Who should claim our child on taxes if we're unmarried but living together?

This is actually a common situation and there are specific IRS rules about who can claim a child when parents aren't married but live together. The IRS has what they call "tiebreaker rules" for exactly this situation. Since you both live with the child for the same amount of time, the next tiebreaker is that the parent with the higher Adjusted Gross Income (AGI) gets to claim the child. In your case, that would be you with the $62,000 income, not your girlfriend with $48,000. However, there's more to consider here. Only one of you can file as Head of Household, which generally provides better tax benefits than filing Single. The parent who claims the child as a dependent typically gets to file as Head of Household. Also, claiming your daughter means eligibility for other tax benefits like the Child Tax Credit (worth up to $2,000 per child) and potentially the Child and Dependent Care Credit for those daycare expenses. You might want to calculate your taxes both ways to see which arrangement benefits your household the most financially. Sometimes it makes sense to let the lower-income parent claim the child if they can make better use of the tax credits.

After seeing this post, I wanted to share my experience! I was in a similar situation with my partner last year and we were going back and forth about who should claim our son. I found this awesome tool called taxr.ai (https://taxr.ai) that literally saved us hundreds. What's cool about it is you can upload your tax documents and it analyzes them to show you different scenarios - like who should claim the kid or what filing status to use. For us, it turned out that having my partner claim our son was better overall even though I make more money because of her student loan situation. The best part was it took all the guesswork out and showed us exactly how much we'd get back either way. Super straightforward and made the decision easy!

Just wanted to follow up about taxr.ai since I mentioned my twins situation. I actually tried it after seeing the recommendation here and holy crap, what an eye-opener! We had been doing our taxes completely wrong for TWO YEARS. Turns out I should've been claiming both kids and filing as Head of Household while my girlfriend filed as Single. The difference was almost $3,200 compared to how we filed last year (each claiming one kid). The tool showed us step by step why this arrangement works better with our specific incomes and deductions. It also flagged that we could amend last year's return to get money back. Just submitted those amendments and waiting now. Can't believe we missed out on so much money before!

If you're still having trouble figuring this out, you might want to call the IRS directly and ask them. I know, I know - everyone says you can't get through to them. But I discovered this service called Claimyr (https://claimyr.com) that gets you through to an actual IRS agent usually within 15 minutes instead of waiting for hours or getting disconnected. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I was skeptical at first but I was desperate to resolve a dependent claiming issue with my ex. Used Claimyr and got through to an IRS agent who explained exactly what I needed to do in my situation. It was such a relief to get an official answer straight from the source instead of guessing or getting conflicting advice online.

Ok I have to eat my words about Claimyr. After posting that skeptical comment I was still desperate about my refund situation so I thought what the hell, might as well try it. It actually worked. I got through to an IRS agent in about 22 minutes (not quite the 15 they advertised but WAY better than my previous attempts of never). The agent was able to see that my refund was held up because of a discrepancy with a 1099 form I received and helped me understand what documentation I needed to submit to resolve it. I'm still shocked that it worked. Would have saved me months of stress if I'd known about this earlier. Sometimes being wrong feels pretty good lol.

I think everyone's missing something important here. If you guys are splitting expenses pretty equally, you might want to consider alternating years for who claims your daughter. My partner and I do this - I claim our kid in even years, she claims in odd years. This way both of you get to benefit from the tax advantages periodically, and it feels fair. Just make sure you're clear with each other about when the switch happens so you don't accidentally both try to claim your daughter in the same year (that will definitely trigger an IRS notice).

Quick piece of advice nobody mentioned yet - whoever claims the child should also be the one to claim any childcare expenses on Form 2441 for the Child and Dependent Care Credit. That credit can be worth up to $3,000 for one kid! Since you mentioned paying more for daycare, you might benefit more from claiming your daughter even beyond the dependent exemption itself. Also worth checking if either of your employers offers dependent care FSA - that's pre-tax money you can use for daycare which is basically an automatic 22-24% discount depending on your tax bracket.

Carmen, I've been in a similar situation and here's what I learned after making some mistakes early on. The key is to run the numbers both ways before deciding - don't just go with the "lower income should claim" rule of thumb. Since you make more ($62k vs $48k), the IRS tiebreaker rules technically give you the right to claim your daughter. But that doesn't mean it's always the best financial decision for your household overall. Here's what I'd suggest: Calculate your taxes both ways. Look at the total refund/tax owed for both of you combined when (1) you claim her and file Head of Household vs (2) she claims her and files Head of Household. The difference can be significant - sometimes hundreds or even over $1000. Don't forget to factor in the Child and Dependent Care Credit for those daycare expenses - that can be worth up to $3,000 and only the person claiming the child can use it. Since you're paying more for daycare and health insurance, this might tip the scales in favor of you claiming her. Also consider your girlfriend's student loan situation if she has any - sometimes the education credits and deductions can make it more beneficial for the lower-income parent to claim the child. Bottom line: The IRS doesn't care who claims her as long as you both don't try to claim her in the same year. So run the numbers and go with whatever maximizes your household's total tax benefit!