just wanna point out - the person with higher income isn't always the best choice! when i was making less than my bf, i got way more back from earned income credit when i claimed our daughter. we got almost $2k more by having me claim her even tho he made like $15k more than me that year. the credit phases out at higher incomes. so sometimes the lower earner actually gets more benefit. definitely worth checking both ways!

One thing I don't see mentioned here yet is that if your partner can file as Head of Household (which they likely can if they claim your daughter), that filing status alone can save a significant amount compared to filing Single. The HOH standard deduction is much higher and the tax brackets are more favorable. Also wanted to add - make sure whoever claims your daughter also claims any childcare expenses if you're paying for daycare. The Child and Dependent Care Credit can be worth up to $1,050 for one child (20% of up to $5,250 in expenses). This credit has to go with whoever claims the dependent, so factor that into your calculations too. Given your income levels ($42k vs $58k), I'd definitely recommend running the numbers both ways like others suggested. The Earned Income Credit phases out around $50k for someone with one child, so there's a good chance you claiming her might actually result in a better overall refund for your household, especially if you're paying for daycare.

One warning from someone who tried to deduct therapy: if you take the standard deduction ($13,850 for single filers in 2025), you can't also claim medical expenses. You have to choose either the standard deduction OR itemized deductions that include your medical expenses. I made this mistake last year and had to redo my taxes. Unless your total itemized deductions (medical, mortgage interest, charitable donations, etc.) exceed the standard deduction amount, you won't benefit from deducting therapy costs.

This is really helpful information everyone! I'm in a similar situation with about $12k in therapy expenses this year. One thing I learned from my tax preparer is that you should also keep documentation showing that the therapy was medically necessary - not just for general wellness or life coaching. The IRS distinguishes between treatment for diagnosed mental health conditions versus general counseling. Since you mentioned childhood trauma, that should definitely qualify as medical treatment. My therapist provided me with a simple letter stating that the sessions were for treating diagnosed PTSD, which helps support the deduction if questioned. Also worth noting - if you're paying with a credit card, make sure your statements clearly show the therapist's name and that it's for medical services. Some therapists have business names that don't obviously indicate mental health services, which could raise questions later.

A little tip from someone who's dealt with this Gusto W4 issue before - take a screenshot or document the changes you make to your W4 settings and the date you made them. I've had issues where changes I made didn't actually get processed correctly, and having that documentation made it much easier to get it fixed and even get a payroll correction when necessary. Also worth noting that depending on when in the pay period you make the change, it might not take effect until the next paycheck. Gusto typically has a cutoff date for payroll processing where changes made after that date roll to the next cycle.

Just wanted to add another perspective for anyone dealing with variable income like you mentioned. I'm also hourly with fluctuating pay, and what's worked well for me is using a combination approach: 1. I use the IRS calculator quarterly like Miguel suggested, but I also keep a simple spreadsheet tracking my year-to-date income and taxes withheld after each paycheck 2. For Gusto specifically, I've found their customer service is much better if you call during off-peak hours (early morning or late afternoon) - you're more likely to get someone who actually understands tax withholding One thing that caught my attention in your post - you mentioned not seeing any difference in withholding after updating Step 3. Double-check that you're looking at the right line on your paystub. Sometimes the change shows up in "Federal Income Tax" but not necessarily in the total withholding if other deductions changed too. Also, since you're trying to get close to zero refund, consider that with variable income, it's often better to err slightly on the side of overwithholding rather than underwithholding to avoid potential underpayment penalties. The quarterly approach really helps with this!

Just a thought - have you looked into whether any of your father in law's $4700 income might be non-taxable? Things like certain VA benefits, some Social Security benefits depending on total income, and certain disability payments don't count toward the gross income test for dependency. If enough of his income is non-taxable, he might actually fall under the threshold and could potentially qualify as a dependent, which would solve your head of household problem.

This is a complex situation that highlights how tricky the head of household rules can be! I'd recommend double-checking a few things that might help your case: First, as others mentioned, carefully review what types of income your father-in-law receives. If any portion of that $4,700 comes from non-taxable sources (like certain Social Security benefits, VA disability, or other exempt income), it wouldn't count toward the gross income test. Even reducing his taxable income by a few hundred dollars could make him qualify as your dependent. Second, the special parent rule mentioned by Ryan Andre could be really important here. Since your partner is supporting his own father and paying more than half the household expenses, this might be the path to head of household status even if the father can't be claimed as a dependent due to income. I'd also suggest getting professional help given the complexity - either through one of the AI tools mentioned, calling the IRS directly, or consulting with a tax professional who specializes in family support situations. The potential tax savings from head of household status versus single filing could be significant enough to justify the cost of getting expert guidance. Keep detailed records of all expenses your partner pays for the household - this documentation will be crucial regardless of which filing approach you end up taking.

The NJ Division of Taxation officially states that e-filed returns take approximately 4 weeks to process, while paper returns take a minimum of 12 weeks. However, these are best-case scenarios. If your return was selected for additional review or if you claimed certain credits like the Earned Income Tax Credit, processing can take significantly longer. The 'in process' status on their Where's My Refund tool simply means they've received your return and it's in the queue for processing - it doesn't indicate where in the process your return actually is.

I'm going through the exact same thing! Filed my NJ return in early February and still waiting. The frustrating part is that their "Where's My Refund" tool hasn't been updated in weeks - just shows "processing" with no timeline. I've heard from other people that NJ really struggles with their outdated systems. At this point I'm just trying to be patient, but it's tough when you're counting on that money. Hang in there - sounds like we're all in the same boat this year!