answer directly from an IRS rep who explained exactly how we needed to document our arrangement. Definitely beats guessing or trusting random internet advice.

I need to publicly eat my words. After being totally skeptical about Claimyr, I decided to try it anyway because I was desperate for answers about my tax situation (which is similar to yours - unmarried partners with a kid trying to figure out HOH status). I signed up, entered my number, and went about my day. Almost 2 hours later I got a call connecting me to an actual IRS representative! I explained our situation, and the agent confirmed that yes, one partner can claim HOH if they pay more than half the household expenses while the other claims the child as a dependent - as long as the child qualifies both of you and you agree to this arrangement. The agent even gave me specific advice about documenting our household expense payments just in case. Seriously worth it not to spend hours on hold or guessing about this stuff.

Quick question for those in a similar situation - does anybody know if it matters who claims the childcare expenses (FSA/daycare credit) in this scenario? If my partner claims our son as a dependent but I file HOH, who should be claiming the $6k we spend on preschool?

Just wanted to add - be VERY careful about the "providing more than half the cost of maintaining the home" requirement for HOH. The IRS looks at this closely. My friend got audited specifically on this point. Make sure you keep good records of what you pay for: rent/mortgage, property taxes, utilities, repairs, food consumed in the home, etc. Total it all up to prove you're over the 50% threshold. My friend ended up having to pay back taxes plus penalties because he couldn't prove he paid more than half when asked.

This is a great question that many unmarried couples face. What you're describing is actually completely legitimate under IRS rules - you can file as Head of Household while your girlfriend claims your daughter as a dependent, and this could indeed save you significant money. The key requirements you need to meet are: 1. Your child must live with you for more than half the year (which sounds like she does) 2. You must pay more than 50% of the household expenses (rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc.) 3. You and your girlfriend must agree on this arrangement The IRS specifically allows the "qualifying person" for HOH status to be different from who claims the child as a dependent. Since you're in a higher tax bracket, having your girlfriend claim the child tax credit while you get the HOH filing status benefits makes perfect financial sense. The tax software questions about support and living situations are normal - they're just verifying you meet the IRS requirements. Keep good records of your household expense payments (bank statements, receipts, etc.) in case you ever need to prove you pay more than half the costs. You're not doing anything wrong here - you're just optimizing your tax situation within the rules. Many tax professionals actually recommend this exact strategy for unmarried couples in similar income situations.