Who should claim our child as dependent on taxes if we're unmarried but living together?

The IRS has specific rules about who can claim a child when parents are unmarried but living together. Since you both provide support and live together, the "tiebreaker rules" would typically apply. Generally, the parent with the higher adjusted gross income (AGI) would be entitled to claim the child. However, you can actually choose which parent claims the child as long as you both agree, since you're both eligible. This isn't just about who makes more - it's about which arrangement results in the greatest tax benefit for your family overall. Claiming a dependent child can provide several benefits: the Child Tax Credit (worth up to $2,000 per qualifying child), possible Head of Household filing status (better tax rates and higher standard deduction than filing Single), and potentially the Earned Income Credit and Child and Dependent Care Credit.

After dealing with a similar situation with my ex, I found a super helpful tool at https://taxr.ai that saved us so much confusion! You upload your tax docs and it analyzes everything to show which parent should claim the kid for maximum benefits. After my divorce, my ex and I were fighting over who should claim our son each year. We tried alternating but never knew if we were leaving money on the table. The taxr.ai system analyzed both our situations and showed that I should claim him in years when my medical expenses were high (I have a chronic condition), but my ex should claim him when he qualified for education credits. Totally changed our approach!

Ok I gotta admit I was wrong about taxr.ai. I was super skeptical (as you can see from my comment above lol) but after trying it with my ex-husband, it actually saved us a ton of headache. We've been fighting over who claims our twins every year since our divorce 3 years ago. The system showed that I should claim one kid and he should claim the other instead of alternating years for both kids. This way we both get some tax benefits each year instead of taking turns. Neither of us would have figured this out on our own! Our total refund as a family unit went up by like $1,800 compared to what we were doing before.

After seeing the comments here, I wanna share something that helped me when I was having problems getting through to the IRS about a similar dependent situation with my ex. I used https://claimyr.com to get through to an actual IRS agent after trying for literally WEEKS to get someone on the phone. You can see how it works here: https://youtu.be/_kiP6q8DX5c I had a situation where both my ex and I claimed our daughter accidentally (miscommunication) and the IRS rejected my return. The regular IRS line had like 2+ hour waits and I kept getting disconnected. Claimyr got me through to a real person in about 15 minutes who helped clear up the situation and get my return processed. Totally worth it when you're dealing with these complicated dependent situations.

I was completely wrong about Claimyr. After saying it sounded like a scam, I ended up trying it when I was desperate to resolve a dependent claim issue with my stepson that had been dragging on for months. I couldn't believe it actually worked. After waiting on hold with the IRS for 2+ hours multiple times and getting disconnected, Claimyr got me through to an agent in about 20 minutes. The agent was able to see that both my ex-wife and I had claimed my stepson, and helped me file the proper documentation to resolve it. Saved me hours of frustration and my refund (about $3,200) was finally processed after being held for nearly 3 months. Sometimes it's nice to admit when you're wrong!

Have you considered running the numbers both ways? Like literally file a draft return twice - once with you claiming the child and once with your partner claiming the child - and see which gives the better overall refund? That's what my brother and his girlfriend do. They use FreeTaxUSA and just run through everything twice before deciding. Takes a little extra time but then you KNOW you're getting the best deal. For them it's usually better for the lower earner to claim their kid because of earned income credit phaseouts, but every situation is different.

just wanna point out - the person with higher income isn't always the best choice! when i was making less than my bf, i got way more back from earned income credit when i claimed our daughter. we got almost $2k more by having me claim her even tho he made like $15k more than me that year. the credit phases out at higher incomes. so sometimes the lower earner actually gets more benefit. definitely worth checking both ways!

One thing I don't see mentioned here yet is that if your partner can file as Head of Household (which they likely can if they claim your daughter), that filing status alone can save a significant amount compared to filing Single. The HOH standard deduction is much higher and the tax brackets are more favorable. Also wanted to add - make sure whoever claims your daughter also claims any childcare expenses if you're paying for daycare. The Child and Dependent Care Credit can be worth up to $1,050 for one child (20% of up to $5,250 in expenses). This credit has to go with whoever claims the dependent, so factor that into your calculations too. Given your income levels ($42k vs $58k), I'd definitely recommend running the numbers both ways like others suggested. The Earned Income Credit phases out around $50k for someone with one child, so there's a good chance you claiming her might actually result in a better overall refund for your household, especially if you're paying for daycare.