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Amy Fleming

Widow's benefit confusion - why isn't my mom getting my dad's full Social Security amount?

I'm completely confused about my mother's survivor benefits and hoping someone can explain this to me. My father passed away in March 2025 after 52 years of marriage to my mom. She's 75 now and has been collecting her own retirement since she turned 67 (her FRA). Dad waited until his full retirement age too before claiming, and his monthly benefit was about $2,900 while mom's was only about $1,700. After we notified SSA of dad's passing, they adjusted mom's payment up to $2,320, which is definitely higher than before but nowhere near what dad was receiving. I've been reading online that widows are supposed to receive their deceased spouse's FULL benefit amount. Did SSA make a mistake here? Mom was counting on having dad's full benefit to maintain her standard of living. Should I call SSA to dispute this or is there something about survivor benefits I'm misunderstanding?

The information you're reading online isn't exactly accurate. A widow doesn't automatically get her husband's full amount. What she gets depends on when she starts taking survivor benefits and if she's already collecting her own retirement. If your mom is already getting her own retirement, she'll receive the higher of either her own benefit or the survivor benefit, not both combined.

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Thanks for the quick answer! So if mom was already at her FRA when dad died, and he was collecting his full benefit, shouldn't she get his full amount though? I'm still confused why she's getting $2,320 instead of his full $2,900.

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I can explain this better! What your mom is experiencing is completely normal. When a widow is already receiving their own retirement benefit, they don't just switch over to their deceased spouse's full amount. Instead, SSA gives them what's called a "top up" to bring their benefit up to a certain percentage (generally 100% if she's at FRA) of what the deceased was receiving. But there's an important technical detail - the top up is based on the Primary Insurance Amount (PIA), not necessarily the exact amount your dad was receiving. If your dad delayed claiming beyond his FRA, he would have received delayed retirement credits that unfortunately don't fully transfer to your mom's survivor benefit in the same way. This is a very common misconception about survivor benefits that frustrates many families.

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Oh! That makes more sense. Dad did wait about a year past his FRA to claim. So the extra amount he got for delaying doesn't fully transfer to mom? That seems unfair but at least explains the discrepancy. Thank you for clearing that up!

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this is exactly what happened with my parents!! my dad had delayed till 70 and mom only got like 82% of what he was getting when he passed. makes no SENSE to me but social security has all these weird rules nobody understands

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Im going thru the same thing!!! My husband passed in Janurary and I was already collecting SS since I turned 66 in 2023. His check was $3100 and mine was only $1500. The SSA person said I would get his full amount but when I got the first payment after he died it was only $2600!! I called and the rep said something about "maximum family benefit" and that I can't get his full amount because of some calculation I don't understand. Been trying to call back every day for 2 weeks for someone to explain it better but I NEVER get through!!!!

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I've been in your exact situation trying to get through to SSA. After over 20 attempts and hours of waiting, I finally discovered Claimyr (claimyr.com) which got me connected to a representative in less than 10 minutes. They have a video showing how it works: https://youtu.be/Z-BRbJw3puU - it was honestly a lifesaver for resolving my widow benefit questions. The SSA rep explained everything about why my benefit was calculated differently than expected.

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Thank you so much! I've never heard of this before but I'm going to try it tomorrow. I've been so frustrated trying to understand why I'm not getting his full amount and just need someone to EXPLAIN it to me properly!

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Let me explain what's happening in technical terms. Your mother should receive the higher of either: 1. Her own retirement benefit 2. A survivor benefit, which is up to 100% of your father's Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) The key here is understanding that the PIA is the benefit amount your father would have received at his FRA, NOT including any delayed retirement credits he earned by waiting past FRA to claim. For example, if your father's PIA was $2,320 (the benefit at his FRA), but he received $2,900 because he delayed claiming, your mother's survivor benefit would be based on the $2,320 amount. This is why she's receiving $2,320 instead of $2,900. It's not a mistake - it's how the survivor benefit calculations work.

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But I thought delayed retirement credits were supposed to increase the survivors benefit too? Isn't that one of the reasons financial advisors tell the higher-earning spouse to delay?

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You're partially right. If a person dies having never claimed benefits but after their FRA, the survivor DOES get credit for the delayed retirement credits. However, in cases where the person had already claimed their benefit (as OP's father did), the survivor benefit calculation is different and doesn't pass along the full value of delayed retirement credits. This is one of the most misunderstood aspects of Social Security.

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This happened with my aunt after my uncle died last year. She kept insisting that Social Security made a mistake because she wasn't getting his exact amount. Turned out she was on her own benefit already and only got the difference. There's so much confusion about this! I think the SSA should send out better explanations with their letters.

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They should explain EVERYTHING better!!! The letters they send make NO sense and then you can't get anyone on the phone to help explain it!

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Thank you all so much for your helpful replies! I think I understand now - mom is getting dad's Primary Insurance Amount but not the extra he got for delaying past FRA. Still seems unfair but at least I know SSA didn't make a mistake. I'll explain this to mom so she can adjust her budget accordingly. Really appreciate everyone's insights!

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You're welcome! One more thing to consider - your mother should check if she's eligible for the Lump Sum Death Benefit of $255. It's a small amount but every bit helps. Also, if your father had any uncashed Social Security checks when he passed, she may be entitled to those as well.

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Thanks for the tip about the lump sum benefit. We did receive that already. Mom should be okay financially, it's just that we were planning based on what we thought she'd receive. This has been such a learning experience about how Social Security actually works vs what most people think!

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As others have explained, your mother's benefit is correct. Here's a more detailed breakdown of why the benefit is calculated this way: * Your father's Primary Insurance Amount (PIA): $2,320 (estimated based on your post) * Your father's actual benefit with delayed credits: $2,900 * Your mother's own retirement benefit: $1,700 Since your mother was already at FRA when your father passed away, she's entitled to 100% of his PIA as a survivor benefit. SSA then compares her own benefit ($1,700) to the survivor benefit ($2,320) and pays her the higher amount. Unfortunately, most people misunderstand this calculation. I hope this clarifies why she's receiving $2,320 instead of $2,900.

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wait so ur saying if the husband never actually started getting his benefits but died after FRA the widow would get MORE?? that makes no sense!

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Actually yes, that's exactly right! If someone dies after their FRA but before claiming benefits, the survivor gets the full delayed retirement credits. But if they die after already claiming, the survivor benefit is based on the PIA without the full delayed credits. It's one of those weird Social Security rules that can actually penalize people for claiming their benefits early. Many financial planners don't fully understand this distinction either.

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I went through this exact situation with my mother-in-law last year. The confusion is so understandable because the Social Security Administration's explanations are really unclear. What helped us was requesting a detailed benefits statement that breaks down exactly how they calculated her survivor benefit. You can request this by calling SSA or visiting your local office. The statement will show your dad's Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) versus what he was actually receiving with delayed retirement credits. This documentation really helped my mother-in-law understand why she wasn't getting his full monthly amount and gave her peace of mind that SSA hadn't made an error. It also helped us plan her finances going forward since we knew exactly what to expect. Sorry for your loss, and I hope this helps clarify things for your mom during this difficult time.

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This is such helpful advice! I had no idea we could request a detailed breakdown of how they calculated the survivor benefit. That would definitely help mom understand exactly what she's receiving and why. We've been struggling to make sense of the SSA letters they sent, but having the actual calculation shown step by step would be so much clearer. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's comforting to know we're not the only family who found this confusing. I'll definitely call to request that detailed statement.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. This is such a common source of confusion for families dealing with survivor benefits. What you're experiencing is unfortunately normal - the way Social Security calculates survivor benefits is really counterintuitive. From what others have explained here, it sounds like your mom is receiving the correct amount based on your dad's Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) rather than his actual benefit with delayed retirement credits. The $580 difference ($2,900 - $2,320) likely represents those delayed credits that don't fully transfer to survivor benefits. I'd recommend calling SSA to request a detailed breakdown of how they calculated your mom's survivor benefit - this will show exactly why she's getting $2,320 instead of the full $2,900. Having that documentation can provide peace of mind that there wasn't an error and help with financial planning going forward. It's frustrating that this isn't explained clearly upfront, especially during such a difficult time. Many families face this same surprise and confusion.

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Thank you for this thoughtful explanation, Rajiv. As someone new to understanding Social Security benefits, I found your breakdown really helpful. The concept of PIA versus actual benefit amount with delayed credits is something I'd never heard of before reading this thread. It's eye-opening how many families must go through this same confusion during an already difficult time. I appreciate you mentioning that requesting the detailed breakdown from SSA can help - that seems like such a practical step that more people should know about. It's unfortunate that these important distinctions aren't communicated more clearly by SSA from the start.

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I'm really sorry for your loss, Amy. This thread has been incredibly educational for me as someone who doesn't have much experience with Social Security benefits yet. The distinction between Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) and the actual benefit amount with delayed retirement credits is something I never understood before reading all these explanations. What strikes me most is how many families seem to go through this exact same confusion and disappointment during an already difficult time. It really seems like the Social Security Administration could do a much better job explaining these calculations upfront, especially in their notification letters. The fact that so many people here have had similar experiences suggests this is a systemic communication problem. I hope you're able to get that detailed breakdown from SSA that others have mentioned - it sounds like having the actual calculation in writing really helps families understand what they're receiving and plan accordingly. Thank you for sharing your situation, as it's helping educate others about how survivor benefits actually work versus what many people expect.

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I completely agree with your observation about this being a systemic communication problem. As someone who's also still learning about Social Security, this thread has been eye-opening about how complex these benefit calculations really are. The fact that so many experienced community members here have had to help clarify these rules suggests that the SSA's standard explanations are failing families when they need clear information the most. It's particularly concerning that this confusion happens during such a vulnerable time when people are grieving and trying to figure out their financial future. I really appreciate Amy sharing her situation because it's helping all of us understand these important distinctions before we potentially face similar circumstances with our own families.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. This thread has been incredibly informative - I had no idea that survivor benefits worked this way. Like many others here, I always assumed that widows received their spouse's full benefit amount, so learning about the distinction between Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) and benefits with delayed retirement credits is really eye-opening. What's particularly concerning to me is how many families in this thread have experienced this same confusion and disappointment during an already difficult time. It seems like there's a real gap between what people expect and what actually happens with survivor benefits. The Social Security Administration really should provide clearer, more detailed explanations upfront rather than leaving families to piece together the rules during their time of grief. I hope getting that detailed calculation breakdown from SSA helps provide clarity for your mom's financial planning. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's helping educate all of us about these important but poorly communicated rules.

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You've really captured what seems to be a widespread issue here. As someone who's also learning about these benefits for the first time through this discussion, I'm struck by how consistent everyone's experience has been - the expectation that widows get the full benefit amount, followed by confusion and disappointment when the reality is different. It makes me wonder how many families are caught off guard by this every year. Amy's situation and all the responses here have been such a valuable learning experience about how Social Security actually works versus the common assumptions. It really highlights the need for better education and communication from SSA before people find themselves in these situations.

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I'm really sorry for your loss, Amy. This entire thread has been such an education for me about how survivor benefits actually work. Like so many others here, I had always assumed that widows automatically received their spouse's full monthly benefit amount, so learning about the Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) versus delayed retirement credits distinction is completely new to me. What really stands out is how universal this confusion seems to be - nearly everyone who has commented has either experienced this personally or knows someone who has. That suggests to me that this isn't just a few isolated cases of misunderstanding, but rather a fundamental communication failure on the part of the Social Security Administration. The fact that families are discovering these rules during one of the most difficult times in their lives, when they're grieving and trying to figure out their financial future, makes it even more problematic. SSA really should provide much clearer, more comprehensive explanations upfront rather than leaving people to piece together the calculations after the fact. I hope the suggestion about requesting a detailed breakdown of the benefit calculation helps give your mom the clarity she needs for her financial planning. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's helping all of us understand these important but poorly communicated aspects of Social Security.

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I'm also new to understanding these Social Security rules, and this discussion has been incredibly enlightening. What strikes me most is how this seems to be such a predictable source of confusion - almost every family expects one thing and gets something different. It makes me think that maybe Social Security should proactively send out educational materials about survivor benefits before people need them, rather than waiting until someone is grieving to explain these complex calculations. The emotional toll of dealing with unexpected financial changes during bereavement must be enormous. I really appreciate everyone sharing their experiences here because it's helping those of us who haven't faced this situation yet to understand what to expect and how to better prepare our families.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. This discussion has been incredibly educational for me as someone who hasn't dealt with Social Security survivor benefits yet. What's really striking is how many people in this thread have had nearly identical experiences - expecting the widow to receive the deceased spouse's full benefit amount, only to discover the reality is much more complicated with PIA calculations and delayed retirement credit limitations. It seems like there's a real systematic problem with how the Social Security Administration communicates these rules. The fact that so many families are caught off guard during an already traumatic time suggests that SSA should be doing much more proactive education about how survivor benefits actually work, rather than leaving people to figure it out after someone has passed away. The suggestion from others about requesting a detailed breakdown of the calculation sounds really helpful - at least that way your mom can see exactly how they arrived at the $2,320 figure and feel confident that no mistakes were made. I hope that gives her some peace of mind and helps with her financial planning going forward. Thank you for sharing your experience. It's helping all of us learn about these important but poorly explained aspects of Social Security benefits.

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I'm also new to learning about Social Security benefits, and this entire conversation has been so eye-opening. What really concerns me is how this seems to be such a widespread issue - nearly every family expects one outcome but gets something completely different. As someone who may need to help my own parents navigate these benefits someday, I'm realizing how important it is to understand these rules before we're in a crisis situation. The distinction between PIA and actual benefits with delayed credits is something I never would have known about without reading this thread. It makes me think we should all be having these conversations with our families proactively, rather than trying to figure it out during such an emotionally difficult time. Amy, I hope getting that detailed calculation breakdown helps your mom feel more confident about her benefits going forward.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. This thread has been incredibly helpful in understanding how survivor benefits actually work - I had no idea about the difference between Primary Insurance Amount and the actual benefit with delayed retirement credits. What really concerns me as someone still learning about Social Security is how consistently this seems to catch families off guard. Nearly everyone here has shared similar stories of expecting the full spousal benefit amount and being surprised by the actual calculation. This suggests the SSA really needs to do better at explaining these rules before families are dealing with grief and financial uncertainty. I think the advice about requesting a detailed breakdown of how they calculated your mom's $2,320 benefit is excellent. Having that documentation would not only confirm there were no errors but also help with her financial planning moving forward. It's such a shame that families have to seek out this level of detail rather than receiving clear explanations upfront. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's helping educate those of us who may face similar situations with our own families someday. I hope your mom is able to adjust her budget and find some peace of mind knowing she's receiving the correct amount according to SSA's rules, even if those rules aren't what most people would expect.

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I'm also just learning about Social Security through this discussion, and I'm really grateful for how educational it's been. What strikes me most is how this confusion seems almost inevitable - the gap between what people naturally expect (the full spousal benefit) and how the system actually works (PIA calculations) is so significant. As someone who will likely need to help aging parents navigate these benefits eventually, this thread has made me realize how important it is to research and understand these rules well before they're needed. The emotional and financial stress of discovering these limitations during grief must be overwhelming. Amy, I hope the detailed calculation breakdown gives your mom clarity and confidence in her financial planning. Thank you for starting this conversation - it's been invaluable for those of us trying to prepare for similar situations with our own families.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. This thread has been incredibly enlightening for me as someone who is just beginning to learn about Social Security benefits. Like many others here, I had always assumed that survivor benefits meant receiving the deceased spouse's full monthly amount, so discovering the complexity around Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) versus delayed retirement credits is completely new information. What's particularly troubling is how universal this confusion appears to be - almost every person who has shared their experience here has gone through the same cycle of expectation, surprise, and frustration. This suggests that the Social Security Administration has a serious communication problem that's affecting families during one of their most vulnerable times. The practical advice from other community members about requesting a detailed calculation breakdown from SSA seems invaluable. At least having those numbers in writing would provide your mom with confidence that no errors were made and help her plan financially with accurate information. It's unfortunate that families have to piece together these critical rules during their time of grief rather than having clear, comprehensive information provided upfront. Thank you for sharing your situation - it's helping all of us understand how these benefits actually work and hopefully preparing us to have better conversations with our own families before we find ourselves in similar circumstances. I hope your mom finds some peace of mind once she has all the details about her benefit calculation.

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As someone completely new to Social Security benefits, this entire discussion has been such a valuable learning experience. I'm really struck by how many families seem to go through this exact same situation - it's almost like there's a predictable pattern of confusion that happens when people encounter survivor benefits for the first time. The gap between common expectations and how the system actually works seems enormous, and it's happening during such a difficult time when people are already dealing with grief and major life changes. I really appreciate Amy sharing her story and everyone else contributing their experiences and knowledge. It's made me realize how important it would be for all of us to have these conversations with our families ahead of time, so we're not learning these complex rules when we're least equipped to handle surprises. The suggestion about getting that detailed breakdown from SSA seems so practical - having the actual calculations would definitely provide peace of mind that everything was done correctly.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. As someone who's new to understanding Social Security benefits, this entire discussion has been incredibly educational. I had no idea that survivor benefits worked this way - like many others here, I always assumed widows received their deceased spouse's full monthly benefit amount. What really stands out to me is how many families in this thread have shared almost identical experiences - the same expectations followed by the same confusion and disappointment. This seems to indicate a serious gap in how the Social Security Administration communicates these complex rules, especially during such a vulnerable time when people are grieving and trying to manage major financial changes. The distinction between Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) and actual benefits with delayed retirement credits is something I never would have understood without reading all these explanations. It's concerning that families are having to learn these crucial details after the fact rather than having clear information provided upfront. I think the advice from other community members about requesting a detailed breakdown of the benefit calculation from SSA is excellent - that documentation would help confirm the calculations are correct and assist with financial planning going forward. Thank you for sharing your experience. It's helping those of us who haven't faced this situation yet understand what to expect and emphasizes the importance of having these conversations with our families before we find ourselves in similar circumstances.

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I'm also new to Social Security and learning so much from this thread. What really strikes me is how this confusion seems almost universal - every family expects one thing but the reality is completely different. As someone who might need to help elderly relatives navigate these benefits someday, I'm realizing how crucial it is to understand these rules before we're in a crisis. The PIA versus delayed retirement credits distinction is so complex, yet it makes such a huge difference in what survivors actually receive. It's really unfortunate that SSA doesn't provide clearer upfront education about these calculations, especially since the emotional impact of financial surprises during grief must be devastating. Amy, I hope getting that detailed breakdown helps your mom feel confident about her benefits and plan accordingly. Thank you for starting this important conversation that's helping all of us prepare better.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. As someone who's still learning about Social Security benefits, this thread has been incredibly eye-opening. Like so many others here, I had no idea that survivor benefits were calculated based on the Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) rather than the actual monthly benefit amount the deceased spouse was receiving. What's really concerning is how widespread this confusion seems to be - nearly every person who's shared their experience here has gone through the same cycle of expecting the full spousal benefit and then being surprised by the actual amount. This suggests there's a fundamental communication problem at SSA that's affecting families during one of their most difficult times. The advice about requesting a detailed breakdown of the benefit calculation from SSA seems really valuable. Having those specific numbers would not only provide peace of mind that no errors were made, but also help your mom plan her finances with accurate information going forward. It's unfortunate that families have to learn these complex rules during their time of grief rather than having clear, comprehensive information available beforehand. Thank you for sharing your situation - it's helping all of us understand how these benefits actually work and preparing us to have important conversations with our own families before we might face similar circumstances. I hope your mom finds clarity and confidence once she has the detailed calculation information from SSA.

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I'm also just starting to learn about Social Security benefits through this discussion, and it's been such a valuable education. What really resonates with me is how this seems to be a predictable problem that affects so many families - the expectation versus reality gap is huge, and it's happening at the worst possible time when people are already overwhelmed with grief and major life changes. The complexity of PIA calculations versus actual benefit amounts is something most people would never think to research ahead of time, yet it makes such a significant difference in financial planning. This thread has really opened my eyes to how important it would be to have these conversations with family members well before they're needed, rather than trying to figure out these rules during a crisis. Amy, I hope getting that detailed breakdown from SSA provides the clarity your mom needs and helps her feel confident about her financial situation going forward. Thank you for sharing this - it's helping so many of us prepare better for potential future situations with our own families.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Amy. As someone new to understanding Social Security benefits, this entire discussion has been incredibly educational. The distinction between Primary Insurance Amount (PIA) and actual benefits with delayed retirement credits is something I never knew existed before reading this thread. What really strikes me is how many families seem to experience this exact same confusion - expecting the full spousal benefit amount but receiving something different based on complex calculations. It appears to be such a widespread issue that suggests the Social Security Administration could do much better at explaining these rules upfront, especially during such a vulnerable time. The practical advice from other community members about requesting a detailed breakdown of how SSA calculated your mom's $2,320 benefit sounds very helpful. Having those specific calculations in writing would provide peace of mind that everything was done correctly and help with her financial planning moving forward. Thank you for sharing your experience - it's helping those of us who haven't faced this situation yet understand how survivor benefits actually work versus what many people naturally assume. I hope getting that detailed explanation from SSA gives your mom the clarity and confidence she needs during this difficult time.

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